Droylsden and Chesterfield
will have to play their FA Cup second round match for a fourth time after last
night's replay was abandoned because
of floodlight failure.
The first fixture was cut short by fog while the Conference
North side were leading, before the rescheduled match ended in a draw. Then the
lights mysteriously went out yesterday evening.
Such occurrences have happened in the past, with claims of involvement by betting sydicates and gangsters, and ED thinks that is exactly what has happened this time.
You see, Droylsden are known as the Bloods. So it is both logical and painfully obvious for ED to suspect foul play on the part of the Crips, with rap gangstas Snoop Dogg,
Warren G and Ice Cube conspiring to ensure the tie is never settled and
Droylsden's bid for promotion is
All these rescheduled games hark back to the good old days
when there were no penalty shoot-outs and you just had to keep playing until
The longest tie in FA Cup history was a preliminary round
encounter between Alvechurch and Oxford
City, with the West
Midlands side eventually going through at the sixth time of
asking, 2-2, 1-1, 1-1, 0-0, 0-0 and
ED's favourite cup tie was the 1991 epic between Arsenal
and Leeds in which the sides cancelled each
other out so perfectly that the entirety of four matches was played out within
the centre circle. It went a third replay before the Gunners finally prevailed.
That 0-0, 1-1, 0-0,
was still more interesting than tonight's
UEFA Cup match between Portsmouth
match has not yet been played and might yet turn out to be a 5-4 goalfest - but
only if David Nugent regains the form that helped him to a 100 per cent scoring
record for England.
One from one.
From half a yard out.
- - -
Look out Maurizio
Zamparini, there's a new contender
Palermo supremo Zamparini has
long been Italy's most bonkers club
president, calling his players "little girls", threatening to
"kick their arses", describing Adrian Mutu as a "crafty little
gypsy", saying he had no interest in the "damned UEFA Cup" and
working his way through 26 coaches during his time at the club.
Needless to say,
Early Doors loves him.
But he faces
competition from the increasingly out-of-control Napoli
president, film producer Aurelio De Laurentiis.
Laurentiis recently guaranteed himself a right kicking if he ever shows his
face in Croydon on a Saturday night by slagging off English women in an attempt
to stop star players like Ezequiel Lavezzi leaving for the Premier League.
He said: "We made these
players - two years ago nobody knew who they were.
"If they want to go to England then in
the end they're going to go, but
they need to understand this: the English live badly, eat badly and their women
do not wash their genitalia. To them, a bidet is a mystery."
British women do not know what a bidet is, and think it is something that comes
round once a year.
And those who do
know what they are see them even more rarely than that.
of uncleanliness carry the rotten stench of overflowing bins when they come
This was the
city, you may remember, that saw refuse go uncollected for weeks on end in summer 2007
and then again at Christmas.
At one point,
residents started using Mount Vesuvius as an
impromptu dump, while mass blood tests were carried out over fears that the
festering rubbish would poison water and lead to Dickensian diseases like
typhoid and cholera.
Having a bidet is one thing. Making sure that raw effluence
isn't flowing out of it is quite
sticking the boot into Napoli, a reminder that the club also has some of the
most notorious hooligans in Italy.
Earlier this season, fans on the way to Rome boarded a train without tickets, 'occupied'
it and then smashed it up when it wouldn't
leave the platform.
Although Early Doors has to say this video of the fans who
made it to Rome
parading through the station is really quite impressive.
- - -
QUOTE OF THE DAY: "I hate to name drop, but I was having a drink with Gerrard on
Saturday and we talked about [Robbie] Keane. They share the same agent and quite honestly he thinks something is going to happen with Keane in
January. Sounds like he could be moved on." Brilliantly indiscreet stuff
from Mark Lawrenson. Early Doors is starting to regret telling Lawro about its
secret life in the cast of Mamma Mia!
FOREIGN VIEW: Hard news in every sense from Bild: "Cristiano Ronaldo's new girlfriend dreams of sex on an aeroplane. Letizia
Filippi said: 'I have enormous
desire to do it on a private jet. Just the two of us, alone above the clouds.
That would be so romantic.'" So who's driving the plane, then?
COMING UP: Early Doors isn't
even going to try and tempt you into following tonight's
UEFA Cup dead rubbers, except to say they're
not on the telly (and with good cause). You're
better off following our live snooker coverage, which is strangely compelling
in text commentary form.