I struck Joe Root in the face and I'm here to apologise to Joe and own up to it. I'm extremely remorseful. I have let my team-mates, Cricket Australia, the fans, myself and my family down. I have accepted the punishment that has been handed down and I'm accountable for my actions. Since then I have exchanged text messages with Joe. He accepted my apology which I am thoroughly grateful for" – Australia bad-boy David Warner mans up and takes it on the chin (ho ho) after being punished for aiming a jab at little Joe Root.
"David Warner has done a despicable thing but I also hold the team to account here. There were other people there with him and those that were there need to take responsibility for that, but so does the team as a whole and the team management group as well" – Cricket Australia CEO James Sutherland has the last word on slap-gate.
"I am 22 years old (and want) to learn from Gary Hooper, to follow him and take his example. We don't have the same style but he is a good striker. My style is more like Emmanuel Adebayor…" - Amido Balde, Celtic’s new Portuguese striker, started so well by praising former Hoops star Jorge Cadete, but ruins it all by likening himself to one the least popular forwards in British football.
"Getting to the final (of the U21 Euros), that experience would outweigh anything like a 10-minute substitution at senior level. Norway had four players join them from the senior squad. That's what we have got to do. If we had got to the final it would have given us a lift and if we have our strongest team there I think we've got a real chance. The FA really have to look at themselves and change the rules. They have to be much stronger when it comes to the tournament time" – He may be mad, but Glenn Hoddle is smarter than your average bear and is spot-on in his assessment of England’s national team malaise.
"The golf course is playing about as easy as it could and yet Merion is really fighting hard. We are all struggling because it's such a penalising golf course. It's penalising if you miss the fairways, very difficult if you miss the greens, and it's not a given to two putt on these greens… It's a course that's withstood the test of time, and it's challenging the best players in the world this week" – Phil Mickelson reserves rare praise for an inanimate object, the US Open's Merion golf course that is testing the world’s best players to the maximum.
"Since Real Madrid is the team of the galaxy, Bale would fit perfectly, we could really use him. He would give the team another dimension. His shot, his strength, his speed, his offensive power. He is the type of player who will help us take a step forward" – Here we go again, as Luka Modric starts Madrid’s annual tapping-up process, this time for Tottenham winger Gareth Bale.
"I understand (the anger). That's why I said sorry, because I can obviously see that I hurt a lot of people. And that doesn't make me feel good. I can tell you that. I wish I could go back in time and take back what I said, but unfortunately, I said it. The only thing I can do is show you my respect from here moving forward. I try to be as respectful as possible competing and hopefully what I do will show you how much I care about everybody. So only time will tell us I guess" - Sergio Garcia continues to eat fried chicken filled humble pie (and another less savoury dish) as the fall-out following his faux-pas carries into the US Open.
"All people - players, coaches, the club board and employees - who had any involvement in the club's representative team activities shall now be considered subject to police investigation" – Swedish fourth division side Syrianska report themselves to police after a 5-1 home defeat to Kvarnshedens follows suspicious betting patterns.
"How can any boxer not be ready for a fight in three months, especially with a contest already scheduled for two weeks? Only yesterday (Eddie) Hearn said in an interview that both (Carl Frampton and Scott Quigg) wanted it and that it was not the boxers, but their teams that were preventing it from happening. Well if Frampton wants it, his team want it and, according to Hearn, Quigg wants it also, then what does that tell you?" – It tells us that professional boxing is in need of a single governing body with the power to decide who fights who. In his glass house, Frank Warren would do well to pocket those stones…
"Hands up all those who have heard of Razvan Rat, Ricky van Wolfswinkel, Jesus Navas, Modibo Diakite, Guillermo Varela, Aleksandar Tonev, Jose Canas and Fernandinho. Hands on hearts, even if you have an inkling of those names now then how many of you knew who on earth they were as recently as last month? Thought not" – The Daily Mail’s Jeff Powell manages to insult his readership and himself in one fell swoop. No, no-one had ever heard of World Cup winner Jesus Navas, Nope, that wasn't him who started the move that resulted in the winning goal. No, that’s not him holding the World Cup trophy. No, never him.