Gareth Bale's outrageously brilliant winner last night unleashed another torrent of praise on the Tottenham winger, and sparked further comparisons with Cristiano Ronaldo.
Far be it from us at The Rundown to let the facts get in the way of a good story - but Bale can't hold a candle to the great man.
How do we know? We have spent several weeks crunching the numbers and employed leading sabermetricians - here are their findings, presented in sarcastic photo form.
1- Free-kicksGranted Bale's on a hot streak - but just look at the fear in that Atletico Madrid wall.
Eyes shut, ball flying high into the air - call that a header?
3- VolleysExtra style points for Ronaldo's collar-up effort. Bale puts his into orbit.
4- CelebrationsRonaldo channels his inner Gareth Cheeseman; Bale just looks a bit lame
5- ComplainingHands together, mouth wide open in disbelief - textbook from Ronaldo.
6- TorsoSomebody tell Swansea and Bradford we've found a bigger mismatch!
7- 'Falling over'A masterclass in how to sell the fall; take note, young Gareth.
8- BootsAnother rout - inexcusably low-key from Bale.
9- AwardsMr PFA Player of the Year, meet Mr Ballon d'Or.
10- HugsRonaldo pulls off a masculine embrace of equals; Bale goes all puppy-dog-ish. No contest.
11- PullingRead More »from 13 reasons Bale isn’t fit to lace Ronaldo’s boots