For one day only, Early Boers is not so early. The cultural village it is staying in outside Johannesburg is a painstakingly recreated tribal settlement, although the satellite dish hidden behind EB's mud hut is perhaps not a strictly authentic piece of Zulu culture.
One thing that is authentic, however, is the lack of internet on site, hence the late delivery today.
Anyway - there are a few certainties surrounding today's World Cup final, even if the result between Spain and Netherlands is not set in stone.
Shakira will 'waka waka' her way through the 'official World Cup song' (R Kelly's Sound of a Victory is the 'official World Cup anthem') at the closing ceremony at Soccer City. Jeremy Clarkson will wear a t-shirt bearing the slogan "I'm not watching Top Gear either". And, most significantly, we will have a new nation joining the pantheon of world champions.
But who is more deserving of lifting football's greatest prize? A look back through the annals of the World Cup tells us it is the Netherlands' time to shine, but the current reality is that Spain should play their way to victory.
Historically, the Netherlands have the edge. Despite a much smaller population than most the other powerhouses of the world game, the Dutch have consistently punched above their weight.
The mid-1970s vintage of Cruyff, Neeskens et al left an indelible mark on World Cup history by bringing Ajax's Total Football to the world stage. It could be argued that reaching two consecutive finals is a greater achievement than winning the competition once, in your only final on home turf, as England did.
Spain on the other hand, had never made it as far as the last four before. It's hard to believe, seeing as they have now resumed their rightful place as the number one team in the world, that defeat tonight will see their World Cup record remain inferior to those of Sweden and Czechoslovakia.
These days, though, La Furia Roja are reigning European champions. Euro 2008 was always destined to be their tournament, and they broke free of their 40-year old reputation as perennial under-achievers in dominant fashion.
Holland, meanwhile, are still plagued by a habit of falling short despite all the talent at their disposal over the years. If they win today, that monkey will be firmly off their backs forever. If they lose, it will double in size, weighing them down with the undisputed tag of football's greatest losers.
Both sides had a 100 per cent record in qualifying, and have won all but one of their games in South Africa between them. Whoever wins this evening will be deserved world champions.
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We may have to wait until tonight for the destination of the World Cup to be decided, and one trophy has already been handed out.
The FIFA Football for Hope festival took place over six days in the township of Alexandra near Johannesburg, with 32 young teams from countries as diverse as Chile and Cambodia taking part in order to raise awareness of issues affecting their respective homelands.
This being a FIFA event, the concept of fair play in the five-a-side tournament which did not have any referees was constantly trumpeted. They must have been delighted when, in the final, the two teams huddled together to deliberate whether or not the ball had crossed the line in one particular incident.
The event's closing ceremony featured long speeches and the handing out of what felt like a thousand different medals, all to the soundtrack of the FIFA anthem, which sounds a little too much like the Police Academy theme tune for comfort, played on a loop.
Despite all that, the locals in the crowd were singing, chanting and vuvuzelaing throughout, celebrating yet another success story from this World Cup. How often do the world's media, and a band of international travellers that included a joint-Israeli and Palestinian team, descend upon a remote township such as Alexandra, boosting not only the local economy but also the spirits of the people who live there?
It may read like a happy clappy piece of FIFA propaganda, but it really was an inspiring sight.
A few days ago, Early Boers took a trip into Soweto to see how much the tournament has reached those in the poorest parts of the country.
Regardless of the footballing implications of tonight's final, the World Cup has already had a big impact.
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BOERMY ARMY TWEET OF THE DAY: "@EarlyBoers Great sign at Goodison between matches. 'Grass is grown by the inch, and ruined by the foot'. Actually its not that great is it." - AndyLycett's response to EB's admiration of the Soccer City turf on its pitchside walk yesterday.
COMING UP: 'Ke Nako' - it's time. The World Cup final is almost upon us. Before tucking into our live text commentary of Netherlands v Spain (19:30), there is plenty of big match build-up, including five things to watch in the final, Xavi's thoughts on the final and the World Cup Paper Round.
There's the Armchair Pundit with his own take on last night's action and what lies ahead, plenty of analysis from our select squad of experts and the steady drip feed of all the latest events from the World Cup news ticker.