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    Early Doors

    Revenge? How un-English

    All eyes will be on Wembley tonight as England take on Croatia in their crucial World Cup qualifier.

    Except it's not actually that crucial for England, is it? Four points ahead of Croatia with a game in hand, they can afford to lose tonight and in Ukraine next month and still only have to beat Belarus at home to top the group.

    Come to think of it, all eyes won't be on Wembley either, what with Scotland and Northern Ireland both playing matches where the stakes are much higher.

    Still, at least the visit of Croatia offers the chance for revenge for the 3-2 defeat that denied England a place at Euro 2008 and shent Shteve McClaren in exile to the low countriesh.

    Ah, wait, no it won't. Not according to the England players anyway. At Monday's press conference, David Beckham led the platitudinous guff about how this was just another game, towing the official party line. Even John Terry claimed he is only focused on the win blah blah yackety schmackety.

    The Sun have tried their best to skew Terry's comments to the contrary, but the headline "JT so sweet on revenge" is a little at odds with the England skipper's actual quote: "No one is speaking about revenge."

    So it has been left up to the coaches to do the lion's share of the pre-match ribbing, and even they have come up short.

    Slaven Bilic has always had a talent for the incendiary, a skill he has been honing ever since he got Laurent Blanc sent off in a World Cup semi-final in 1998.

    However, his latest attempt to wind his opposition up - claiming that Fabio Capello has diluted the "Englishness" of his side - was a half-hearted final stab at some managerial mind games, and Capello has called his bluff.

    "Thank you Mr Bilic," Capello said. "It is the best. I have no need to motivate my players after this. It's fantastic assistance. He prepared the game. He tried to provoke a reaction. For me, thank you."

    Refusing to rise to the bait? Maintaining a dignified stiff upper lip? And Bilic says Capello lacks "Englishness".

    Cue much spluttering and back tracking from Bilic, claiming that his remarks were meant as a compliment to the Italian and his players.

    The game at Wembley may well be a good one, and England could well seal their place in South Africa next year.

    But if you want to see a spectacle that involves real jeopardy that everyone will be talking about around the proverbial water cooler tomorrow, then watch Derren Brown try and predict the lottery numbers after the match.  

    - - -

    A win tonight would see England remain on course for an impressive 100 per cent record in qualifying, having already notched up seven wins out of seven in Group Three.

    However, recent history does not look kindly on those who swagger into a World Cup after steamrollering their way through qualifying. Many a pre-tournament favourite has come a cropper once things get serious.

    In fact, you're more likely to triumph if your path to the finals was a treacherous one. Reigning world champions Italy arrived in Germany as group winners, but only after losing to Slovenia and drawing in Scotland along the way.

    Brazil reached the 2002 final after finishing an unconvincing third in the CONMEBOL standings, with defeats to Paraguay, Ecuador, Chile, Uruguay and Bolivia in qualifying, as well as Argentina, who romped their way to the top of the group but went home after three matches in Japan and Korea.

    Besides, it's an English tradition for the national team to qualify for a World Cup via something other than winning a match themselves, as this rather good bit of digging tells us.

    So if Croatia do a number on England tonight and Capello looks rather lost standing under a big umbrella, those are some spurious stats to take comfort from.

    - - -

    QUOTE OF THE DAY: "I have been to the townships in Cape Town.  I have looked into the eyes of these boys and I know what this opportunity means to them.  So to be accused of raping a country and exploiting the kids is a disgusting, cheap shot. I will not stand for it." - Ian Wright's angry reaction to claims from the head of the South African FA that his academy in Cape Town was exploiting young players.

    NON-FOOTBALL QUOTE: "For me it wasn't a problem. The guy was really nice. He was a great fan, he said I love you." - Rafael Nadal's reaction to a lust-crazed male fan who ran on to the Arthur Ashe court at the US Open and planted a smacker on his cheek is rather endearing. That was of course the biggest story to come out of Flushing Meadows yesterday - nothing else happened!

    FOREIGN VIEW: "Everything's changed. When I arrived (in Brazil in March) I was bad, unhappy, everyone knows about that. Today I'm very happy, very good. Today I'm here because I recovered my joy of playing. That's another turn in my life, another success." - Adriano tells of how he's suddenly all right again after leaving Inter for nothing and returning to Brazil. Jose Mourinho must be delighted for him.

    COMING UP: World Cup fever grips the nation tonight, and we'll have LIVE commentary of England v Croatia, Scotland v Netherlands, Northern Ireland v Slovakia and Wales v Russia, even if that last one doesn't really matter a great deal.

    But it's not all football, football, football you know - England's cricketers return to action for the third one-day international against Australia at the Rose Bowl this afternoon. You can follow LIVE over-by-over coverage here from 2pm.

    But wait - there's more! Stage 11 of the Vuelta a Espana also takes place today and it's a doozy - a 191km ride from Murcia to Caravaca de la Cruz. You can follow that LIVE too.

    Early Doors

    Early Doors began life as a daily vehicle for mocking Rafa Benitez - and as such represented something a prototype for the modern internet. It has now evolved into a must-read morning feature from our team of football writers. Serious or silly, penetrating or puerile, Early Doors has always got something to say on the big issues. And there's still a fair amount of Rafa mockery.

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