Yesterday, this website booted up its transfer-loving cyborg, Eurobot, for two months of live chat.
Well, not entirely about transfers. There's also stuff about Angela Merkel, famous Jimmys and, above all, whether or not Eurobot is actually a robot.
The reason for all this extraneous guff is simple - there are not enough actual transfers to fill 10 hours of live chat every day.
So the rest of the time has to be spent shooting the breeze or making up entirely ficticious rumours about Frank Lampard being spotted buying a battered sausage outside Tannadice.
Still, it doesn't deter the die-hard transfer junkies, some of whom have sat on our ticker since 2007 patiently typing "Has Sneijder signed for Manchester United yet?" every five minutes.
It's still a no.
Users demanding news on a specific transfer have always puzzled ED. Take the Sneijder 'move' - not only is the transfer of Wesley Sneijder to Manchester United extremely unlikely, if he actually did sign, you could be fairly confident of hearing about it.
Yesterday, Eurobot was deluged with requests for information about Hulk and his apparently imminent move to Chelsea.
On one hand, you can forgive Chelsea fans a bit of excitement about a prospective big name signing.
On the other, this is a team not six weeks removed from the greatest moment in their history, and who have already spent a colossal sum on one of the best young players in the world this summer.
And yet the fans want more, more, more.
There exists among fans an insatiable appetite for player acquisition.
It is the impulse that has made the Football Manager series so popular - a game that makes grown men (And women? Nah, just men) quiver with virtual excitement as they persuade David Prutton to sign for Port Vale.
Every fan thinks their club 'belong' in the top flight, that they are just a couple of shrewd moves from silverware.
And let's face it, the life of most fans is fairly unhappy, as their team shambles along from one crisis to the next.
If they did not believe there was better to come, they would not put up with their present, miserable existence.
No wonder they call it a religion.
Anyway, this transfer fetish sees fans clamour for players to be collected and hoarded, with no real idea how they will be used.
It's like a more expensive version of Farmville. You're buying things (whether virtual cows or centre-backs) and you're addicted to it. But when pressed as to the point of it all, you struggle to come up with an adequate response.
Take the curious tale of Hugo Lloris.
Over the weekend, the respectable Telefoot programme, on which Arsene Wenger sometimes works, claimed Arsenal are about to sign him from Lyon.
Telefoot cited Lyon's need to balance the books as the reason they would be willing to sell for around £12m.
Less clear is why Arsenal would want him - after all, they've got Wojciech Szczesny, who had an outstanding season last term.
No problem, said the Gooners on Twitter. We need a good keeper to back up Chesney. Can't risk Flappyhandski getting a game.
Let's leave aside, for a moment, how monumentally idiotic is the notion that THE FRANCE CAPTAIN would be willing to sit on the bench for Arsenal (or even that Szczesny would play second fiddle to Lloris).
What particularly amazed ED was that Arsenal fans seemed happy at the prospect of spending £12m on a player who would only play if their number one goalkeeper got injured.
If Arsenal signed Lloris and didn't sell Szczesny (which won't happen), it would improve the team only infinitesimally - but many fans approve of the idea simply because it involves spending money.
There is a certain cache in signing an expensive player, even if he spends the duration of his four-year contract sitting on Arsene Wenger's mantelpiece.
It reminds ED of Real Betis president Manuel Ruiz de Lopera, who agreed an £18m deal to sign Denilson in 1998.
Then he thought about it. The fee was close to the amount Inter paid Barcelona for Ronaldo. So why not tack on an extra £3m and make it a world record?
Thus Betis voluntarily paid more than the asking price, just for the thrill of spending a record amount.
ED has to go now, apparently Kaka is house-hunting on Teesside.
QUOTE OF THE DAY: "I've not spoken with him. I've spoken with every other player and said, 'Look, that is the requirement we look for'. David, being the ultimate professional that he is, I'd very much be surprised if he said he wouldn't want to be on that standby list." David Beckham: on the standby list for a GB squad featuring such luminaries as Craig Dawson and Jason Steele, according to Stuart Pearce.
FOREIGN VIEW: When Didier Deschamps left Marseille yesterday, it was considered only a matter of time before he was unveiled as the new coach of France.
However, reports last night claimed he had rejected the chance to lead Les Bleus into the 2014 World Cup.
The latest from our sister site eurosport.fr is that both Deschamps and the French FA want time to consider their options.
Odd, given the popular view that Deschamps-to-France was a fait accompli.
Nice to know it's not only England who make a horlicks of their appointments. There will be more this morning from French FA chief Noel Le Graet.
We've got the latest from Paul Parker, and Andy Mitten on Spain. Plus Tottenham are expected to appoint Andre Villas-Boas at some point today.