So, diving. Any right-minded football fan knows that it's the scourge of the modern game, damaging its reputation and cheating honest teams and players out of their deserved glory, right?
Wrong. Not according to FIFA president Sepp Blatter anyway, who has played down the negative effects of simulation.
Blatter harked back to his days as a player, insisting that diving has always been part of the game. In what could be construed as a cheeky swipe at his UEFA counterpart Michel Platini, the Swiss supremo also suggested that authorities should be concentrating on other things, rather than handing out bans such as the one handed to Arsenal's Eduardo, which was later quashed on appeal.
Blatter told a FIFA executive committee meeting in Rio de Janeiro: "I was a striker 50 years ago.
"We tried to dribble, but when we could not go through and someone put his foot there what do you do?
"You do a little bit more than you should have done. Is this so terrible? I don't think so."
Well there we have it. Blatter has revealed that he became so adept at diving into the buffets at the myriad meetings he attends thanks to skills learned in his playing days.
In all fairness, Blatter was playing down the furore over diving in order to make a point about eradicating violent conduct from the game.
He continued: "It (diving) is not so terrible that after matches we should intervene with a committee. They should not intervene on that. They should intervene with violent play."
So, you see, it's all part of a crusade to wipe out brutality from the beautiful game.
Brutality such as the horrific stamp by Standard Liege midfielder Axel Witsel in the Belgian league last month, which left Anderlecht's Marcin Wasilewski with a double fracture of his right leg. The Polish defender will be lucky if he's back playing before the end of the season.
What fate befell Witsel for his horrible assault which shocked a nation? A 10-match ban, reduced to eight on appeal by the Belgian FA, and a 2,500 euro fine, later cut to just 250.
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Speaking of violence in football, the fan who ran on to the Old Trafford pitch following Michael Owen's winner in the Manchester derby - which was so late it was almost early for the return fixture at Eastlands - has been given a banning order.
Jake Clarke, 21, from Chorley suffered the shame of being barred from going to a football match for three years to add to the humiliation of getting a dig in the chops from Craig Bellamy while he was restrained by stewards.
The court was reasonable enough to understand the distinction between a lone moron running on to the field during play and an elated crowd invading the pitch en masse to celebrate a cup giant-killing after the final whistle.
Which is all well and good, but will the courts stick to that precedent every time there is a pitch invader now? Will a pitch invader be dealt with just as harshly if they do so at a less high profile match in the lower leagues that's not being beamed around the world? ED's not holding its breath.
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COMING UP: The rest of the field get their second matches in the Champions League underway this evening from 19:30 - follow LIVE comments of every match including Manchester United v Wolfsburg, APOEL Nicosia v Chelsea and the rather tasty sounding Bayern Munich v Juventus. And, if you want to see how Juande Ramos is getting on these days, there's CSKA Moscow v Besiktas at 17:30.
There's also LIVE scoring of action from the Championship, League Two and the U20 World Cup.