You don't mess with Vladimir Romanov. Since taking over at Hearts in 2005 the Lithuanian got rid of more coaches than a failing bus firm.
George Burley, Graham Rix, Valdas Ivanauskas and Stevie Frail have all felt the metaphorical axe's steely blade slicing into the back of their neck.
The new manager has clearly decided he needs to follow another path, launching an amazing pre-emptive strike on Romanov - saying he needs to "change his attitude" and stop being so nice.
The comments come from Laszlo Csaba, who has had the job a shade over two weeks but maybe fears for his job after losing his first two pre-season friendlies.
Going off on a pedantic tangent, his name is not Csaba Laszlo as Early Doors has read with wearying frequency
Hungarians say names with their surname first, but the order gets reversed when you translate them to English.
To call him Csaba Laszlo would equate to saying Puskas Ferenc or Ramone Tommy (he was Hungarian - seriously)*
Anyway, onto what he actually said, which was this: "I have come to a club where I have met a lot of nice people. Now I would like to change this. I want people who are hungry for success.
"Mr Romanov has made a big mistake and the mistake is he has given these people a very nice life. And a lot of these people - not all - are lazy."
Under this new, tough, regime, expect some big changes.
Out will go chips, chocolate and fizzy drinks. Instead the players face a diet consisting purely of mung beans and lentils.
It is known as the Calum Best diet - you're allowed to go for anything with a pulse.
Fluorescent bibs and training tops will be replaced by military fatigues, while the club's training pitch will be turned into an assault course.
Anyone hoping to go on a mazy dribble must keep possession while scaling a 10ft wall and going down a rope slide.
And finally the players will be evicted from their million-pound mansions and made to live on site.
In an attempt to foster closeness, the entire senior squad must live in a small, poorly-ventilated room with no running water or beds - Csaba having noticed that Victorian slums often boasted great team spirit. And cholera.
*Anyone who speaks Hungarian is welcome to correct Doors Early on this point.
UPDATE: crow2277 indicates that ED has indeed stuffed the whole Hungarian name thing right up. Thanks for your phlegmatic approach to other people's linguistic idiocy.
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Some people who enjoy misleading generalisations define madness as doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting a different result.
If so, then football managers - specifically those with anything to do with Joey Barton - are, as a species, madder than a bag of snakes.
Take Newcastle boss Kevin Keegan, who said yesterday: "The world is littered with people that have been given a second chance and taken it with both hands."
He might have added: "And Joey Barton isn't one of them," but didn't.
Early Doors refers Keegan to the list of Barton-related stories on this website and suggests that, far from needing a second chance, the little scamp is already well into double figures.
Keegan is the fourth manager to pledge public faith in Barton's ability to turn things around after Stuart Pearce, Steve McClaren and Sam Allardyce.
Back in December 2006 Pearce waxed blinkered about the player's 'new-found maturity' - some time before he landed a bunch of fives on Ousmane Dabo or punched a man repeatedly in Liverpool city centre.
King Kev himself backed Barton in January, saying: "I've given my support to him before and he let me down; but he's got it again now."
Early Doors gives it six weeks between the door of Manchester prison slamming behind him and Barton landing himself in more hot water.
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QUOTE OF THE WEEKEND: "All the stuff we have been seeing of him, well, it's a load of rubbish. He's not a drinker for a start. There was a report he had been drinking vodka but I spoke to the person we have with him and he said it's rubbish. He is not drinking. It's absolute nonsense." Sir Alex Ferguson comes from Glasgow - he knows what people look like when they've been drinking vodka.
FOREIGN VIEW 1: Manchester United are preparing a £15m swoop for Thierry Henry. That makes it into Foreign View because the Daily Star is clearly on another planet.
FOREIGN VIEW 2: Equally preposterous in its own way is Catalan daily Sport's contention that Barcelona and Real Madrid will 'go to war' as they attempt to sign French child Karim Benzema. Apparently Real are so keen they have made two phone calls to the French champions.
TALKING POINT: Your under-rated players? Ledley King, Steed Malbranque, Frank Lampard, Ashley Young, Salomon Kalou, Habib Beye, Steve Finnan, Nemanja Vidic and Ricardo Carvalho, apparently.
Today - If you were a football manager, what regime would you impose to keep discipline?
FANTASY FOOTBALL: Haven't you joined up yet? Well, you really should. It's free, it's got a realistic transfer market, and you get to compete against Early Doors.