Blunt bowlers blame the ball
Thu Jul 09 07:07PM
Simon Katich and Ricky Ponting hauled Australia into a strong position at 249 for one with England all out for 435, but frankly the pair's rearguard was as riveting as a Hugh Morris press conference, so we shall cast our minds back to the morning session.
No sooner had England captain Andrew Strauss set his tail-enders the target of reaching 400 from an overnight score of 336 for seven, but he suddenly clocked that Monty Panesar could be striding out to bat in no less than two balls.
Such a grave scenario was delayed for a healthy length of time thanks to a masterful display of expansive, enterprising batting from Graeme Swann, who plundered a brisk 47 off 40 balls and looked every inch a Ted Dexter impersonator.
Australia's bowlers went down the Swanny, when the spinner began swinging with such reckless abandon that you wondered if he had been drilling Bloody Marys during his side's morning meeting.
Indeed, Swann and Anderson would have been justified in hinting to Andy Flower that perhaps reversing the batting order should not be a tactic confined solely to drunken village-tour matches after their partnership of 51 off 38 balls.
It was later revealed from the England camp that each tail-ender is assigned a 'batting buddy', with Paul Collingwood mentoring Panesar, and Alastair Cook tutoring James Anderson.
The results were there in black and white, as Panesar patted a full toss down at his feet with circumspection, and Anderson nurdled a back-foot push behind square. It may appear to be a lazy approach to coaching, but it seems to have worked.
Watching Hauritz and Ben Hilfenhaus bowling in tandem was conducive to the rewarding pursuit of building beer snakes, as the supporters did not entirely appreciate the bowlers' defensive smattering of tight-line deliveries.
Hauritz's first delivery turned so prodigiously it had both he and Swann grinning broadly, with the Australian clearly the most surprised. Given how rarely the spinner actually turns the ball, it must replicate the feeling of sheer wonder a small child experiences when placing a ball into Merlin - the leg-spin bowling machine.
Hauritz was picked in preference to Beau Casson, Jason Krejza, Cameron White and Bryce McGain - a shortlist which smacks of the indecisive selection methods endorsed by England's Raymond 'prove yourself right now' Illingworth in the 90s.
Peter Siddle, who was a very promising competitive woodchopper back in rural Victoria, was not impressed when Panesar blatantly mimicked him with a vertical hack in his sixth over of the day, which would have taken care of any eucalyptus in the outback.
When Australia batted, Phil Hughes looked like a man who had sunk seven Red Bulls in quick succession prior to the innings, fidgeting furiously and swatting at the ball as if a fly were buzzing around in his face.
With Matthew Hayden back in Queensland pan-frying sea bass, Hughes was in Cardiff getting dismissed for fewer runs than his predecessor has editions of his self-acclaimed and inventively titled 'Matthew Hayden Cookbook'.
The crowd became increasingly inebriated as Katich and Ponting moved inexorably towards their centuries, and the volume and intensity of their cheering had less and less correlation to the events on the field.
The bars continued to fill steadily as Swann and Panesar peppered the off stumps of Ponting and Katich, whose obdurate batting caused many to lose the will to live.
Panesar averaged two vociferous appeals an over, with umpire Billy Doctrove wanting to clock him over the ear with his sun hat but, as the pundits infuriatingly continue to retort: 'That is just Monty!'
Both sets of bowlers can blame the ball for not swinging enough, not bouncing enough, or not making them smile enough, but maybe they should stop bemoaning the conditions if this opening Test is not to peter out into a drab draw.
Meanwhile, as Cowers alluded to earlier, Michael Vaughan is at pains - or rather pleasure - to insist that he is enjoying retirement, but is he about to front a new 'Pimms o'clock at the cricket' advertising campaign? Here is yesterday's evidence, and a close inspection of the date would suggest that this was indeed a photo from today?
USER COMMENT OF THE DAY: I hope Kevin Pietersen watched both Katich and Ponting very closely today. Not one rash shot between them, even when they were in their sixties, seventies, eighties and nineties. He is supposed to be our number one batsman, but he is a joke and I stand by my suggestion that he should be dropped until he learns how to bat properly. I know he top-scored but that is only because the rest of our top-order is so rubbish. (Kestephenson, sounding very much like an even blunter version of Geoffrey Boycott).
SHOT OF THE DAY: Swann bashed three boundaries off one Hauritz over, but the third was outrageous: an audacious reverse sweep for four which reeked of mock arrogance from the bowler. The Wicket-Keepers' Union may still be going strong, but clearly the Spinners' Union has very little substance indeed.
STAT OF THE DAY: Ponting became the fourth man in the history of cricket to reach 11,000 runs, joining Allan Border, Brian Lara and Sachin Tendulkar who have also reached that landmark. Ponting has the highest average of all of them with 56.42.
Katich & Ponting have today by each scoring a ton proved my point that Kevin Pieterson is too self -centred, egotistical and possibly not good enough to build a big ton!
It is that that will be the crucial difference between the 2 teams. Australia now don't have star ego players and will play as a team whilst England have players who think that they are stars!
The English women cricketers win matches PRECISELY because all 11 of the players play for each other and the team is stronger for that and consequently wins! KP plays just for himself and AS is too weak to drop him for sheer bloody stupidity. I would have given him out just for that shot alone!!!
From jonathangrosskopf on Thu Jul 09 07:19PMStat of the Day says it all: Alan Border, Brian Lara, Sachin Tendulkar & now Rikki Ponting. Who is the fool who reckons that Kevin Pieterson will EVER be in THAT company of superb players - include Sir Gary Sobers and Donald Bradman too!
From jonathangrosskopf on Thu Jul 09 07:21PMTrue, Ponting and Katich were not by any means riveting, Cowers, but they were certainly annoyingly effective!
From parksfields on Thu Jul 09 07:22PMDisappointing at the end with no swing or turn, but let's not forget the magnificent tail wagging this morning. Well done Swanny!
From soul.limbo on Thu Jul 09 07:26PMOk #4, so let's start off tomorrow morning just like we today. Hopefully the bowlers will have a good night's sleep and they get a decent cherry to work with in the morning.
From smiling.phases on Thu Jul 09 07:29PMAh yes, 'Lord' Ted Dexter, if only he were gracing the stage at Cardiff...
From jiveman5 on Thu Jul 09 07:33PMGet in. Australia were brilliant today
From jenysiss on Thu Jul 09 07:34PMThere was no swing but England should have coped better. Now maybe our attack wont be so criticised for their efforts on this wicket and with that ball!!!!???
From jenysiss on Thu Jul 09 07:34PMclearly all the focus was on hughes. if they had a plan for katich - who is a very good player, i dont know what it was.
by now they should know they are confronting a challenge far greater than that posed by the might of a disinterested and frost-bitten west indies team. this is the problem when you gain too much confidence (and hear too much hype) after beating a team of clearly inferior quality. if winning is a habit, so is mediocrity when it is sufficient. well, im not saying england is mediocre, but they didnt make that extra step up against a circumspect and professional top order. mind you, the pitch was very slow, which didnt help, and the aussies are still a fair bit behind.
i think england certainly has the goods to beat the aussies. they have a very quick attack and spin bowlers that are even better than our hauritz
but as the great steve waugh said, everyone has the skills at that level - whats important is temperament. of course, a spiteful press and unforgiving fans will help our cause. if england come out hyped up and chirpy on day 3 it will be a sign they are in for a good scrap.From coslb on Thu Jul 09 07:39PMfrom D.B.LORDS
WHENEVER WE NED A G.BOYCOTT IN HE TEAM TO SHOW THEM HOW TO BT IS RIGHT NOWFrom dennisbeauy on Thu Jul 09 07:43PMTrue there is always a tomorrow but will manyana come? The trouble with the Men's England cricket team are deep rooted and need to be sorted out soon. They haven't beaten top countries like South Africa, India & Pakistan.
THE WOMEN HAVE BEATEN EVERYBODY!!!!From jonathangrosskopf on Thu Jul 09 07:55PMAustralia play proper test cricket,england only know how to play limited
overs hence their slog today comapre that with the OZ's approach.
From andyganley on Thu Jul 09 08:11PM12 The men don't win anything even playing slog cricket in either the 20/20 or 50 overs versions. The Women know how to play cricket and win!!
THAT SHOULD TELL YOU SOMETHING!!!
Men out Women rule ok!!From jonathangrosskopf on Thu Jul 09 08:26PM12 The men don't win anything even playing slog cricket in either the 20/20 or 50 overs versions. The Women know how to play cricket and win!!
THAT SHOULD TELL YOU SOMETHING!!!
Men out Women rule ok!!From jonathangrosskopf on Thu Jul 09 08:28PM12
The England's Men cricket team didn't win anything at the slog around 20/20 version The England Women's cricket team did!
= ENGLISH WOMEN ARE BETTER THAN MEN AT PLAYING CRICKET!!!From jonathangrosskopf on Thu Jul 09 08:32PMShow me a test series where Pietersen has failed to average in the top 40ties or low 50ties since beginning his test career and I'll start listening to the comments calling for his head. He is a class act and his occasional rash shot-making is nothing compared to the number of times he has contributed to either winning a test match for England or saving one. Give the guy a break and recognize his true ability.
From azandabby on Thu Jul 09 09:21PMHa. I saw Vaughan there today as well. What a hero! He loves a good glass that man. Proper legend that man. WE could do with him out there now
From garyplatt7 on Thu Jul 09 09:58PMPipe down jonathangrosskopf - you clearly dont know what youre talking about like that other goon on the comment
From garyplatt7 on Thu Jul 09 09:59PMYoure right garyplatt7 - Vaughan would give them a bit of calm and a bit of steel out there when everyone is down and losing their heads like in the evening.
From perfectparfit on Thu Jul 09 10:03PMCan anyone tell me why Broad has lost his bottle, too? I thought he was the type of character who would relish an Ashes battle?!
From perfectparfit on Thu Jul 09 10:06PM18 I happen to know that the English women's cricket team are the World Champions at 20/20 and 50/50 overs. So maybe you should have a cricketing reality check! Anyway since England won the Ashes in 2005 and then lost it in 2007 who have they actually beaten except the Windies !!!!
From jonathangrosskopf on Thu Jul 09 10:12PMENGLAND'S TAIL ENDERS DID WELL ON A PITCH THAT HAS FLATTENED OUT ON DAY 2 ,AS DO ALL GOOD TEST PITCHES. It's a game played over 5 days. There will be a few more twists & turns before Sunday. Don't panic!!!!
From cowen858 on Thu Jul 09 10:13PMMaybe tomorrow morning the newish ball will swing and then you'll see a different game.
From jonathangrosskopf on Thu Jul 09 10:37PMYeah a new ball will sort it all out and maybe we can take some quick wickets
From perfectparfit on Thu Jul 09 10:44PMDo England think they will be better treated by continuing to select the son of a match referee?. If they don't when will they realise that Broad is not good enough to take wickets at a reasonable average against the better teams. Graham Taylor didn't like Oranges Andy Flower musn't like Onions stop letting food cloud selection.
From getholdofjohn on Thu Jul 09 11:42PMBroad is all bluster and now't else. He has no pace off the wicket, certainly not enough to trouble a class player like Ponting. And that fearsome stare he gives the batters, they must quake in their boots.
Broad is still a boy and has a lot of growing up to do and a lot more learning of his trade to seek before he plays on a stage like this again.
I truly felt embarrassed for him today, a boy amongst men.From bensafrimboy on Thu Jul 09 11:54PMeast or west, PONTY is the best
From rahul.nsit on Fri Jul 10 12:09AMIf Bopari, Collingwood and Pietersen was less riveting, England would still be batting, the pitch had done nothing for 2 days, most of the English batsmen just got themselves out
If the England batsmen batted less riveting, they could easily score 650 in the first 2 days and batted Australia out of the match, as it is, Australia might get 650 and have 2 days to bowl England out.
Who care if they were not riveting, what matters is who wins. If Pieterson was less riveting, he might be a world class player
From fundovi on Fri Jul 10 12:26AMEngland had a new ball to start with. What makes you think they will do any better with a second new ball? Come on folks. There was little penetration from the bowlers and I think we could be facing a huge score when we bat again.
From jamesbd on Fri Jul 10 12:54AMEnglands opening bowlers must start to get two simple facts in there heads,,,LINE & LENGTH then turn up the pace..
From casacalidaa on Fri Jul 10 02:58AM
Comment on this article
Please sign in to add your comments.
Cow corner
Sport Newsletter
Catch up with all the latest news
Sign up to our free daily newsletter to recieve the latest news straight to your inbox. Make sure you don’t miss a thing.
Sign up now
This site is Copyright © 2009 Yahoo! and Eurosport. All rights reserved.
- Terms of Service
- Updated Privacy Policy
- Copyright/IP Policy
- Remarks and Suggestions
- Corporate info
- Jobs at Eurosport
Notice: We collect personal information on this site. To learn more about how we use your information, see our Privacy Policy.