No surprise to see two Manchester City players at the top of the list, with Emmanuel Adebayor (the week's biggest scorer with 23.5) and Adam Johnson featuring heavily in the 6-1 marmalisation of Burnley.
Arsenal might have taken 95 minutes to crack Wolves, but for sheer weight of crosses, shots and corners won, Tomas Rosicky, Theo Walcott and Bacary Sagna all crack the biggest risers.
The weirdest stat line of the week belongs to Heurelho Gomes, who conceded three goals in Spurs' defeat at Sunderland. However, the Brazilian made two penalty saves and five other stops to rake in 19.5 points and climb 1.77 in value to 14.22.
Emmanuel Adebayor (FW, Man City, 15.05) +3.64
Adam Johnson (MF, Man City, 10.50) +3.20
Manuel Da Costa (DF, West Ham, 9.14) +3.12
Boudewijn Zenden (MF, Sunderland, 8.05) +3.11
Jamie Ashdown (GK, Portsmouth, 7.38) +2.93
Tomas Rosicky (MF, Arsenal, 9.66) +2.67
Brede Hangeland (DF, Fulham, 10.08) +2.56
Theo Walcott (MF, Arsenal, 10.89) +2.51
Brad Friedel (GK, Aston Villa, 12.29) +2.47
Bacary Sagna (DF, Arsenal, 10.95) +2.05
The Fantasist harped on yesterday about what a miserable weekend it was for the Big Four, and this list reflects that misery.
Only Tottenham's Roman Pavlyuchenko breaks the three-way stranglehold of Manchester United (five players!), Chelsea and Liverpool, whose star man Fernando Torres suffered the ignominy of being substituted.
Oddly, the two biggest fallers were both United goalkeepers, as Tomas Kuszczak fell foul of some mathematical readjustment. Don't take it personally, Tomas, it wasn't you getting beaten in nochalant fashion by Joe Cole.
Tomas Kuszczak (GK, Man Utd, 5.82) -5.00
Edwin van der Sar (GK, Man Utd, 12.71) -4.11
Fernando Torres (FW, Liverpool, 19.35) -3.41
Dimitar Berbatov (FW, Man Utd, 14.23) -3.00
Jose Bosingwa (DF, Chelsea, 6.33) -2.99
Wayne Rooney (FW, Man Utd, 21.20) -2.77
Roman Pavlyuchenko (FW, Tottenham, 11.20) -2.67
Frank Lampard (MF, Chelsea, 22.96) -2.47
Nani (MF, Man Utd, 12.39) -2.21
Florent Malouda (MF, Chelsea, 15.80) -2.13