Gareth Bale's outrageously brilliant winner last night unleashed another torrent of praise on the Tottenham winger, and sparked further comparisons with Cristiano Ronaldo.
Far be it from us at The Rundown to let the facts get in the way of a good story - but Bale can't hold a candle to the great man.
How do we know? We have spent several weeks crunching the numbers and employed leading sabermetricians - here are their findings, presented in sarcastic photo form.
1- Free-kicks
Granted Bale's on a hot streak - but just look at the fear in that Atletico Madrid wall.
2- Headers
Eyes shut, ball flying high into the air - call that a header?
3- Volleys
Extra style points for Ronaldo's collar-up effort. Bale puts his into orbit.
4- Celebrations
Ronaldo channels his inner Gareth Cheeseman; Bale just looks a bit lame
5- Complaining
Hands together, mouth wide open in disbelief - textbook from Ronaldo.
6- Torso
Somebody tell Swansea and Bradford we've found a bigger mismatch!
7- 'Falling over'
A masterclass in how to sell the fall; take note, young Gareth.
8- Boots
Another rout - inexcusably low-key from Bale.
9- Awards
Mr PFA Player of the Year, meet Mr Ballon d'Or.
10- Hugs
Ronaldo pulls off a masculine embrace of equals; Bale goes all puppy-dog-ish. No contest.
11- Pulling up shorts
Important category, this. Bale has better technique but reveals a little too much.
12- Style
Ronaldo's not at his best, but just look at that hood on Bale's coat.
13- Hair
Let us never forget the early years of Gareth Bale.