A week ago, Chelsea were not Champions League winners, Kevin Pietersen had a little bit more money and David Cameron's personal view on John Terry was a mystery.
Seven days on, here are the highlights from a bumper week of sporting quotes:
"The spirit you saw in the dressing room after the match was unbelievable: the camaraderie ... they were sitting and talking for the longest time. They didn't get back to the hotel until almost three o'clock in the morning. Didier, of course, was dancing on the table, praying to the Cup. It was almost a religious experience." — Bruce Buck sums up the extraordinary mood after Chelsea's European triumph.
"It has been a very difficult decision for me to make and I am very proud of what we have achieved, but the time is right for a new challenge for me." — Drogba astutely points out that it will be difficult to eclipse scoring the goal and kicking the winning penalty in a Champions League final triumph.
"It has been difficult for him, but he has shown he is the man. Next season is going to be his season and I will try to speak to him. We have a good relationship. We don't understand why we didn't play together more, but that's the past. Torres is the future." — Drogba passes the torch to Torres.
"This season I have felt things that I had never felt before. I felt that they treated me in a way that I was not expecting, not in the way we spoke about when this club signed me. We have had a lot of conversations and at the end of the season we will talk to see what happens with my future because what I have experienced this year is not a role for me, the one I thought I would have when I came, I am not happy." — Torres doesn't exactly stay on message after the final.
"We've talked and now I have no doubt what they expect of Fernando Torres. I just want to start next season as soon as possible." — Torres, having talked with the club, now cannot wait for the new season. But spoils it by referring to himself in the third person.
"It's a misunderstanding. Anyone who puts themselves in my position and looks at the photo can see that, after such a great disappointment, I was not aware of what was going on around me. I was desperate, disappointed, as if I was paralysed. I didn't see the President's hand. I'm sorry that in that moment I left the wrong impression. I would like to apologise to the President." — If a football match ends with you having to apologise to the President of Germany, it's probably not been a good evening, as Bayern midfielder Bastian Schweinsteiger discovered after the match in Munich.
"We've put [managerial speculation] aside for the last six or eight weeks, concentrating on Barcelona, the FA Cup and Bayern Munich but I think now we have to sit down and figure that out. Roberto is certainly in the mix, he's done a great job and has to have serious consideration." — Buck confirms that winning the Champions League and the FA Cup after three months in the job is enough to put the current manager 'in the mix' to retain his job.
Farewell (for 12 matches), Joey
"There are rules of conduct that should be adhered to, and such behaviour tarnishes the image of football in this country, particularly as this match was the pinnacle of the domestic season and watched by millions around the globe." Brian Jones, chairman of the FA's independent commission, after Barton is handed a mammoth suspension.
"Can do nothing but apologise to the players and the fans. Still don't think it's a sending off." — Barton can do nothing but apologise — and mitigate.
There's only one John Terry
"I've waited eight or nine years for this moment and it wipes out all those bad memories from this competition. It's 100 per cent the top moment in my career." — John Terry proves that you don't have to play to have the best moments of your career. Which, potentially, is good news for Michael Owen.
"He's said some bad things" — Even David Cameron has an opinion on the Chelsea skipper.
Footballers will be footballers
"On an individual level I give my season a 10/10, but collectively we are a 9/10 because we want to win more - the Champions League for example." — Oh, come on: do we really need to tell you this was Cristiano Ronaldo summing up Real Madrid's season?
"Had we not won, it would have meant the owners would have had to find more money. It is painful. If you own 150 oil wells then it is no problem, but if you own 150 Ann Summers shops..." — West Ham United chairman David Gold sheds a little light on football financing.
Best of the rest
"Can somebody PLEASE tell me how Nick Knight has worked his way into the commentary box for Home Tests?? RIDICULOUS!!" — Kevin Pietersen finds out that negative tweets about commentators can be punished by a fine.
"In principle, I will stop after the US Open. That's the tournament where I have had my greatest triumphs and it is therefore very special to me. The (Flushing Meadows) stadium is about 45 minutes from our house in the United States and so my in-laws can be there." — Kim Clijsters takes a leaf out of fellow Belgian tennis player Justine Henin's book by retiring for a second time.
"To be able to wake up in your own bed, drive just down the road and be at work is a fantastic feeling." — Sounds fairly normal to most of us, but as we gear up for the Monaco Grand Prix it's worth remembering that Lewis Hamilton really, really loves driving.