Yak 1 n. large ox with shaggy hair, humped shoulder and large horns.
Yak 2 n. Nigerian striker who scores when fed.
Strong as an ox, but without the hair, hump and horns, last night Yakubu was the subject of one of the more prophetic terrace chants of recent weeks.
'Feed the Yak and he will score' sang the crowd. So Everton did. And he duly obliged. Three times, as Everton beat Norwegian no-hopers SK Brann 6-1.
Even Andrew 'Andy' Johnson managed to get on the scoresheet - twice, for heaven's sake - although quite how the tune 'der der der der, An-dee Jooohn-son' translates to 'give AJ the ball and he'll stick it in the back of the net' is beyond us.
No matter, AJ himself knew what the fans wanted and he delivered in style to bring back memories of the glory days of Kevin Sheedy, Neville Southall, Graeme Sharp and, er, Adrian Heath.
Can Everton go all the way this year and deliver a touch of European glory to the blue half of Merseyside? It's difficult to say before they have faced decent opposition (Robbie Winters anyone?) but if their front two can recreate that kind of form in later rounds, there is no reason at all why not.
Like his namesake of the animal kingdom, 'The Yak' - as Channel 5 presenter Colin Murray insisted on calling him, making us check the back of his shirt during the second half, just to make sure he hadn't sneakily changed his name by deed poll - is becoming a predictable creature.
He has been sensational since his move from Middlesbrough, and if he can continue his goalscoring heroics for the remainder of the season, Everton could quite possibly make it a Merseyside Euro one-two this season.
No, we're not talking about Liverpool winning the Champions League, rather the city's European Capital of Culture status.
Perhaps the Everton faithful should come up with a ditty to that effect. You never know what may happen.
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Roy Keane has long complained about the 'prawn sandwich brigade' so prevalent at matches these days with their 'laissez faire' attitude to the game and their 'mange tout' attitude towards half-time refreshments.
It is no secret that corporate hospitality has significantly contributed to the dampening of atmosphere in stadia across the country over recent years, leading to numerous suggestions as to how to rectify the problem.
Some, like lining up anyone who has paid over £100 for a ticket and shooting them, are simply not practical - for obvious reasons - but others have begun to make a slight difference.
At Wembley for example, televisions in the champagne and seafood bars of the executive concourses are switched off and drinks are stopped being served in an effort to tempt fans away from their rocket and crayfish salads and back into their seats before the second half kicks off.
But clearly the problem still exists. Which is why Carling have pledged to donate money to the Bobby Moore Fund for Cancer Research UK if fans at Sunday's Carling Cup final get back to their seats in time for the second-half.
The sponsors will give £10,000 for 50,000 fans, £12,500 for 60,000, £15,000 for 70,000, £17,500 for 80,000 and £20,000 for 85,000 and over.
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On a more sober note (or not, as the case may be), it deeply saddened Early Doors to hear news of Gazza's latest scrape which resulted in him being arrested and then sectioned under the Mental Health Act.
In a scenario that plays itself out all too often, a once great footballer - indeed the best of his generation - has once again plummeted to new depths.
Let's just hope Gazza's case serves as an example to others (Joey Barton take note) and that he proves to be the last of his kind to press the self destruct button in such spectacular fashion.
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HEADLINES OF THE DAY: So, it turns out that Paul Robinson is actually quite good after the keeper capped an excellent comeback performance with a trademark flying save to deny Slavia Prague late on and effectively seal Spurs' place in the last 16 of the UEFA Cup.
'Robbo's back', 'In safe hands', 'Keeper heroics save Spurs', 'Here's to you Mr Robinson', 'Robbo's the Juan to do it' are the headlines screaming out at us from this morning's papers.
FOREIGN VIEW: If Spanish fans had their way, Raul would still be playing in the national side at the age of 60. But coach Luis Aragones is still refusing to bow to pressure and maintains the Real Madrid striker is still not guaranteed a place in Spain's Euro 2008 squad.
TODAY'S TALKING POINT: Lighten us up with some of your favourite Gazza moments from happier times. Like his glorious FA Cup semi-final free-kick, his goal against the Scots at Wembley or that episode with the huge pair of fake plastic boobs.
QUOTE OF THE DAY: "The daiz ov gud edukayshun have went." john_wingfield displays his impeccable knowledge of modern day yoof speak.
MUST READ: All the weekend's team news in one handy package. It'll be online around midday - miss it at your peril.