Fri Jul 10 07:29PM
In the build up to the first Ashes Test in Cardiff, all the talk was that the venue would suit England. With Australia's insatiable desire for runs showing no signs of abating at 479-5 after the third day's play, Britain's wettest cricket ground could come to Andrew Strauss's rescue.
Despite Stuart Broad taking the key wicket of Michael Clarke for 83 before umpire Aleem Dar felt a drop of rain on his nose and took the players off, he and Marcus North (pictured, left) shone as the floodlights made a fleeting and historic cameo.
England's bowlers were blunted on Day Two, and 'Sack the cherry-picker' was the cry after England selected a ball so dead that Andrew Flintoff almost stuck it in a gear-stripped coffin and buried it in the River Taff.
James Anderson was allegedly the man who walked proudly out of the umpires' room with the gleaming new cherry in his hand, but looked sheepish after the ball reacted like a sullen teenager.
After a slightly nauseating warble of an attempted Jerusalem rendition, England plucked a new ball from umpire Billy Doctrove's magic box just nine overs into the day's play, and there was an audible sigh of relief.
The mints, fruit pastilles and wine gums were all out in force as Paul Collingwood's pockets bulged with sweets after being appointed the unofficial ball-shiner, but with none of the pomp and ceremony it perhaps deserved.
Doctrove had obstinately refused to give any lbw decisions all match, adopting the 'fractionally missing middle stump' approach, but he finally ran out of excuses when Anderson trapped Simon Katich plum in front for 122.
Flintoff welcomed Mike Hussey to the crease with a crack on the helmet and a piercing glare as the Cardiff crowd sensed that a middle-order collapse was imminent. It wasn't.
Hussey departed for just three, before even his sun block had time to dry, with Anderson extracting the edge of his sticker-emblazoned plank.
Monty Panesar, sensing that getting a decision from Doctrove would involve providing hardback evidence in the form of a Wisden almanack, eventually resorted to clean bowling Ricky Ponting for 150.
Australia's top eight batsmen all have Test match tons to their name, and as England celebrated the eventual demise of Ponting and Katich's hefty partnership, two further run machines were unleashed from Tim Neilsen's proverbial locker.
The onus was then on vice-captain Michael Clarke to help his side kick on, and the man they affectionately call 'Nemo', or 'Pup', showed his gritty side in the manner of old Bill 'Corpse with pads on' Lawry.
It was a surreal atmosphere which greeted the players after lunch, with large areas of the stands at Cardiff left empty as the corporate diners embarked on their second dessert, and the intensity of the cricket reflected it.
Many England fielders looked as though they had been shot with a tranquiliser gun, drifting around the outfield with distant looks, perhaps contemplating the barbecue at Simon Jones's flat later on.
Stuart Broad's spell during the afternoon session was an exercise in self-control, with the ball carrying through as if a parachute were attached to it, enabling Clarke to readjust his footwork three or four times in the process.
Matt Prior frantically shepherded his slip cordon up a few yards after one delivery from Anderson rolled through to him, at which point Strauss looked to exaggerate the point further by giving Paul Collingwood a trundle.
Collingwood's right arm nibble caused havoc for Matt Prior behind the stumps, who made a hash of conceding four byes from two consecutive balls - quite a feat at that tardy pace.
If there is one thing that Marcus North loves more than an extravagant leave - shouldering arms in a ceremonial fashion - it is to slog-sweep Panesar over mid-on, a shot he played incessantly.
As Australia's run-rate dipped below 3.5 per over with the floodlights turned on, North demonstrated that he was stoically determined to leave literally anything which was not otherwise going on to hit the stumps.
Further rain is anticipated for Day Four, but England must seize the initiative and break this latest stubborn partnership on a benign, unresponsive pitch and then, in tribute to Ken Barrington, out-prod and out-nurdle their dogged opponents.
USER COMMENTS OF THE DAY: This is really pathetic from England, really pathetic. Only the rain can save them now. What will happen in the Ashes when all these grounds get retractable roofs, like at Wimbledon? (Goatscheeseswift) Are you kidding? A roof over a cricket-sized area with no pillars; you'd be talking at least a billion pounds for certain! (Neil.Holson)
STAT OF THE DAY: Cardiff is officially Britain's wettest cricket ground, with 1061mm annual rainfall. On a more positive note, Cardiff has now hosted the first Test match in Britain to have been played under floodlights.
SHOT OF THE DAY: Ever wondered what it would be like to get an international batsman down at your local club? Clarke gave us all a glimpse by carting a decent ball from Panesar straight over the spinner's head for six, dispatching it nonchalantly over the 64 metre short boundary as if he were playing garden cricket.
England are so far out of this match now it is not even funny. North batted well though
The Aussies have shown our batters that it doesn't matter if you're a bit ordinary if you add some concentration to some grit and determination.
The Aussies have shown our batters that it doesn't matter if you're a bit ordinary if you add some concentration to some grit and determination.
It's not even worth bothering to appeal to Doctrove. He's meaner than Dickie Bird without the personality.
#3 you're right but we have to show some of what the Aussies have shown and it has to rain a lot - at least Cardiff is good for that. But first of all we've still got to get them out!
Yeh but Colly was the only one that got stuck in the first time, so not much sign of any stickability. But there again, they could all knuckle down and do us proud in the second innings...
Well Cowers, you mention Bill Lawry and Ken Barrington, but they didn't have to thrash around at Twenty20 and then remind themselves they weren't still playing it. The Aussies paid a better tribute to Lawry than the English did to Kenny.
Australia has a ground with a retractable roof - it is in melbourne and used to be called optus oval, but the name changes every year. so we have outdone you in that area as well! of course it only rains once every few years in southern australia nowadays so you would have to wonder whether it is worth it. its pitch is also often substandard and it gets few games, because there are more $ to be made at the mcg.
the current aussie team is certainly not as exciting as that of yester-year. but that is because they are not as good. it seems they know their limitations and play within them. i think that is smart cricket!
Unfortunately you're right coslb. If only England's show ponies would recognise some of their limitations and learn some basic shot selection
Summary of first test:
1. Australian batsmen did their job.
2. English batsmen didn't do their job.
End of summary.
Great stuff. Doctrove is a tool but we will skittle them out tomorrow then knock off the runs.
I agree with Eliotots view too. Pretty straight facts and England didnt bat properly
Collys bowling is so funny but he often does the job. Anderson and Broad need to pull their fingers out
North batted well but Clarke is just a pretty boy. Australia to be all out for 500 and England 300 then win.
looks like the poms are relying on the weather to save them again.
The first Test under floodlights? And the last, I hope. Bad light always has been part of the game. Let it stay that way. Which means ... no day/night Tests, either.
By the way ... who or what is Cow Corner? I think we should be told.
11. That's it, Eliotot
North - 3 test matches to date, and batting like a veteran - showing Pietersen what a bit of patience can do for an innings. WHY does Pietersen persist in making one-day/T20 shots in test match innings? I hope he'll grow up and learn from his own impetuosity.
You would have thought that Flintoff, Broad and Anderson could have got into the Aussies with a bit more life after seeing the Aussie bowlers swing it quite prodigiously but in fact they've managed to get very little out of the pitch. After all the talk of our spinners being the trump card, well, that's not proved to be the case thus far.
The Aussie batsmen gave our own top order a lesson in test match batting and their bowlers gave a pretty good account of themselves on a rather tame track, it has to be said. Come on England, pull your fingers out and make a game of this rather dull procession thus far - everything seems a bit flat and lifeless in the performance so far.
Come on England sort it out. For one thing, they can stop blaming the ball and the pitch. It is them!
Funny how England were saying how bad the Aus bowlers were! They actually look very very good now in comparsison, ha!!
England will be lucky to get a draw from this the way theyre bowling
What do you call a rat with a bat? Ricky Ponting! ha!
For goodness sake will Andrew Strauss start picking good players like Simon Jones and Steve Harmison!
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