Yesterday afternoon, a
statement came through from Cristiano Ronaldo's
management company Gestifute saying in no uncertain terms that all of the supposed quotes
attributed to him in recent days were complete rubbish.
It read: "Given
the strident way that statements allegedly attributed to Cristiano Ronaldo have
been printed, particularly in the English media, Gestifute reiterates what it
recently stated: Cristiano Ronaldo has been silent since he went on holiday and
all statements (in which he is supposedly quoted) are totally false and
"The best player in the world - who is spending the off-season with his
family - has not, to date, given any interviews, nor will he in the next few
days. As a result, it can be restated here that any statements that are still
being attributed to him are devoid of truth and authenticity and must not be
let's break that little rant down a
"Silent since he went on
holiday" - Well, ED imagines it wasn't
Paris Hilton's conversational
abilities that attracted Ronaldo. And anyone would be rendered speechless by
the quite hideous pink burberry cap and lavender sleeveless top combo he was
pictured wearing yesterday.
the British press is mischievous, it tends not to simply invent quotes out of
thin air, especially those as widely reported as Ronaldo's
recent (non-)utterances. Yet, apparently, he never said: "After we won the
European Cup I thought there is no more I can achieve here," nor did he say:
"It's time to look
forward and 80 million is quite a sum of money. This deal is historic."
"...totally false and abusive" -
Steady on! Abusive? To whom? If ED wanted an abusive statement it would ask Joe
"The best player
in the world" - Enough about Leo Messi. Has Ronaldo said
"...who is spending the off-season with his family" - Since when was Miss Hilton, or indeed the entourage he had trailing round L.A.with him, family? Now that really would be a story.
"...nor will he
in the next few days." Well, within hours of Gestifute's seething denial, Ronaldo was widely quoted as
saying his departure was by mutual agreement, then (allegedly) told the
Portuguese press he had passed his medical with Real.
More false, abusive lies? ED remains to be convinced.
- - -
What's in a name? Manchester United
will be hoping not very much if there is any substance to reports in the Times
that they have identified the player to replace Cristiano Ronaldo at Old
Of all the glorious
names with which Brazilian football has provided us - Jairzinho, Garrincha, er,
Roque Junior - United have set their sights on a player who sounds like a bank
its brains to think up the most famous people called Douglas, Early Doors came up
with the following meagre selection: Former Tory cabinet minister Douglas Hurd,
sci-fi author Douglas Adams, Second World War fighter ace Douglas Bader and former
snooker world number five Doug Mountjoy.
You might think,
given that Brazilian players are basically allowed to choose their own name, he
would at least at a superfluous 'Ze', '-inho' or '-ao', but Douglas it
remains. The dullest Brazilian football name this side of Fluminense midfielder
Alan and Internacional striker Walter.
Real Madrid have just broken the bank to sign some bloke whose name is mud. And
the ever-so-chucklesome Kaka.
Has ED done
the name Douglas a disservice? Do you know any
famous or notable Dougs? If there are enough decent suggestions on the message
board we might even have a Douglas parade tomorrow.
- - -
of Newcastle United's cost-cutting
became apparent yesterday with the release of their new away kit, for which
they could only afford one colour of dye.
How else do
you explain this abomination, which must be the first strip in football history
to comprise of yellow-and-yellow stripes?
- - -
QUOTE OF THE DAY: "There is a lot said and written about me in
the last few weeks and not many nice things, but that's
life. I get used to it - people write you off but when I scored a goal in the
World Cup at 18, people were writing me off six months later. Then I was
scoring a hat-trick in Germany
and winning trophies with Liverpool and then
they write you off again. I'll come back. I'll play well and score goals once more. Everyone
will be quiet for six months and I'll
have two or three bad games then people will say, 'he's about to turn 30 and his legs have gone'. It's
not like I've murdered anyone. You've got to be thick-skinned."
It appears Michael Owen's
injury problems also stretch to the dermatological; Early Doors suggests some
of that E45 hand cream. But on the plus side, he hasn't
VIEW: Egypt have blamed their Confederations Cup exit on media
"lies" about their players consorting with prostitutes after beating
world champions Italy.
Head of mission Mahmoud Taher said that the team had been stunned by local
newspaper reports. He said the team, knocked out on Sunday after losing 3-0 to
the United States,
had in fact been robbed at their hotel.
"The players have been really subjected to terrible damage in Egypt and they
are in a very bad mood right now due to the false allegations that were
published in the newspapers here," he said.
Plus there's tennis, tennis, tennis from Wimbledon,
including the knee-trembling introduction to proceedings of Andy Murray.