In Sweden they must barely be able to contain the laughter. In France, you imagine the footage of John Terry stumbling around the Anfield pitch like a drunk on a wedding dancefloor is playing on a continuous loop on Laurent Blanc's laptop.
Even Andrei Shevchenko and his Ukraine team-mates must have taken one look at the England squad and thought: well, there's a relief; at least with this lot around we won't be finishing bottom of the group in our own tournament.
Rarely can there have been a thinner, frailer, less impressive England squad than the one Roy Hodgson announced this lunchtime.
Conventional wisdom has it that to win an international competition, you need six world class players in your team. England may — if you stretch the definition of world class to its furthest tolerance - have two. So let's hope the physio's department have packed plenty of cotton wool to ensure Joe Hart and Ashley Cole make it to the opening game with France. Because without them, England's chances really do look bleak.
None of this is to blame Roy Hodgson. After the euphoria of being appointed, the moment the new England coach began to look at who was available to him must have come as a rapid reality check. Welcome to the real world, Roy. And for England it is not a happy prospect.
The fact is, with Jack Wilshere, Jack Rodwell, Kyle Walker, Darren Bent and Chris Smalling all out injured, Hodgson was faced less with a selection dilemma than a realisation that there really is nothing out there for him to choose from.
The cupboard is not so much bare as entirely stripped after a visitation by a swarm of locusts. There just aren't enough Englishmen of a high enough standard to choose from.
Take the goalkeepers. John Ruddy is hardly a left-field choice; with Ben Foster preferring to stay at home with his kids, Ruddy is the highest-placed eligible keeper in the Premier League available to be Hart's understudy. In short he chooses himself. And will doubtless be a worthy stand-in should — God forbid — Hart get injured.
At the back, John Terry comes with so much excess baggage it requires a specially chartered plane of its own to transport it. Those of a more sensitive disposition would undoubtedly have preferred to see him left at home to spend more time with his court case.
But Hodgson clearly took his predecessor's advice on that one. And Fabio Capello had an almost fetishistic faith in the Chelsea captain. He believed he was one of the few English players who didn't shrink in international duty, whose chest swelled rather than diminished on hearing the national anthem. He will have told Hodgson that the player's flint-eyed, granite-jawed self-belief was absolutely crucial to steer the side through.
So once Terry was in, Rio Ferdinand was out. Clearly the two could not share the same postcode, never mind the same dressing room. Apart from that, who else could have gone? Micah Richards, maybe. Phil Jagielka, perhaps. But the reality is, with so little alternative, it is hard to argue with the choices Hodgson made. Likewise in midfield.
Sure, Joe Cole is unlikely to play as badly even in his dotage as Stewart Downing has all season. And yes, it would have been intriguing had Hodgson managed to persuade Paul Scholes out of retirement. But apart from that, the manager picked who he could. And personally, I'm glad he chose Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain, if only because it might con the French into thinking there are lots more like him back home.
But it is up front where England's real lack of depth is revealed. When the argument is solely about whether Hodgson should take Andy Carroll or Peter Crouch we are not likely to be dealing in championship-winning potential. With Wayne Rooney suspended, the burden now largely falls on Danny Welbeck, a willing if raw workhorse.
Someone better order Laurent Blanc some valium quick: he's got to have something to help him through the sleepless nights worrying about that lot.
So this is it. Give or take a bit of tinkering at the edges, Roy's England is roughly the same as Fabio's — or Harry's or anyone else's — would have been. Now comes the real test for the new man: to see if he can coach a silk purse out of the sow's ear of a hand he has been dealt. Still, if he starts with the following team, he might — just might — have a chance of avoiding humiliation.
Hart; Johnson, Cahill, Lescott, Cole; Barry, Parker; Walcott, Gerrard, Young; Welbeck.