If you thought that a week of Euro 2012 action, the exit of Harry Redknapp from Tottenham, a Test match and Olympic non-selections would throw up a delicious quote or two, well... you'd be right.
'ARRY AND SPURS
"It's not a case of me looking for security. What it's about is players knowing you've only got one year left on your contract and knowing that it doesn't work, basically. I think it's a situation of, 'well, he might not be here next year'" — Harry Redknapp on Monday. In short, speculation about my future is destabilising Spurs.
"Absolute rubbish, absolute rubbish, absolute rubbish. You saw the effort. How can it destabilise the team when they come out and play like they did and keep on going? The players' ain't just gone 'the manager is leaving we ain't bothered any more'" — Harry Redknapp in March. In short, speculation about my future is not destabilising Spurs.
"No, I haven't resigned, and I have no idea why it is being suggested that I have resigned. This is an outrage; an absolute liberty for people to be putting around this kind of rumour on the internet. It is not true, there is not a chance I will resign. Why should I? I have a year left on my contract" — Harry Redknapp on Tuesday — come Thursday... ah, you know the rest.
THE EURO 2012 FILES
The liberal Italian
"I hope there isn't one in the national team" — Antonio Cassano answers a question about whether there were 'secret' gays in the Italian team less than tactfully.
"Homophobia is a sentiment that is not mine... I only said that it is a problem that does not concern me and it is not for me to pass judgment on the choices of others, who are all respected" — Cassano's comments get put through the PR filter and a hasty apology is rather more tactful.
The Gallic charm
"If the French fans are disappointed with the way the French played and say we lacked ambition... well, if the French lacked ambition, what should we say about the English team then?" — saucer of milk for France coach Laurent Blanc, who doesn't much care for England's defensive rearguard.
"I didn't ask you to wait" — after a bunch of French reporters, Eurosport France's Maxime Dupuis included, wait two hours for Samir Nasri to do a post-match dope test so they can ask him for his thoughts on the game, they get slapped firmly in the face in the mixed zone. In a press conference, Nasri also told the French media that his celebration, when he put his finger to his lips, "was at you".
The Russian revolution
"This is Russia" - Russian fans forget the past and try to win new friends with a massive banner in Warsaw. 183 fans are arrested for violence before and after the match against local rivals Poland.
Tiki-taka never fails, but sometimes the grass fails tiki-taka
"A pitch that is so dry does not do football or the spectators many favours" — coach Vicente del Bosque explains why Spain struggled in a 1-1 draw with Italy.
"I don't want to complain, but we deserve much more. It is lamentable that we have to play on a pitch like this" — Cesc Fabregas. Try being English — you'll be sort of pleased with 40% possession and a goal pinched at a set-piece.
The unity of the Dutch
"It is time we let go of these pathetic egos. If somebody is creating a mess [within the squad], I will stand up against them. We don't need a psychologist with the Dutch team, we are grown-up men. The ones who have a problem with other players or the manager should tell them face to face. That is the only psychology we need. We have to stop living on little islands." Wesley Sneijder knows that the best way to deal with people with egos is to call them 'pathetic'.
"I feel like a young dog that is dying to get out but is caged in." — Rafael van der Vaart is not happy in his role as Dutch bench-warmer. At least at this rate he won't have to keep doing it for too much longer.
The Swedish optimism
"I have no problems sleeping at night. I don't lie awake watching videos or DVDs. And when I sleep I dream that we win, and when I wake up, I wake up happy. When the players rest... I'll rest too, and maybe I'll dream. That's the important thing with dreams - a wise man once said that if you're going to realise your dreams, you have to be awake. I hope in some way to experience us achieving our dreams" - Sweden manager Erik Hamren before Ukraine game.
"I watched the game again last night. I was up to 4.30am but I am not complaining. You have the life you deserve. We weren't good enough. We are not happy with the game and the first half was bad" — Hamren after 2-1 defeat to Ukraine.
FOOTBALLERS WILL BE FOOTBALLERS
"To say they behaved like peasants with money is an understatement. They were obnoxious and disgusting. One could say it would be expected of a rough pub on a council estate, but then that's probably unfair to council estates. It was more Big Fat Gypsy Wedding than our usual clientele... " — Allerton Castle staff were not charmed by Danny Guthrie's wedding guests.
"We do not think that liquidation and the closure of the club is a likely outcome at all. We need to stabilise the financial position and ensure from now on income exceeds expenditure.We fully understand the 140 years history of Rangers football club and are taking steps to ensure this history will endure" - Paul Clark, of Duff and Phelps, joint administrator of Rangers FC on February 16.
"HMRC has taken the view that the public interest will be better served with the liquidation of The Rangers Football Club plc as a corporate entity. The club will continue to operate as it has always done but within a new company structure. HMRC consider that the decision will enable a liquidator to instigate a wider investigation into all of the financial affairs and management of the club in recent years and to bring to task those they believe are responsible for its collapse." - Paul Clark, of Duff and Phelps, joint administrator of Rangers FC on June 12.
"Yea Viv talk nah" — West Indies cricketer Denesh Ramdin has a semi-incomprehensible message for legendary batsman Sir Viv Richards when he reaches his century at Edgbaston.
"It's been a long time coming. If you are good enough, the chances certainly are you are going to get it done. Let's not forget it's in a losing cause. Scoring a hundred when you are the team winning, that's excellent stuff. He should be quite happy, and humble in himself. (But) if you are losing 5-0 in a football match and you score a goal in the 90th minute, you shouldn't be running around jumping for joy. I wouldn't be happy with that. I set my standards a bit higher" — Sir Viv has his say immediately on radio commentary.
"I have been watching a lot of 'Fire in Babylon' [the documentary charting the rise of West Indies cricket] and it's really inspired me. I feed off Sir Vivian [Richards] and 'Fire in Babylon' is a fantastic film and gave me inspiration, I'm really grateful to do well" — Tino Best proves it is possible to perform for the West Indies and be nice about Sir Viv.
BEST OF THE REST
"I will never believe or be convinced that my non-selection for my home Olympics was not politically motivated. Why have I not been selected? Simple. Because I left the British Taekwondo system last year." — Taekwondo champion Aaron Cook speaks of his frustration at being left out of the London Olympics.
"I have been representing Great Britain for years, of course they had my contact details. This is something I have been aiming for for the last few years so to suggest they did not know I wanted to be considered for selection is just crazy" — And you thought Aaron Cook had it bad — Keith Cook has reportedly been left out of the GB fencing squad because he did not leave them his contact details.
"I've had a text from Colin. It was obviously one of those things that it is more embarrassing for him than me" — Paul Lawrie explains that Colin Montgomerie has apologised for getting his name wrong throughout his recent autobiography. The blame was laid at the feet of the book's editors.