From the moment that evolutionary happenstance first endowed mankind with intelligent self-awareness, the human animal has worked unceasingly to unravel the mysteries of the universe.
And, following aeons of tireless endeavour in the field of science, we have now reached a state of progress in which we can be proud that our species has flown to the moon, invented the iPod and canonised Jade Goody.
Yet there are some questions out there which are still outside the grasp of even our most distinguished physicists, philosophers and gossip columnists:
Which is better: smooth or crunchy?
Connery, Brosnan or Craig?
And, perhaps most confusingly of all, what does it say about the state of English football when the squad for a crucial World Cup qualifier includes a striker who never scores, a tough-tackling defender with a knee made from finest lead crystal, a goalkeeper who struggles to get a spot on the bench for his side and a midfielder who has spent the majority of the last two years working as a glorified underwear model?
Not that ED is criticising Fabio Capello's decision-making skills - and there's three reasons why not.
First, the Italian's string of good results (at least in the games that actually matter) has earned him the right to select a midfield drawn entirely from the cast of Last of the Summer Wine if he so chooses (perhaps also choosing Allo Allo's René up front as a lone striker and Bagpuss in goal).
Second, ED pondered for an hour or two thinking that surely there must have been a better fit, English striker out there than Carlton Cole - but only got as far as Kevin Davies. And if Davies had got the nod, ED would probably have pondered the same question and come up with Carlton Cole as the obvious alternative.
Third, and finally, Capello looks decidedly tough enough that ED would not want to get in to a fight with him. So whatever the big man says, goes.
Manchester City have come up with a novel way of packing the fans in for UEFA cup matches: they've slashed ticket prices down to just a fiver a pop, or a pound each for kids.
It's a truly superb idea - once people have got in for not much more than the bus fare to the stadium, they're bound to boost on-the-night profits by loading up on programmes, scarves, and meat pies of dubious origin - plus full houses might just help inspire a few big performances from Mark Hughes's men.
It got ED to thinking, however: why bother charging a fiver? Why not just let everyone in for free? Such is the wealth of Sheikh Mansour that surely he could afford it? And not just once, but surely he could do the same for every single home game?
And that, in turn, lead ED to do a few sums. City's average league gate this season is 46,000. Multiply that by a dampened-finger-in-the-air average of £30 a ticket (taking in to account a balance of season ticket holders, kids tickets and so on) and you have roughly £1.38 million in ticket revenue per match.
With Mansour's family wealth estimated at £425 billion, he could bankroll free seats for all for just under 308,000 matches.
And that means, with 19 home games a season plus an estimated eleven or so assorted home cup matches, he could afford to offer free tickets to Eastlands for a quite fantabulous 10,267 years.
He really is quite rich indeed.
QUOTE OF THE DAY: "I just stood my ground, and as the cameras show I turned my shoulders to show that I didn't make contact - he is the one who ran in and made contact with me." Good to see that Aston Villa goalkeeper Brad Friedel has been in England long enough to have been inspired by an exciting Six Nations campaign, and has even picked up the oldest, dirtiest rugby trick in the book. Quick tip for our American friend: if you're really trying to get out of the way of someone, you usually don't shoulder-barge them in the goolies.
FOREIGN VIEW: If you think Gareth Southgate is getting stick at Middlesbrough, consider the plight of former France manager Henri Michel, until yesterday manager of the Mamelodi Sundowns in the South African league. After a series of poor results the club's fans were not happy, and when the side were knocked out of the South African Cup by lowly Platinum Stars, the mob turned angry and surged on the hapless Frenchman, who had to be escorted from the ground by riot police.
Even more extraordinary than the events themselves was the club's wonderfully-understated press release: "A gentleman's agreement was concluded with Henri Michel in terms of which his services as head coach will come to an end."
COMING UP: After floodlight failure robbed the world of witnessing Dagenham & Redbridge against Brentford last night - in no way was the outage perpetrated by worried Sky Sports executives - there's a feast of League One and League Two action tonight. You can follow live scoring right here.