The FA should play hardball to Harry Redknapp's media blackout threat - not because ED agrees with the old dears at Soho Square, but because it is keen to test the theory of spontaneous human combustion.
For those trapped in a football-free bubble for the past four days, Redknapp went on a post-match rant after referee Mark Clattenburg allowed a controversial goal by Nani in the 2-0 defeat at Manchester United on Saturday.
After reports emerged that the FA may punish him for his angry tirade, a less than 'appy 'Arry refused to back down and says he will no longer speak to the media in the event of censure.
A decision is expected later today and if the FA stick by their guns, Redknapp may well have to stick by his.
Fancy that - a muzzled Harry Redknapp.
There would be no cheeky asides about signing Wayne Rooney, no gushing praise of "top top players", no more cockney truisms, no more pointed barbs about the drinking culture among English players.
ED would miss Harry's stream of straight-talking banter, it really would.
Here we have a man who is adept at playing to the gallery, delighted to natter away with hacks and fans alike, and he is threatening to stop talking?
It would be akin to a ban on grooming for Jose Mourinho, a firm decision by Rafael Benitez to stop being so weird, the prevention of Tiger Woods from getting action - and we all know what has happened to Tiger since.
A sustained period of silence for Redknapp would not only be inhumane, it would surely see him swell up and explode.
ED has no doubt that Clattenburg made a right boo-boo: he must have missed Nani's clear handball in the build up - a pretty big error in itself given how blatant it was - and he refused to reverse the decision despite advice from his flagging assistant.
Gomes must also take responsibility, as he did not play to the whistle: Clattenburg did not signal for a free-kick and clearly waved play on. And anyhow, Younes Kaboul obviously fouled Nani and it should have initially been a penalty.
ED will side with Redknapp though as his logic regarding speaking to the media is faultless: the authorities govern a game deliberately geared towards mistakes, then they make us talk, but damn us for talking about mistakes.
Managers and players should respect referees, but there is nothing disrespectful in saying someone made a mistake when they clearly did. It happens in every industry.
Clubs are required to make staff available for post-match interviews; the manager or his assistant must speak to the media only seconds after the heat of battle has cooled.
But football's authorities refuse to allow referees the video replay, used successfully in so many sports - including Sunday's sold-out NFL clash between the San Francisco 49ers and the Denver Broncos in London.
Much of FIFA and UEFA's frankly pathetic argument against video technology is based around the romantic and outdated notion that, somehow, incorrect decisions create 'talking points', and that the introduction of the devil that is technology would make it like a Playstation game.
These talking points, muse the powers that be from their tax havens in Central Europe, make the game what it is, bringing a fallible beauty to these margins between victory and defeat: a fallibility that makes us love it so.
The absence of the video replay limits the game's already-faltering credibility and fosters poisonous conspiracy theories that see referees (and their families) threatened by nutjobs and, on occasion, bought by bookmakers and unscrupulous club officials.
It means officials will continue to be intimidated by home crowds and players, their judgement clouded, and errors - or even inadvertent bias - the inevitable result. It means managers - righteous or otherwise - will continue to criticise decisions that could easily have been put to bed on the field, reversed with a simple big-screen replay that would arguably add to the drama and provide instant resolutio.
It also means that managers will continue to be punished for fulfilling their duties while gagged and bound by a ludicrous, paradoxical system that fosters both refereeing errors and dissent, yet throws the book at both.
Joseph Heller detailed such whimsy in Catch 22, but ED finds Redknapp's own analysis equally fitting: it is a "farce".
The popularity of the tech-savvy NFL in Britain has increased to such a level that the 49ers-Bronco clash at Wembley was the fourth straight NFL game in England to sell out, with the atmosphere and ratings so good that there is serious talk of setting up a London franchise.
Recent England football games at the same venue, meanwhile, have been some way short of a full house, despite showcasing the national sport.
While this has everything to do with their poor performance at the World Cup, the 'dark ages' attitude towards technology is symptomatic of a wider malaise.
It is a sniffing arrogance to which the game's authorities insist on clinging at the expense of those who actually make it what it is: not the referees, not the federations but its actual protagonists; the players and the fans.
QUOTE OF THE DAY: "What I said in the week, I don't want to go down. I don't want to go down. What I said is most teams that come up go 'boing, boing'. If people want to give my fans the message I'm happy going down, I didn't say that. I would never say that. Listen to what I say and don't switch it around. I would never be happy going down and I don't think we will. Everybody else does. When you weigh up the facts, we had to build a ground, smallest budget by a mile, probably the worst team ever to come up, probably going to get the least points ever. Just keep adding it up. Fantastic. It's all stacked against us, I don't have a problem with that. But when I say something, don't switch it. I don't like that. Maybe I won't say anything in the future. Is that what you want?" - Ian Holloway, obviously, on 'going down'. Don't ever go down, Ian - please.
FOREIGN VIEW 1: "Every single press conference is even worse than the last one. (Roy Hodgson) is talking about things that he doesn't know. And some people cannot see a priest on a mountain of sugar. So, instead of talking about flips and flops, he has to concentrate on his job, try to do his best and not talk about the level of his players or the new players. Concentrate, try to do your best because it will be the best for the club and it will be the best for the fans" - Rafael Benitez just can not help it. A priest? A mountain of sugar? Madness, sheer madness.
FOREIGN VIEW 2: "I was very proud to have trained Lionel Messi. With me he was happy, don't you doubt it. I understood him like no-one else. If 'Checho' (Sergio Batista) says now that Messi's happy, it's because he dressed up as a clown. 'Checho' can't make anyone happy" - professional idiot Diego Maradona sticks the knife into new Argentina coach Batista, even though Batista won Beijing Olympic gold with a team featuring Messi and oversaw a 4-1 spanking of world champions Spain as interim boss. Clearly the unfussy, efficient Batista is more of a clown than Maradona.
COMING UP: Harry Redknapp gets the chance to banish the memory of Nani's goal as Tottenham's face Internazionale at White Hart Lane in the Champions League, while Manchester United visit Bursaspor and Rangers are entertained by Valencia, all from 7.45pm GMT. There is also live tennis, as Andy Murray faces Feliciano Lopez in the first round of ATP Valencia while Novak Djokovic is in action in Basel.