Cow Corner Blog

The unstoppable Burnley Bronco

Thu Jun 05 06:43PM

5.45pm: The super hover is on and that is it for the day which is good news for mkip1234 who will become his region's leading orator on cycling with all those mags. E-mail your details to cow.corner@yahoo.co.uk. See you at 10.30am.

BALL-BY-BALL SCORECARD | MATCH GALLERY    

5.10pm: Bad light I'm afraid. Jimmy can put his feet up and get handshakes. We are off to get milkshakes. It's dark but stay tuned, we will keep you informed. 

5pm: New Zealand 96-6 (33 overs) - WICKET! Jim Laker, Anil Kumble, Jimmy Anderson?? The ten-wicket haul is on as he goes around the wicket and gets one to leave Oram whose feet are in quicksand and he gets a feather edge through to Hopkins.

 4.45pm: New Zealand 79-5 (29 overs) - The debutant Gareth Hopkins is sticking around but his first-class career is as underwhelming as paying £75 for a Stevie Wonder gig when he plays the "new stuff". The 31-year-old averaging 31 in over 100 matches.

4.30pm: New Zealand 77-5 (27 overs) - WICKET! How clips Broad, Sidebottom and Anderson through the leg-side for boundaries but departs as he is drawn into playing a forward defensive to a slightly wide Anderson delivery and Ambrose takes a fine, low catch. That's a Michelle for Jimmy.

lucylovedavid203 - thanks for your feedback but did you know this is a career best for Anderson.

4.15pm: New Zealand 62-4 (23 overs) - WICKETS! It's not quite Independence Day overhead but it's pretty gloomy and Broad and Anderson are bowling full and giving it every chance to move around. How gets an edge over Alastair Cook at fourth slip for his fourth boundary but then Anderson gets his reward as Taylor drives on the up, straight to Kevin Pietersen at point. Dan Flynn lost his tooth in the last Test and he's lost his wicket now, trapped palpably lbw third ball to Jimmy. 4-30 for the rampaging Burnley Bronco.

3.40pm: New Zealand 57-2 (19 overs) - How pulls Paul Collingwood (he can't bat anymore so give him a couple of overs) through mid-wicket and then England get the ball changed. Apparently the replacement balls in the box are 2007 which swing more than the 2008 edition.  Anyway it's tea and 20 minutes to digest the_kop2003's thoughts on genetic freaks. Talking of genetic freaks, I'm going to see if Angus Fraser is interested in a game of kerplunk tonight.

3.20pm: New Zealand 52-2 (16 overs) - How clips Sidebottom through mid-wicket and Taylor swipes another boundary through the covers before we have a bit of rugby league in the middle. Confusion between the two batsmen, a quick single is called and the whole episode ends in Anderson, scampering in from mid-wicket, clearing out Taylor with a nice tackle. Both men dust themselves down but it was quite a tasty collision - probably very similar to the one if I ever get my hooves on awilycoyote. 50 up!

3.05pm: New Zealand 36-2 (12 overs) - Ross Taylor is doing a Mike Tyson - hitting his way out of trouble. He plays and misses at an Anderson outswinger and then spanks the next ball through the covers before slicing another four over cover point.

2.50pm: New Zealand 24-2 (9 overs) - Jamie How plays the shot of the innings (but that's not much of a contest) as he clips Sidebottom through mid-wicket for four.

2.35pm: New Zealand 14-2 (6 overs) - WICKET! Carbon copy delivery from Anderson and McCullum is squared up and his off-stump is destroyed. One could bring seven with this Black Caps top order.

arviemail - despite being a valued regular contributor, your what if either figure is zero? was more of a police inquiry than a statement so no. Maybe james_ssmith - the Walter Mitty of Cow Corner can be the judge here.

2.20pm: New Zealand 6-1 (2 overs) - WICKET! Zzzzzwap - Anderson's third ball is an absolute jaffer, pitches on middle and sends Redmond's off-stump cartwheeling. Great start for the hosts - Jimmy is swinging it around corners in these humid conditions and McCullum, up to three in the order, is beaten all ends up first ball before squirting a thick edge to the boundary.

Redmond made one which means 13 of our 15 competition entries are out of the running. Four maidens or less and mkip1234 wins, six or more it's swads43 with his zero entry. Five Sidebottom maidens and we have a tie - the winner will be settled by jousting with dried fruit.

2.05pm: England 364 (126.5 overs) - WICKET! Monty Panesar lasts two balls before being triggered by umpire Steve Bucknor. He is given out via a bat-pad to McCullum off Vettori but his bat is not even close to the ball. He might find his wallet a little lighter as he lingers around dumbfounded like someone's shot his pet labrador. Anyway ten minutes for final competiton entries.

2pm: England 361-9 (126 overs) - WICKET! Broad drives down the ground for four more and then he hooks Martin to the boundary. But his innings ends at 64 as the ball is angled back in to the left-hander and Martin clips the top of off. You could have driven a Fiat Cinquecento through that gate but it was a mighty fine innings from a 22-year-old.

1.45pm: England 350-8 (121 overs) - Cowers back for another session of slamming the wasps from the pure cricketing apple of truth. Broad flicks Vettori's sixth ball after the pies off his legs and finally he brings up his maiden Test 50 from 117 balls with eight boundaries. Good work, Sir - that will help with the Asparagus breath.

1pm: England 341-8 (120 overs) - Broad has been stuck on 49 for 23 balls and he must wait for his maiden Test half century for at least another 40 minutes. Excellent morning for England.

Cowers is off to break Joey Chestnut's world record of eating 8.8 pounds of Tempura Deep Fried Asparagus Spears in 10 minutes. See you soon.

12.45pm: England 338-8 (115 overs) - WICKET! Jacob Oram makes the breakthrough as Anderson gets a feather edge through to Hopkins. An almost Australian 76-run partnership for the eight wicket.

Emergency services were called to attend an explosion earlier at the ground. No it was not a result of Cowers' chick pea stew last night but a paint canister burst in the club's maintenance store room. One member of staff was taken to hospital but thankfully he seems ok.

12.30pm: England 331-7 (111 overs) - Broad stands up tall and punches O'Brien past mid-off on the backfoot for his sixth boundary before a delightful cover drive takes him to 45 - also his highest Test score. This is the best morning's sport since Nazareth won the Cup.

12.15pm: England 320-7 (108 overs) - Krunch! - a mesmeric cover drive from Anderson to the pickets as Iain O'Brien comes into the attack. Zlonk! - a super slog sweep through mid-wicket off Daniel Vettori's 11th ball of the morning and that's a career high for the Burnley Bradman.

nickbroberts - can we have a url please 

Noon: England 308-7 (104 overs) - The 300 comes up with the second boundary of the morning, a square drive from Broad off Martin past backward point. He then edges the ball straight down the esophagus of where third slip would have been. 

Time for drinks, plenty of time for one of you to set-up the Cow Facebook page. Here's some details: Name: Cow; Education: Bovine University; Udders: 4; Favourite drink: Pernod; Hobbies: Sleeping standing up

11.45am: England 294-7 (101 overs) - The world has officially gone mad - Britain's most expensive supermarket are using prog rock to promote their picnics and now Broad has been forced to do his top button up by the umpires due to excessive sponsorship on his vest. Some late swing from Mills but this partnership is now a very handy 31.

Still plenty of time for you to dust down the abacus and enter the competition, all entries open until former Wigan CC star Redmond faces his first ball.

11.30am: England 290-7 (97 overs) - Some variable bounce this morning and Kyle Mills has just produced one that kept so low it would have decapitated David Rappaport - could be a factor on days four and five.

The big news overnight is that Mike Gatting did not turn up for his World Cheescake Eating Record attempt on the outfield. More news from the IFOCE at lunch - it's topical you know.

11.15am: England 284-7 (94 overs) - Brendon McCullum might have been on the ale overnight, he has just shelled a dolly at second slip as Broad flashes outside off to Martin. It's not as easy without those big gloves on. Anderson then gets a thick edge past second slip for the first boundary of the morning. Apparently Sidebottom had a back spasm last night so Jimmy got the promotion to nine.

11am:  Definitely a bowling day today, cloudy conditions - it's quite muggy and I'm not taking about a Nottingham housing estate. England will be looking 300+ and Chris Martin will open up after his shocking effort yesterday.

 10:45am: Today's competition is a gem, simply give me Aaron Redmond's runs divided by Ryan Sidebottom's maidens. Decimal points at your discretion. And the prize - the next four editions of Cycling Weekly - ideal to find out which riders are using which chemists in the build-up to the Tour de France.

10:30am: A very good morning and welcome to day two of what the venerable the_kop2003 has described as "the ultimate climaxatron". England resume on 273-7 with Stuart 'Actually better at batting' Broad at the crease with Jimmy Anderson, who was insanely sent in as a nightwatchman to protect Ryan Sidebottom. Madness.

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