A colleague was at Anfield on Saturday and needed to make a quick getaway after the game. He explained his predicament to the car park attendant and asked if it might be possible for his motor to be left somewhere he wasn't blocked in.

"Right," said the bloke. "How soon before the final whistle are you looking to be gone? Five, ten or twenty?" You mean, asked my colleague, there are people who come to the match every week planning to be gone 20 minutes before the end? "Yeah, loads," came back the reply. "So where do you want to park?"

We have all experienced the early leaver, disturbing our

No one can accuse Stuart Pearce of lacking optimism. The England Under-21 coach was unveiled yesterday as manager of the GB Olympic football team and at his inaugural press conference he suggested he will have no problem in choosing exactly who he wants for his squad next August.

"The players will dictate their availability. I think they will be very, very excited and will dictate to their clubs whether they play or not," he said.

Good luck with that, Stu.

The Olympic football competition has never resonated in this country, largely because political in-fighting between the home FAs has,

When he was 17, Earl Barrett made his first appearance for Manchester City reserves, in an away game. So traumatised was he by what followed, he now cannot remember exactly where it was. But in those days, reserve games were played in the main stadium.

There were about 100 people watching the match, at least half of whom spent the 90 minutes shouting racist insults at Barrett. Every time he touched the ball, the stadium echoed to a chorus of monkey chants. And in case he didn't get the point, someone chucked a banana at him when he went near the touchline.

What he chills him most about the

Joey Barton is to irony what Miranda Hart is to pratfalls: the gift that keeps on giving.

Barton, you cannot fail but to be aware, has taken a shine to new media. So much so, he has waxed continuously on Twitter about how social media will pretty soon now make traditional newspaper reporting redundant. Why bother with received, distorted opinion when you can be delivered fact straight from the horse's mouth, is the gist of his oft-delivered argument. And it is an argument for which we can all have much sympathy. Albeit one undermined by the fact he is one of the guilty twits who forwarded

According to Sir Alex Ferguson, Michael Owen "isn't getting the games he deserves". If that's the case, then someone really ought to do something about that and pick him for a few. You know, like his manager.

Owen's briskly-taken brace at Elland Road last night achieved precisely what the player will have hoped: it put him back in the spotlight. Not because he likes the attention, but because he likes to be picked to play football matches and scoring goals on a rare outing is the best way to ensure he is picked again.

And we learned this much from last night's dismally one-sided mismatch:

Leonardo is clear what is required to take the Paris St Germain revolution to the next level. The Brazilian sporting director said this week that his target is a simple one: David Beckham. Never mind that he has been in semi-retirement for the past four years, never mind that he now moves across the turf marginally slower than Russell grant moves across a dance floor, Beckham's renown is worth the investment. In shirt sales alone, he is still the big one.

And the move has every chance of happening. Beckham has played in Madrid, Milan and Hollywood, Paris is a shopping opportunity the missus

Tonight the two Manchester clubs take to Europe safe in the knowledge they have in their ranks strikers currently on fire.

Every club in the Champions League will be envious of City and United lining up with Sergio Aguero and Wayne Rooney. Even Barcelona. The two have started the season not as if it were a marathon, but as if engaged with Usain Bolt in a gallop to break the world sprint record. It is enough to make the continent's wealthiest football investor turn dollar green with envy.

The intriguing thing the watching hordes will note is that in neither case was there any hint of a problem

There is to be a demonstration tomorrow at Goodison Park. Ahead of the game against Aston Villa a group called Blue Union is asking Everton supporters to join a march demanding the removal of the current board. Blue Union are hoping several thousand join in. Some Everton loyalists, however, suggest they will be lucky to hit three figures.

That there is a crisis at Goodison is undeniable. When the transfer window recently shut, Everton were the only Premier League club not to have made any purchases. With a squad in urgent need of input, and with their most creative talent - Mikel Arteta -