Jupp Heynckes is not only a good manager, he is a good mover. That much was obvious when the Bayern Munich coach decided to hit the dance floor of London’s Grosvenor hotel only hours after his side claimed the Champions League trophy with a 2-1 win over Borussia Dortumund at Wembley Stadium last month.
Sliding a few Bavarian beers down their necks, Bayern's post-match celebrations passed off peacefully, but imagine they hadn't? Imagine if it all got too much for some of the beaten party and the Dortmund defender Mats Hummels washed up at the Bayern bash looking to banjo Arjen Robben for giving him the slip at his side's winning goal?
There would have been hell to pay, widespread condemnation and Hummels probably finding himself up in court charged with common assault.
That is of course an outlandish set of circumstances, but no more ridiculous than an Australian Test cricketer thumping an English opponent at one of those stinking Walkabout Aussie theme pubs in Birmingham.
The reaction to the burly David Warner’s attack on fellow batsman Joe Root prompted some dismay yesterday, especially among those who cherish the baggy green of Australian cricket, but not half as much hyperbole if they were footballers. Contemplate the scene if Mark 'Bozza' Bosnich had got up, close and personal with Les Ferdinand at a local Walkie back in the day?
For some reason, professional footballers behaving badly continue to be held up as some of moral compass about how there is a general decay in society, lack of decorum, a dumbing down and dwindling standards relating to how human beings treat each other.
In other sports such as cricket and rugby union, where the participants and spectators, generally attract a lesser earthy and more niche middle class crowd, some may say a smattering of snobs, old money and the nouveau riche, drunken antics are viewed as a touch of high jinks.
Australian batsman Warner, a figure boasting more mental baggage than the former Aussie opener David Boon who sank 52 coldies on a plane ride between England and Oz, attacked the diminutive Yorkshiremen Root apparently because he was wearing a wig of some Aussie variety at this Walkabout.
He should probably be thankful it wasn't Merv Hughes taking umbrage. Boonie would have been too busy enjoying a big cold beer.
It is just not cricket, but Warner finding himself lost in a mist of machismo has been greeted with some amusement among certain onlookers. Fuelled by the heady delights of vodka and jagerbombs, Warner apparently caught his victim with a glancing blow uprooting Root, who was sent spinning across the floor, but recovered within seconds. Not quite Ashes to Ashes.
Warner is not travelling well, as they like to ask you in Oz. He has been banned from the Australian team pending an investigation, but such unruly business will dissipate quicker in the minds of the public because it is not football.
The former England all-rounder and Jacamo poster boy Andrew 'Freddie' Flintoff had his say yesterday on that toxic brand known as Twitter.
"With the bat @davidwarner31 will try and hit anything when it comes to people he just goes for the smallest!," tweeted Flintoff.
"I think the only punishment fitting for @davidwarner31 is to make him play in the ashes ! Banning him is letting him off #5-0"
This all very amusing coming from Flintoff whose solitary dalliance with professional boxing came in beating a stiff with less movement than a scarecrow. It should not disguise the fact that one bloke punched another bloke in a public place for no apparent reason. Football would never be allowed to shrug off such a corrosive business so light heartedly.
Flintoff became a national hero for his willingness to embrace the Great British drinking culture after England won the Ashes in 2005.
‘Freddie’ was spotted sipping a gin and tonic 12 hours after the fifth Test match had finished at the Oval coming on the back of a £34,000 team bar tab racked up at some nightclub in London's Soho area.
To cut a long story shorter, Flintoff was drunk when he staggered off a bus to do an interview with national television. He was inebriated when visiting the then Prime Minister Tony Blair at 10 Downing Street. It has been suggested Flintoff was so goosed he urinated in a bush and vomited during this bender to visit Blair.
Imagine if John Terry or Ashley Cole indulged in similar behaviour if celebrating a similar success with Chelsea or England? Better still, what if Terry had encountered his old chum Wayne Bridge after several snakebites in his local Walkie?
In Terry’s case, the public would want him behind bars. Many still do. But Flintoff was rewarded with an MBE at Buckingham Palace. One rule for one sport, another rule for another.
Who remembers Mike Tindall, husband to the Queen's grand-daughter Zara Phillips, being banned and fined £25,000 for his drunken misconduct during England’s forgettable efforts at the Rugby Union World Cup in New Zealand 18 months ago? What is a spot of midget-throwing among friends?
Cricket and rugby fans love to get drunk and a bit rowdy, but most football supporters doing likewise strike the fear of God into unsuspecting people on street.
Despite this unique attitude, football supporters expect a bit more from their club’s players. In this day and age, when the very top players are luxuriating in vast riches, supporters have to unearth sizable sums to attend Premier League matches.
There is a financial and emotional investment that supporters take personally. Footballers are expected to be whiter than white. When they fall from a pedestal that never existed in the first place their descent into the gutter prompts false moral outrage among the public.
Why is that? Probably because football means more to the Great British public than any other sport out there.
For some warped reason, we feel that our football players somehow mirror the way people should be expected to behave. It is the national sport, a ticking pulse that bonds together communities. Unlike cricket or rugby union, rightly or wrong, attitudes towards footballers help to form core values in many of our lives.
What is viewed as high jinks in cricket or rugby, is seen as high treason in football. Time for that jagerbomb.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
"We learned about the action begun by the Spanish prosecutor through the media. It is something that surprises us because we have never committed any offence. We have always fulfilled all our tax obligations following the advice of our tax consultants, who will take care of clarifying this situation." Jorge Messi, father of Barcelona forward Lionel Messi, deny any wrongdoing after the Spanish tax authorities accused them of defrauding the state of more than four million euros (£3.4m),
Not much action in football, but we have continuing LIVE coverage of the rain-disrupted tennis from Queen's with Andy Murray (hopefully) on court while we will be deeply involved as the second golf Major of the season begins with the opening day of the US Open at Merion near Philadelphia. Here are our five to watch at Merion over the next four days.