Cow Corner Blog

England found wanting against perfect Ponting

Tue Sep 15 11:10PM

Ricky Ponting proved that nothing is more cathartic than a week playing golf and propping up the bar at Ladbrokes with a sublime 126 to lead his side to victory in the most one-sided of one-day series.

England thought that 300 would be a competitive total but Ponting and his ebullient sidekick Michael Clarke parked themselves on the road that was the wicket at Trent Bridge and refused to budge. The runs were duly knocked off with four wickets and 1.4 overs spare.

Andrew Strauss won his fifth toss in five matches, a record which renders the value of calling the Queen's Head correctly pretty pointless when you play like her Royal Highness herself afterwards. But England finally found their feet with the bat, albeit on an absolute belter of a track.

Strauss was among four players short-listed for the ICC's cricketer of the year award. Ian Bell, presumably, missed out on recognition by the width of his outside edge, while astonishingly the comically-erratic Mitchell Johnson somehow stumbled in. But it was the left-arm seamer who would close out the match later on.

After three overs were played out by the England openers in survival mode, Strauss cut loose as six boundaries in two overs were plundered to make the run-graph look like Ian Austin's cholesterol reading after a session at the chippy down the road from Old Trafford.

Strauss attempted a premeditated reverse-sweep and was given out LBW with Asad Rauf clearly deciding that the ball would have feathered the off stump on its way through. It was a very tight call which left the batsman extremely agitated as Rauf put on his bright red plastic Topman sunglasses and no doubt reminded Strauss that he should have hit it.

After he conceded five overthrows off Nathan Hauritz's bowling with a throw as wild as his bowling, Johnson was driven straight over his head by Joe Denly for four with a 'That was a Kodak moment' look of smugness on the batsman's face afterwards.

They used to say that taking Steve Waugh's wicket was like breaking into a fresh Gobstopper, but Ravi Bopara's wicket is quickly becoming known for being as soft as a Jelly Tot, and his half-chip, half-push shot which saw him caught by Hauritz off Shane Watson was a classic example.

As if performing a contrived 'wicket-keeping masterclass' with Tim Paine to demonstrate an emphatic stumping, Matt Prior walked nonchalantly half way down the wicket and without turning back simply tucked his bat under his arm.

Mike Hussey juggled a dolly of a catch before flooring it to infuriate the bowler, Watson, as Eoin Morgan had a reprieve, while moments later Cameron White shielded his eyes from the sun instead of catching Owais Shah's hoik to leave the blond all-rounder seething.

Morgan was finally dismissed for an enterprising 58 off 41 balls with a second successive reverse-paddle almost played off the wrong side proving his undoing. The squatty left-hander promptly inspected the back of his bat as if to say 'so that is why they put the stickers there then'.

Johnson was bizarrely saved to bowl the final over of the innings, a decision which proved about as sensible as giving Shah autonomy over judging singles: 18 runs came off the last six deliveries as the ICC nominee was taken to the sword by Adil Rashid and Ryan Sidebottom of all people.

Tim 'pass the Pringles' Bresnan was undoubtedly the star for England with both early wickets in Australia's reply as Watson and Paine both fell to the festively-plump Yorkshireman, who bowled a good, heavy ball.

Third umpire Nigel Llong was forced to hastily put down his Earl Grey and pack of Quavers to decide the fate of the match when Ponting danced back into his crease with Prior removing the bails. The decision was very dubious but the lightning response suggested that Llong was unimpressed at being interrupted from his extra-curriculars.

Ponting was in imperious form and he mullered two consecutive deliveries from Rashid over the bowler's head for six before informing Clarke that the middle of his bat was aching with the number of cherries imprinted upon it.

Clarke fell for a first-class second-fiddle performance after reaching his 50 before 'Mr Cricket', who spent the week ridiculing the concept of taking a rest, found that perhaps he ought to have taken one himself after he departed for a lethargic six.

As the old proverb goes, 'Cometh the hour, cometh the powerplay', and Australia waited until the 44th over to unleash it after a few shambolic overs in which England's fielders escorted the ball casually to the boundary on numerous occasions, with steam coming out of Strauss's sunhat.

Ponting's sublime innings finally came to an end when umpire Richard Kettleborough signalled a dubious wide and with the additional delivery the Australia skipper holed out to Shah at mid-on, to the delight of Broad, who moments earlier looked disgusted with life.

The stage was then set for Johnson to swipe a full-bunger from Sidebottom for six to wrap up proceedings in emphatic fashion and leave Ponting to pick up his man-of-the-match award with a grin the size of Peter Siddle's Soltan bill.

STAT OF THE DAY: The Australia captain scored his first century in one-day international cricket for one and a half years to hold the third highest tally of tons in the format with 27, behind Sachin Tendulkar (44) and Sanath Jayasuriya (28)

SHOT OF THE YEAR: Ponting skipped down the track and elegantly lofted a straight drive over Sidebottom's head for six, showing the maker's name on the face of his bat as if posing for a slow-motion commercial. A slow-mo of Sidebottom's dismayed facial expression would have been equally entertaining.

USER COMMENT OF THE DAY: "Unfortunately our county structure allows­ for average batsmen to build good scores that flatter­ their ability: Shah is one such player. His county­ statistics warrant his inclusion, but he does not have what it takes at the top strata. Graeme Hick, Mark Ramprakash, Owais Shah: he fits into that company, as does a lot of this team." (EPO_78)

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