Early Doors never thought it would see anybody leap to Ashley Cole's defence.
This is a man who embodies everything odious about the modern game. Who left his boyhood club to chase money; who became the face (or the back) of anti-respect when he turned away from a referee; who played the field despite landing a pop star wife; who published a remarkably self-pitying autobiography that sold only 4000 copies.
Now he is cast as a victim after England fans booed him for his calamitous pass that led to Kazakhstan's goal on Saturday.
Words like 'disgraceful', 'mindless' and 'idiots' are bandied about by players, managers and pundits who reach the po-faced conclusion that anyone who booed Cole is worse than Hitler.
First of all, there is the namby-pamby argument that nobody should be subjected to public ridicule.
Tell that to Ashley's more successful other half Cheryl, currently appearing on a TV programme that has spent the last two months laughing at poor saps who think they can sing but can't.
Next comes the claim that the fans are to blame for England's poor home record. Wembley will never become a fortress unless people get behind the team and show unwavering support.
Surely this puts the cart before the horse? Fans wouldn't be booing if the team wasn't so crap.
The crowd had already endured 68 minutes of utter tosh with some patience before Cole's party piece allowed Zhambyl Kukeyev to race through and score the most embarrassing goal England have conceded since Davide 'General' Gualtieri took just eight seconds to beat David Seaman for San Marino.
Rio Ferdinand also deserves blame, incidentally. If he had reacted to Cole's ricket as quickly as Kukeyev did, he would have cut the ball out easily.
Only then did the jeers rain down on Cole. But it is important to understand that he wasn't booed for the mistake as much as what the mistake represented.
For reasons that are painfully obvious, Early Doors doesn't condone booing people for incompetence. Cole was guilty of more than that.
That San Marino goal in 1993 came from another left-back error, by Stuart Pearce. He under-hit a backpass and San Marino scored. But it was merely rubbish, not reprehensible.
When people say Cole didn't make his mistake on purpose, they are wrong. Of course he did it on purpose.
ED doesn't mean he deliberately gave away a goal. But he knew that the pass was showy and risky, and he played it anyway because it was only Kazakhstan.
In nearly a decade of club football, has Cole ever done anything as stupid as that? (On the pitch, that is.) Would he ever, in a million years, think of doing that for Chelsea? Of course not.
Cole personified the entire England team, which was suffused with complacency. Where the 4-1 win in Croatia was full of urgency, drive and ambition, Saturday's match was totally flat.
England were so convinced that goals would come by divine right, they couldn't be bothered to make anything happen.
It was the same at the back. In the first half, rather than making an obvious clearance, Matthew Upson attempted a dangerous backpass to David James. Presumably because booting the ball into Row Z against such lowly opposition would have been embarrassing.
A couple of minutes before the first goal, Kazakhstan nearly scored after Cole was caught miles out of position.
Where was he? Vomiting on the floor of a black cab? Watching X-Factor? Debating some p*ss-take contract offer?
Clearly, England were not trying, and Cole was the worst offender.
Clubs and the FA are happy to view football as a product when it suits them. They take full advantage when people pay huge sums to consume football matches, replica shirts, Peter Crouch calendars and Wes Brown alarm clocks.
Despite this relentless commercialisation, there seems to remain an old-fashioned view that the people who shell out thousands of pounds a year for this tat should not be viewed as discriminating customers.
They are expected to shell out £70 a head for tickets, get a crappy old train to a dank corner of North-West London (no parking at English grounds, obviously), spend another tenner on a programme, then buy overpriced hot dogs and fizzy drinks.
And then they are expected not to complain when they see something as lifeless and complacent as the first 70 minutes against Kazakhstan?
Nobody is forcing people to come to football matches. If they are not entertained, they won't be back. That's business. And if you don't want football to be a business, bring prices back down to 1966 levels, when World Cup tickets set you back all of seven bob.
Otherwise, you must expect people to make their voices heard when they feel short-changed.
And who said unconditional support was the best way to help your team win, anyway? Why is it that fans are expected to sit there (sorry, stand there) and cheer, clap and whoop, whatever fetid tripe their team feeds them?
Managers who take this approach - well, Kevin Keegan - are ridiculed for it. There are times when you need a good old-fashion rollicking to sort things out - and the booing of Cole was the fans' version of the hairdryer treatment.
Players are mollycoddled and protected from reality enough as it is. Do they really need fans to overlook their failings and give them a pat on the back they clearly don't deserve?
England's performance in general - and Cole's in particular - was unacceptable and they needed to be told so.
Things improved markedly after the booing started - do you think it was a coincidence? Well, yes, it probably was.
The late glut of goals probably had less to do with the abuse meted out to Cole than England's realisation that defending set-pieces is no more a part of Kazakh culture than naked wrestling or the running of the Jew.
But it's fun to boo Ashley Cole.
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Disagree with the above? Well, you're in good company. Jonathan Symcox explains why booing simply isn't on. And Reda Maher agrees with him. Early Doors thinks they are both fools.
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QUOTE OF THE WEEKEND: Steven Gerrard: "It's up to the manager whether he plays me and Frank [Lampard] in central midfield or plays a three and changes the formation."
Only for the staggering arrogance in Gerrard's statement. It hasn't even occurred to him that he might be dropped.
EXCHANGE OF THE WEEKEND: Paul Dickov on Goals on Sunday, proving he is just as troublesome as a pundit as he was as a player.
Pleasingly, Robbie Savage was the target of his mischief, forcing Chris Kamara to defuse a potentially embarrassing situation.
Savage on Scotland 'striker' Chris Iwelumo: "I didn't expect to hear that sound coming out of his mouth."
Savage: "Well, er.."
Kamara: "Because he's coloured!! HAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! It's OK, you can say it!!!"
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FOREIGN VIEW: Early Doors is bracing itself for the worst. Despite France coming from two goals down to draw in Romania on Saturday, the most entertaining man in international football could still get the push. The French FA meets on Wednesday to discuss Raymond Domenech's position.