They have one of the most exciting groups of players ever assembled.
They play football the right way, they try to score goals and never fail to entertain.
Their star player might just be the greatest footballer ever to draw breath.
They are owned by the fans, not some oil-rich sugar daddy or profit-obsessed tycoon.
They stand for something, they aren't just another of modern football's faceless machines.
So why does it feel so good when Barcelona get an absolute pasting, as they did so gloriously in the Allianz Arena?
Let's face facts. Football fans and Schadenfreude are best friends - a lot of the time, it's all we've got. But when Barça get tonked it just feels that little bit sweeter.
First of all, there is novelty value whenever a big team lose.
We're bored of Barcelona winning. They have made such an art of making the incredible look routine that... well, it looks routine. Lionel Messi scores in every game. We know this. The last time he failed to find the net in a Liga match was November 3, for pity's sake. That's 19 games. It's absurd. And in its own way it's a little bit boring.
So it becomes unfeasibly exciting to see him brought down to our level. To see him immediately tackled by two players whenever he gets on the ball, and end up scratching his head wondering how he can possibly influence the game.
Watching the world's greatest footballer morph into Michael Ricketts - it's really quite good fun.
But, other than the fact that they have been the best team for quite a while, it doesn't explain the extra little thrill when it's Barcelona.
For that, we can start by looking at their progress over the last 10 years.
When Barça came to the fore in the middle of the last decade it was really, genuinely exciting. Ronaldinho lifted a mid-table shambles back to prominence, and after Pep Guardiola took over they leapt to a level of unprecedented quality. Wonderful.
Then they started to believe their own hype. Such were the plaudits that they became convinced of their superiority - not just in scoring goals but also on a moral level.
When Barcelona took on Jose Mourinho's Inter in the 2010 semi-finals, they genuinely saw it as a battle of good versus evil. Which made Sergio Busquets's diving antics, immortalised in gif form, all the more risible.
More than anything, it is that moral dimension that makes Barcelona's failures so satisfying.
Football has its bogeymen. Serial trophy-hoarders disliked by everyone but their own fans - Manchester United, Real Madrid, Bayern Munich. This is what winners should look like.
Real Madrid don't care what you think. Barcelona want you to like them.
Real Madrid want to be the best. Barcelona want to be the best, and play the nicest football, and for everyone to give them a round of applause for it.
They are to football what Roger Federer is to tennis. He and his fans are so convinced he has the most beautiful game, they consider it an affront to the sport when Novak Djokovic grinds him down in five sets.
Of course, there is no morality in sporting aesthetics. Even if you reject the notion that you play the game to win, style is just a matter of taste. Some may like Stoke's long-ball tactics, others prefer tiki-taka. It's all football.
Barcelona's more distant past contributes further to this sense of uniqueness.
The club are intrinsically linked to Catalan nationalism. Under Franco's fascist regime, they became a rallying point, a potent symbol of opposition. Even today campaigners for Catalan independence operate outside the Camp Nou on match days.
There's nothing fake about any of that. It's totally sincere and it feeds into a strong feeling of being the underdog, the outsider. Unfortunately, it's also what gives Barça the gall to emblazon their seats with 'MES QUE UN CLUB' - more than a club.
And when Barcelona try to sell you an underdog story with their star-spangled squad, their massive sponsorship deals, and their 100,000-seater stadium with its megastore and their overwhelmingly middle-class clientele... well, you want to invite them to Spotland on a cold December evening and show them what the little guy really looks like.
For all it might pretend otherwise, football is a brutal, cut-throat business. You don't get to the top without leaving a trail of bodies behind you.
But Barcelona carry themselves with the smug self-satisfaction of team that have not so much climbed the greasy pole as floated up it on some divine calling.
And that's what makes it so especially pleasing when they get played off the park.
QUOTE OF THE DAY 1: Gerard Pique disproves the above diatribe with a frustratingly magnanimous response to Barcelona's defeat in Munich: "They gave us a thrashing. We will try to turn it around in the return leg and put in a good performance for the fans. They were better and faster than us. There is no point talking about the referee, there is no excuse."
QUOTE OF THE DAY 2: Just when you thought Liverpool has played the Suarez bite perfectly, here's this from The FA: "Luis Suarez has accepted a charge of violent conduct following an incident with Chelsea’s Branislav Ivanovic in Sunday’s fixture at Anfield. However, Suarez has denied The FA’s claim that the standard punishment of three matches is clearly insufficient for this offence."
COMING UP: Watch Early Doors remain completely impassive as Borussia Dortmund slam four past Real Madrid. Live coverage from 18:45 UK time with kick-off at 19:45.