"Everyone always says 'you didn't get enough goals, you didn't get enough goals.' But I'll get my fair share of goals, plus I will help produce a lot of goals. That was one of the main things that I do." - Emile Heskey raises expectations after Newcastle Jets sell out their first batch of 'Heskey 9' shirts.
"When I came here, I didn't know much about Australian football. Then a couple of weeks ago, Del Piero signed [with Sydney FC] and everyone from Switzerland, my family and friends, all texted me saying how great it was. Now Emile Heskey is coming to play with me and my team. It's very, very exciting." - Heskey's new team-mate, Swiss defender Dominik Ritter, gets caught up in Heskey-mania.
"When we announced to the players that our sponsor would be a brothel, they wanted to know about bonuses." - President Giannis Batziolas makes light of the news that Greek football team Voukefala have secured an unusual revenue stream.
"This statue goes against the tradition of making statues in honour of certain victories. It is an ode to defeat." - Exhibition organiser Alain Michaud explains why he has chosen to erect a five-metre high statue of Zinedine Zidane's infamous head-butt on Marco Materazzi outside the Pompidou Centre in Paris.
"Some of our players have had a bad course in life. By going to church, you don't expect it to change overnight. Sometimes they go off the rails." - Tony Sadla, founder of Common Ground United, attempts to explain why a match in the West Midlands Christian League descended into a brawl.
"I have been going to Al Ain FC games with my friends for three years. Why not? We are treated well, we enjoy the games, have fun and at the end of the day get Dh50, which is good pocket money for us." - Fan for hire Haroon Mohammed explains why he enjoys being paid to watch football.
RYDER CUP SPECIAL
"There's something about Ryder Cup which kind of intrigues me: how you can be great mates with somebody, but, boy, do you want to kill them in Ryder Cup? The Ryder Cup means too much to us for it ever to lose that edge." - Ian Poulter ratches up the aggro ahead of the clash between USA and Europe at Medinah Country Club.
And has Jose Maria Olazabal asked him to tone down his antics?
"Are you kidding me? Are you for real? Are you going to tell someone not to enjoy holing a putt in front of 20,000 people and seeing them go bananas? That is Ryder Cup. That is what it means. Hell no. It is like scoring a penalty in a Champions League final. You should enjoy it. You have got the potential to hole many of them during the day so why not give it a fist pump? No, we haven't been told to tone down any enjoyment factor when trying to beat the opposition."
"I'm very, very competitive. People don't get that, because I'm polite. But when I tee it up on Friday here, or tee it up against anybody, I'm going to try to beat their brains in as bad as I can." - US rookie Brandt Snedeker gets involved in the trash talking.
"It's always pleasing when you're able to take cash out of Poulter's wallet. A few moths fell out at the same time, but it was fun." - Luke Donald has a joke at the expense of his team-mate after taking money off him during a practice round.
JOHN TERRY CORNER
"Representing and captaining my country is what I dreamed of as a boy and it has been a truly great honour. I have always given my all and it breaks my heart to make this decision. I want to wish Roy and the team every success for the future. I am making this statement today in advance of the hearing of the FA disciplinary charge because I feel the FA, in pursuing charges against me where I have already been cleared in a court of law, have made my position with the national team untenable." - John Terry announces his retirement from international football.
"It's a personal decision. I don't see how we've made it untenable, they're two very separate processes. It's something that happened in a match — it shouldn't be taking a year to resolve but we feel we're reaching a conclusion on that. That's a very different process from our England procedures; they sit in different compartments and I could separate the two in my mind, but it doesn't look like he could." - FA general secretary Alex Horne has a rather different take on the controversy.
BEST OF THE REST
"I've never been to Ukraine but I have heard it's very dangerous for a black man. There are crazy racists who have already sent me death threats. So Germany would be the best and safest place for me to beat Vitali and get out of the stadium alive." - David Haye says he will not take on Vitali Klitschko in his own back yard.
"I've been saying for months we've got to get our refs back." - President Obama weighs in on the NFL referee lock-out row. Lo and behold, it was settled within hours.
"I'm just trying to be the best that I can be and that's why I don't want to be involved in that environment. For me to improve as a player and as a person, you want to be in the best possible environment. I feel that environment is destroying me as a person and as a player so I can't do my best to represent myself, my country and my friends to the best of my ability. What I mean by the environment being toxic is that you expect it to be like a family environment." - Australia fly-half Quade Cooper doesn't mince his words as he reveals why he won't be playing for the national side any more.
"I wouldn't allow my son to play for those Neanderthals. They're low-lifes. I'm embarrassed for them. It's immature parenting, trying to win at all cost. Where is the sense of right and wrong? It shows a complete lack of integrity." Parent Tara Yocam express her horror at the news that a kids' American football team are paying out money for violent hits on 10 and 11-year-olds.