Nine red cards were shown in the weekend's 10 Premier League games - a record according to the accepted wisdom that football (and indeed human history) started in 1992.
The disciplinary debacle provoked outrage from the mid-market tabloids, with the Daily Mail describing Saturday as a "Halloween horror show" and a "day of shame".
Let's forget for a moment that there are as many sendings-off in the average Copa Libertadores game as an average Premier League weekend - do all those red cards really point to a breakdown in discipline?
Are our football pitches really turning into a microcosm of 'Broken Britain'? How long until a team releases an away kit with a hooded shirt and a flick knife holster attached to the sock?
Well, the Mail's own former ref Graham Poll went through the dismissals and rated two of the nine cards wrong and three harsh.
More importantly, all but two were shown not for fighting or dissent, but for run-of-the-mill fouls.
The two exceptions were Sunderland striker Kenwyne Jones's red for handbags with Herita Ilunga, and Birmingham midfielder Barry Ferguson's second yellow for trying to prevent a quick throw-in.
So in the grand scheme of things, it was hardly the Battle of Santiago to the power of 10.
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Last weekend's win against Manchester United was supposed to have bought Liverpool boss Rafa Benitez time, but in fact it was the equivalent of sticking an extra quid into the pay and display machine.
It provided 90 minutes of respite, but before he knew it a traffic warden had slapped a penalty notice to his windscreen and attached a clamp to his front wheels.
Defeat against Lyon on Wednesday will see Liverpool all but eliminated from the Champions League and - to labour a rubbish metaphor still further - the warden will be on the blower to a haulage company to get Rafa's motor towed out of Anfield.
After the relief of last weekend, it was almost inevitable that Liverpool would return to their bad old ways against Fulham, and the substitutions of Fernando Torres and Yossi Benayoun (again) were heartily booed by the visiting fans.
Yes, Liverpool's squad has been depleted by injuries, but Fulham suffered two of their own on Saturday and the two subs - Zoltan Gera and Erik Nevland - combined to make a match-winning contribution.
Bizarre as it sounds, Fulham's bench was far stronger than Liverpool's, and Benitez's side looked completely clueless without Torres.
This reliance has sucked Benitez into a vicious circle that means the striker is never fully fit.
Each game is so important at the moment that Torres simply has to play - but he can only do an hour, and he never gets a chance to get back to 100 per cent sharpness.
Benitez was criticised for taking Torres off after 63 minutes against Fulham, but that hour has now made the striker doubtful for Wednesday's game against Lyon.
That is a must-win, so Torres is bound to play. He'll probably score, then have to come off. Then he'll be a doubt for next Monday's must-win Premier League game against Birmingham City.
Of course the problem is not Benitez's over- or under-use of Torres, but that Liverpool only have one striker.*
One thing is certain, however: Benitez will do everything in his power to prevent Torres taking part in Spain's forthcoming friendlies against Argentina and Austria.
*Not strictly true, actually. With his record of two goals in 40 minutes, David Ngog is the most lethal striker in the Premier League. Yet another reason not to trust statistics.
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Harry Redknapp was non too happy after Tottenham's 3-0 defeat to Arsenal at the Emirates.
Not because his team had been thoroughly outclassed, but because a nasty man in the crowd used a swear word.
Redknapp said: "He was swearing and there were little kids standing there. I don't understand why people do that. I just asked if he could behave himself and act like a proper human being."
The Spurs boss has previously had a go at Aston Villa fans who taunted him, saying: "I never swore in front of my kids in my life."
Which may well be true. After all, it was not Redknapp's son Jamie but Ray Wilkins and Paul Merson in the SKy Sports studio in 2007 when Redknapp effed and blinded to Jeff Shreeves at the start of a post-match interview (language alert).
Nor was Jamie in the Portsmouth squad when his dad failed to see the funny side after being hit with a ball on the training ground while doing a TV interview (language alert again - "You were aiming for the goal and you hit me? No wonder he's in the f***ing reserves.")
And there were no minors present at Saturday's post-match press conference when, having just complained about swearing, Redknapp gave this reaction to a question about Robbie Keane's claim that Spurs have a better squad than Arsenal:
"You know what you f**king press guys are like. He probably said we have a stronger squad than last year or something like that."
ED doesn't have a problem with a 62-year-old football manager using the odd bit of colourful language, but it reckons he should probably cut out the moralising.
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QUOTE OF THE WEEKEND: "I am an honest person, I know that I'm not as good as I was. I don't play as freely but I'm lucky to still be playing." Refreshingly self-aware stuff from Alan Smith, who might have cared to share this information with Newcastle before they spent £6 million on him in 2007.
FOREIGN VIEW: Bulgarian club CSKA Sofia have suspended nine players for an unspecified period.
The club did not say why the players were suspended but the bans followed reports some players had been spotted drinking at nightclubs in the past fortnight.
CSKA coach Luboslav Penev announced the bans at the club's training ground in Pancharevo several hours after the 2-0 away loss to Litex Lovech - their second consecutive league defeat.
The nine suspended players were Bulgarian internationals Ivan Karadzhov, Ivan Ivanov, Kiril Kotev, Pavel Vidanov and midfielder Yordan Todorov as well as Brazilian Marquinhos, Portugal's David Silva, Todor Timonov and Svetoslav Petrov.