"In the supermarket, you have eggs; class one, class two, class three. Some are more expensive than others and some give you better omelettes. So when the class one eggs are in Waitrose and you cannot go there, you have a problem." – Jose Mourinho offers a ‘cracking’ analogy following his 2007 sacking from Chelsea, suggesting Roman Abramovich was not letting him pursue the signings he wanted.
"Beautiful young eggs, eggs that need a mum, in this case a dad, to take care of them, to keep them warm during the winter, to bring the blankets and to work and improve them and one day we'll arrive in a moment when the weather changes, the sun rises, we break the eggs and the eggs are ready to go for life at the top level." – ‘The Happy One’ describes his current crop of ‘eggs’ earlier in the week. Despite being fired after going three games without a win in ’07, Mourinho has now gone four without at Chelsea.
“Liverpool is a massive football club and they had not won anything for six years when I got there, but we won something in our first season.” – Let it go, Kenny Dalglish. Just… let it go.
"I apologised immediately after the game to my team, the fourth official and the referee as well. I have to accept the consequences for my actions. I was like a clown out there. That was stupid.” – Borussia Dortmund coach Juergen Klopp deeply regrets his screaming rant at a Champions League fourth official that got him sent off.
"That the derby is a question of nerve, tactics and strategy we already knew, but frankly we could never expect that it could turn into an scene of espionage." – Sampdoria issue a statement after catching a Genoa coach spying in the bushes of their training ground, dressed in camouflage.
“To the team: We saw a group of cadavers (corpses) wandering round the pitch. Not only did you not look like players, but not even men. It is not the behaviour of a man to fall without a fight, to let himself be derided without reaction.” – Furious Sampdoria ultras pen a well-worded yet scathing letter to the team after their 4-2 derby humbling to Genoa a few days later.
“Your breath stinks. You're going to learn a very valuable lesson about respect. You'll get knocked out, you know it. It's that look in your eyes. You've got the face of a worried man, haven't you?” – Carl Froch holds nothing back during his first face-to-face with next opponent George Groves.
“Nobody is expecting Riddick Bowe to start wrestling like Rey Mysterio. But he is determined to succeed at this and still has that presence and charisma from his boxing days.” – That’s right: former world heavyweight boxing champion Riddick Bowe will soon be pulling on the spandex and dishing out clotheslines and bodyslams, as the promoter of his first match Steven Fludder explains.
"I've heard there's many more players who throw snooker matches. I suppose Steve Lee (sic) was just caught out. I just love putting it out there. Bring it all out in the open. Nothing like a bit of transparency is what I say. No need to worry if you got nothing to hide. But plenty of people have got loads to hide. That's why there is no free speech. There (sic) hiding. They will prob fine me for talking about it. They don't like you doing that. Like to keep things under the carpet." – Ronnie O’Sullivan just couldn’t help but stick his nose into the Stephen Lee match-fixing scandal via Twitter.
"The reasons why I left from the team are purely on the money side, and the things I haven't got, my salary. That is an unfortunate thing. There were a lot of things, I am sure they know what there are. It is hard to say which way it would have gone if it would have happened, but I am very happy [with my decision]." – Kimi Raikkonen cites unpaid wages as one of the reasons he left Lotus for Ferrari.
"Fate has not been kind to me. It may be great fortune for the nation, but having to leave this place fills me with sadness. I just feel that had it not been for the Olympics, my life would have been so different." – Kohei Jinoo describes his angst after, for the second time in his lifespan, he is forcibly evicted by an upcoming Olympics in Tokyo.
"I was wearing a mouthguard and there's no way I bit him on the dick.” – Anthony Watts, who plays for Australian rugby league side Tugun Seahawks, denies accusations of gnawing an opponent in the worst possible place.