When a player makes his debut, all he wants to do is stamp his authority on the game and show his new club what he is all about.
That is precisely what Justin Hoyte did when he came off the bench for Middlesbrough against Liverpool on Saturday.
Hoyte is most famous for having the mickey taken out of him repeatedly by Cristiano Ronaldo, who treats the full-back as a sort of mobile plastic cone.
Now a Smoggie, Hoyte made a 15-minute cameo at Anfield that told the Boro fans all they needed to know.
He came on to shore up the back line with Boro leading 1-0. A quarter of an hour later Liverpool had won 2-1 after staging a remarkable late comeback.
True, Hoyte didn't appear at fault for either goal, but Early Doors subscribes to the conspiracy theorist's maxim that there are no coincidences in football.
At least, as debuts go, it wasn't as bad as these:
Jonathan Woodgate - Real Madrid
The king of all nightmare debuts. Woodgate waited over a year to play for Real because of injury. Then, when he did, he scored an own goal - a spectacular diving header- and was sent off against Athletic Bilbao in September 2005.
Andrea Silenzi - Nottingham Forest
The Italian arrived at the City Ground to a great fanfare in 1995, but fell over as he took the field for his first appearance. Remarkably, that was probably his best moment in a Forest shirt.
Patrice Evra - Manchester United
A January 2006 signing from Monaco, Evra was entrusted with the left-back berth against City in a highly-charged derby game. Evra was run ragged, substituted at half-time and City won 3-1.
Borja Oubina - Birmingham City
The midfielder was 13 minutes into his full debut in September 2007 (he had, admittedly, made a brief substitute cameo before that) when he suffered a knee injury that ruled him out for six months. He never played for the Blues again.
Mike Salmon - Oxford United
The U's signed goalkeeper Salmon on a Friday in 1998 and put him straight in the side to play Birmingham at home the next day. Oxford lost 7-1 and Salmon never played for the club again.
Glen Keeley - Everton
Another one-hit wonder. Arrived at Goodison Park on loan from Blackburn and debuted in the Merseyside derby, in 1982 back when Liverpool were good. He was sent off in the first half, Liverpool won 5-1 and the loan was swiftly terminated.
Roy Keane - Celtic
Following Keane's much-ballyhooed move from Manchester United to Celtic in 2005, he was handed what was meant to be an easy debut in the cup against Clyde. The Bhoys lost 2-1, and Keano decided management might be his thing instead.
Curtis Davies - Aston Villa
Nobody would remember Davies's Villa debut, a 1-0 home defeat to Leicester in the Carling Cup last September, had he not described his performance as worthy of "a pub player" in the aftermath. The moral: brutal honesty gets you nowhere.
Lionel Messi - Argentina
It is strangely apt that the man billed as the new Diego Maradona would be sent off for elbowing an opponent 40 seconds into his international debut (against Hungary in 2005). Nice to know even the best player in the world can have the occasional shocker.
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Two games into the season seems like as good a time as any to start ruling teams out of title contention.
The consensus, following their defeat at Fulham on Saturday, is that Arsenal cannot possibly win the league.
Even now, with 36 games still to play, three points behind Chelsea represents an insurmountable margin for Arsene Wenger's beleaguered troops to overcome.
Early Doors fancies they'll have every chance of getting back into contention now they have got rid of Hoyte.
QUOTES OF THE WEEKEND: Roy Keane: "We won't be dancing in the streets in Sunderland for beating Tottenham away from home, we'll have a cup of tea and sandwich as normal." Are victories at White Hart Lane that easy to come by? Well, yes. And what is it with Keano and sandwiches?
Spurs' Jonathan Woodgate responded to the reverse in equally matter-of-fact style: "What because we've lost a couple of games it's Berba's [Dimitar Berbatov's] fault? No, that's a load of bull. We've lost the two games because we haven't played well. It's got nothing to do with him."
OLYMPIAN OF THE WEEKEND: It could only be taekwondo ace Angel Valodia Matos, who responded to his disqualification in Saturday's heavyweight bronze medal bout by kicking the referee in the face. The Olympic sprit is alive and well. Click here to see pictures of an angry man kicking officialdom right in the mush.
FOREIGN VIEW: "Heroic Madrid" - AS celebrates Real Madrid's Super Cup victory over Valencia despite Rafael van der Vaart doing his best to get included on the list above by getting sent off on his debut.
TALKING POINT: What is the worst debut you have ever seen?
COMING UP: Manchester United need a win at Portsmouth or their title challenge is pretty much dead. Follow it LIVE from 8pm.