Early Doors doesn't often dabble in the world of exclusives - at least not since that whole Hitler Diaries debacle when it was a junior staffer on the Sunday Times - but it has had a tip-off about a potentially shocking call-up for England's Euro 2012 squad.
Following Monday evening's genuinely disheartening news that Darren Bent has been all but ruled out of the tournament due to ankle ligament damage, ED has learned that England's anointed one - Harry Redknapp - is ready to take emergency action to address a growing striker crisis should he land the job, as is widely expected, and indeed demanded by the press, public and players alike.
With Wayne Rooney suspended for the opening two games of England's campaign, and Bent now likely to be unable to travel to Poland and Ukraine, the national side are, to borrow a familiar phrase, down to the bare bones when it comes to attacking options.
The three men left standing for Wednesday's friendly against Netherlands have only four caps between them: Danny Welbeck and Daniel Sturridge have enjoyed cameo appearances as substitutes, while Fraizer Campbell is yet to appear for his country. None have scored an international goal. With Jermain Defoe, Bobby Zamora and Peter Crouch all left out by Stuart Pearce, England are left with a horribly inexperienced attack with which to take on one of Europe's finest sides.
By contrast, Netherlands boast Robin van Persie, Klaas-Jan Huntelaar and Dirk Kuyt, who have a cumulative 79 international goals in 194 caps. The difference is more a chasm than a gulf, and it is becoming rapidly apparent that England risk approaching Euro 2012 with an untried and untested attack.
So, with so few options available to the likely boss, ED has been informed that Sandra Redknapp has been placed on stand-by for the tournament in Poland and Ukraine. After all, 'Arry did once claim his missus was a better finisher than Bent back in 2009. She must be a shoo-in at this stage. Well, her or Francis Jeffers anyway.
In all seriousness, Bent's injury is a real blow to England's aspirations. The Villa striker had started to become a real international force under Fabio Capello, with his performance away at Wales last March particularly important in establishing him in the England squad.
It was almost certain that Bent would have lead the line for England's two games against France and Sweden in Rooney's absence and, if he does indeed fail to make the squad, it will represent a particularly galling personal development for a player controversially overlooked for both the 2006 and 2010 World Cup squads despite his prolific form in the Premier League.
Certainly the early prognosis from Aston Villa is not promising.
A club statement read: "Darren Bent has undergone scans and he has seen a top ankle specialist this afternoon (Monday) in London.
"He faces up to 12 weeks on the sidelines having ruptured ankle ligaments in his left foot in the game against Wigan and he is unlikely to play again this season.
"Dr Ian McGuinness and the Villa medical staff have been liaising with the England medical team about the extent of his injury.
"Darren will undergo a further examination in seven days to determine the need for an operation."
With Villa currently eight points clear of relegation - and Bent having scored nine of their 29 league goals this season - the impact this injury could have on Alex McLeish's squad may well be very serious indeed. Their top scorer - and just about the only player in a Villa shirt who gets within 30 yards of the opposition goal these days - has made a habit of snatching vital points for a side currently bereft of any imagination or creativity.
But it is into a wider context that Bent's blow has been placed due to the damaging impact it may well have on England.
Bent was the country's joint top scorer in qualifying with three goals, along with Rooney, Defoe and Ashley Young, and losing him only highlights the paucity of options that England have in the position in recent years. Fabio Capello highlighted as much when calling up Jay Bothroyd and Kevin Davies during his ultimately ill-fated reign, while it says much about Andy Carroll's malaise that there is no campaign to call-up the eighth most expensive player in the history of football.
ED can remember a time, not so, so long ago, when England had decent strikers. Recline, close those eyes and start humming Mark Morrison's Return of the Mack and you will be magically transported back to a golden age when England took Alan Shearer, Teddy Sheringham, Les Ferdinand and Robbie Fowler to Euro 96. Ian Wright and Andy Cole couldn't even get a game.
Gone are those halcyon days: Mr Morrison criminally hasn't had a hit single this millennium, while of those aforementioned six only Fowler is still playing. Well, if you consider waiting for West Bengal's new Premier Soccer League to finally launch as playing, which ED doesn't.
With Fowler unlikely to earn a recall at this stage, ED has a solution: Sir Alf Ramsey's World Cup winners were named the Wingless Wonders, so perhaps England should try and create the Strikerless Sensations. Roma famously prospered with a 4-6-0 formation under Luciano Spalletti, though Craig Levein's Scotland were rather less successful with their own take on the strategy.
It would require quite the tactical brain to pull it off though. Oh well, Crouchy or Sandra it is then.
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QUOTE OF THE DAY: "I think I have felt the confidence from Abramovich but ...the pattern of behaviour of the owner has led to a downfall (of coaches) in similar situations or even 'better' situations. What will be the reaction? It will be one of the two, a continuation of the project and full support or just the cultural pattern that has happened before. We don't know." - Andre Villas-Boas lets loose on Portuguese radio as he makes no bones about the fact that Chelsea have been too trigger-happy with their coaches down the years.
FOREIGN VIEW: "He has said things which it would have been better to avoid and is not a good example for the youngsters. Everyone has the right to his opinion but you have to be careful given that youngsters follow the examples of champions." Marcello, Nicchi, head of the national referee association in Italy, points the finger at Gianluigi Buffon after the Juventus goalkeeper admitted he "would not have helped the referee" had he spotted that Sulley Muntari's shot had crossed the line in a stormy Serie A tie between Juventus and Milan at the weekend.
COMING UP: Hot or Not picks out the funny and plain bizarre from the weekend's Premier League action, while the latest edition of the Euro Club Index reveals which sides are, well, hot or not on the continent. The Armchair Pundit and Rafa Benitez both file columns today while we have a bit of bonus international action with Brazil taking on Bosnia in Switzerland at 7pm.
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