In the fallout from John Terry's slip and consequent break-down in the Champions League final, Frank Lampard claimed "Mr Chelsea" (let's call him Mr Chelsea-Terry from now on, it sounds quite posh) has nothing to be ashamed of and is really a "man's man" and not at all a sobbing big girl's blouse.
So does the same ring true for Dean Windass? Heading into Saturday's play-off final, the man who regularly evades guards at Hull Geriatric Centre to sneak out and play football was a shoe-in for the real man's real man lifetime achievement award.
Mr Chelsea-Terry may vaguely recall how to use a tin of Dubbin and a toothbrush from his time in the Stamford Bridge boot room, but he's never packed frozen peas in a Bird's Eye factory. Or carried a hod around a building site.
As a footballer, Windass harks back to a bygone era of the game, a glorious, golden age when Bentleys, Cristal and the term WAG meant nothing, unless referring to the local nightclub, a girl who lived round the corner with her hippy parents or the Workman's Action Group.
He possesses all the qualities of a real man - hard, loyal, ugly, slightly overweight and northern. In fact, he is pretty much everything the modern-day top flight footballer is not (expect the northern part - geography is no barrier to talent).
So what was that the television cameras picked up at the full-time whistle on Saturday? Surely not tears from the man with the bulldog face who was once famously shown three red cards in a single game?
Early Doors wonders what Andy McNab, The Sun's ultra-hard 'security advisor' would think of the weeping Windass. Last week, the ex-SAS silhouette slammed Terry for being a disgrace to mankind for shedding tears over such a trivial matter as a missed penalty kick.
"Football needs a kick up the butt," McNab ranted. "There's too much of this emotional stuff. You wouldn't find any of Terry's blubbing antics in the SAS".
ED fears tears of joy would be even worse than tears of pain in the non-moist eyes of a real hard man. Gulp.
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The power of foresight is a luxury that should never be taken for granted. ED knows this better than most as it is fortunate enough to own a crystal ball.
And as a special treat for those actually reading this on a Bank Holiday Monday, ED has agreed to once again gaze deeply into the globe and bring you exclusive news of some of this summer's top transfers before they happen.
Cristiano Ronaldo - The fight over the Portuguese winger breaks out into full scale war as Alex Ferguson and Real Madrid continue their petty squabbling throughout the summer months. There are pots and kettles abound before Ferguson finally snaps and announces to the world, via his mouthpiece the Manchester Evening News, that he will no longer be going on his holidays to Spain. Marca respond by calling for all Madrid residents to put an end to their holidays in Scotland. The Scottish tourism board are unconcerned. Ronaldo eventually goes to the Bernabeu for £173 million plus Robinho and Mahamadou Diarra, graciously hailing himself as "the best player ever to walk this earth".
Alexander Hleb - Having completely lost his ability to talk for himself, the want-away Arsenal star begins to conduct transfer talks carrying a ventriloquist's doll. The fact that the doll bears a striking resemblance to his agent does not go unnoticed as he gets his wish to live in a smaller city. Serie B side Ascoli are delighted with the capture of one of the best midfielders in the world.
Didier Drogba - The Ivorian finally gets his dream move to Milan before the start of next season, penning a £35 million deal at the San Siro. But two weeks into his Rossoneri career, alarm bells are set ringing when he tells France Football: "I want to leave Milan. Something is broken with Milan. Since the day I arrived, I wanted to leave Milan. Nothing can stop me from leaving now." He later denies ever making the comments, but the tone is set for his stay in Italy.
Javier Guerrero - Liverpool boss Rafa Benitez plucks the relatively unknown Spanish striker from the obscurity of Recreativo de Huelva's reserves as he continues his bid to colonise Merseyside entirely with Spanish-speakers. "I do not care if he can play football or not," Benitez doesn't say. "As long as he is at least as successful as Antonio Nunez and speaks my language, it will be money well spent".
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FOREIGN VIEW: "Mourinho mette fretta: Inter, oggi o mai piu". Jose Mourinho is an impatient man - Gazzetta dello Sport reckons the wannabe Inter boss has given a today-or-never ultimatum to Nerazzurri supremo Massimo Moratti.
QUOTE OF THE DAY: "It's so easy - that's the genius of it." Eastenders 'hardman' Grant Mitchell on the joys of Sky+. That's if the bloody thing works. Stockport boss Jim Gannon has been refusing to cooperate with Sky Sports ahead of today's League Two play-off final at Wembley because of a dispute over a defective Sky+ box. He's had problems with his personal video recorder for nine months, and is protesting against Sky's apparent inability to correct the problem.
TALKING POINT: Avram Grant: 'Baron Greenback' from Danger Mouse or 'The Undertaker'?
COMING UP: No matter that is a Bank Holiday, Eurosport's relentless worker drones will be as busy as ever today, with a European team of the season hitting the web around lunchtime. And of course, there'll be live text commentary on the League Two play-off final featuring Sky-rebel Jim Gannon's Stockport and Rochdale from 15:00 BST. Join us.
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