Cow Corner Blog

Taxi for Fred

Tue May 06 01:15PM

On Monday, Andrew Flintoff made just eight as Lancashire slumped to an embarrassing two-run Friends Provident Trophy defeat to KwaZulu Natal Guest XI, or Scotland as they are sometimes known.

Today, the 30-year-old England all-rounder is in court after he was alleged to have been clocked driving at 87mph in a temporary 50mph zone of the M62.

Freddie obviously needs a chauffeur. If it's not cars, it's pedalos and we can only suggest he sits in the passenger seat on jet skis, wakeboards or anything else that moves faster than 10mph in the future.

He's not the first England player to have had trouble behind the wheel. Liam Plunkett was banned from driving for 20 months after hitting the back of another car at a set of traffic lights whilst over the limit.

We're sure the Durham bowler was aiming to miss the stationary vehicle by at least five yards but was having his all too frequent radar problems.

There are other international cricketers of recent vintage who have fought the law and lost.

In 2006, former England opener Wayne Larkins pleaded guilty to attempting to illegally obtain a mortgage and was given a given a 12 month suspended sentence.

While ex Indian opener and crackpot commentator Navjot Sidhu (who once said when Nick Knight was batting in an ODI "if the heavens throw you dates, you got to keep your mouth open") later that year was found guilty of culpable homicide after beating up a man over a parking row.

However top billing in the half of shame quite comfortably goes to the West Indian fast bowler of the thirties, Leslie Hylton.

Hylton was executed in Jamaica in 1955 after being found guilty of murdering his wife the previous year after she had confessed to adultery.

Hylton told the court that he was attempting to shoot himself but had missed - let's hope Plunkett never feels the need to top himself in a crowded room.

- - -

Last weekend was the first game of the season for most club cricketers and Cowers, still revelling in El Nino induced soft wickets, managed to claim 4-15 in an unspecified location somewhere inside the M25.

Small fry indeed compared to Sagar Kulkarni who hit 18 sixes and 23 fours in a crowd endangering Twenty20 match in Singapore. His remarkable 219 from 56 balls for Marina Club was "entertaining".

On day one of Cow Corner we launched our quest to adopt a club side of quite stunning mediocrity and we are pleased to announce that both our sides lost on Saturday.

Birdlip & Brimpsfield 2s - despite 47 from Allan Partridge - "Did you see that?! He must have a bat like a traction engine!!" made just 160 and Chalford 2 polished them off for the loss of seven wickets.

And it gets no bigger than Cambridgeshire Cricket Association Junior League Division 2C and our brave boys from Haslingfield CC were skittled for just 64 by Elmdon CC.

- - -

THE ECB CONSOLATION AWARD GOES TO: The people of Manchester who after being ignored in preference of Cardiff for next year's Ashes were rewarded with two Twenty20 matches between England and Australia.

TALKING POINT: Have we missed any cricketers who have been in a spot of mischief? Know of any incredible poor performances in your local league last weekend?

COMING UP: At 3.30pm it's Chennai v Deccan in the IPL.

Comments1 - 24 of 24

Not on the same scale as Hylton, but Boycott deserves a highly commended here. Let us not forget that he was guilty of playing a "forward defensive" on his partner causing a bit of a stir at the time, yet Geoffrey seems to have managed to shake off the wifebeater tag and carried on as before.
From g_hine on Tue May 06 02:01PM
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Hmm Mr Hine, Was he found guilty of that?
From james_a_mcnair on Tue May 06 02:31PM
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Well that was possibly the worst performance i have played in, i could possibly blame it on the pressure of having been told to give Cowers a report on the match... well maybe you can understand why you didn't hear from me!
Apart from the fact that I, as a bowler, did not get to bowl i can only be blamed for our poor batting performance which i got a third ball duck.
I have to admit after about 30 overs i did start sulking, oh well... it's only cricket!
I bet your glad you chose us to follow this season, i have a feeling we are gonna be the whipping boys of the league!
From the_kop2003 on Tue May 06 02:37PM
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Oh yeah! I forgot about the wifebeating scandal. You can tell he's such a pleasant guy.
From xdowntomylastx on Tue May 06 02:38PM
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Yes, you will remember that he was found guilty according to the court of the Sun - which, I think you'll find, is superior to the House of Lords in the hierarchy of the British Judicial system.
From g_hine on Tue May 06 03:00PM
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I think I should add a posthumous "allegedly" here in order to avoid any liable or defamation accusations
From g_hine on Tue May 06 03:02PM
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sorry "libel"
From g_hine on Tue May 06 03:02PM
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Interesting team of the season...
If any one player in the current XI is there at the end of the season, I'll eat my panama
From g_hine on Tue May 06 04:31PM
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Don't use cow corner cause cricket is a terrible sport.Perfect cure for insomnia
From samuelbanks on Tue May 06 06:00PM
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Exemplified by the fact that there has been only 10 posts.Compared to over a hundred for early doors. What exactly is the appeal of cricket? huh!
From samuelbanks on Tue May 06 06:03PM
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u forgot the kings and queens of mischief Shoaib Akhtar and Harbajan Singh
From umar2050 on Tue May 06 06:59PM
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samuelbanks - the appeal of cricket is that slack jawed simpletons like you don't get it. Now run along back to Early Doors.
From bigdavenutt on Tue May 06 07:51PM
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Thanks for the name check yesterday.....sadly I´m not the kiddies TV presenter, though I´ve been using the name a of longer than him. Thought of putting Aftab in my list of the useless, but couldn't remember his name.
Oh & ps it was Aaron Redmond's FATHER Rodney who was dropped from the test team after a hundred in his only test due to contact lens trouble.....the son has yet to make his test debut.......I can recommend a good site to check your facts gentlemen!!!
From andynpeters on Tue May 06 08:03PM
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says bigdave whos obviously a nutt job-no cricket is @#$%-end of
From samuelbanks on Tue May 06 08:04PM
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......sadly your anti-Flintoff jibes fall a little flat after he was cleared of the offence in question!
From andynpeters on Tue May 06 08:20PM
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Boycott was found guilty in a French court, I believe, of assault on his partner, but maintained his innocence in England. A deeply unpleasant man, the only England dropped after making a double century.
I feel this blog would be richer in comment if it ignored the 20 over knockabout, such a feature of playing fields in London after work in the 1970s when I lived and worked there. It is an attempt to turn cricket into some sort of feeble version of baseball. Cricket for people with a limited attention span.
From james_ssmith on Tue May 06 10:42PM
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Thank you James. I wasn't bothered enough to search the annuls, but it is good to be vindicated.
Thank you for advising me not to read Cow Corner Samuelbanks. I had not realised that cricket was such an awful sport.
Suppose I'd better resign my subscription
From g_hine on Wed May 07 09:02AM
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Ps, Mr Peters, Flintoff managed to escape prosecution by nature of a technicality, he was not cleared of the offence.
From g_hine on Wed May 07 09:05AM
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pps g Hine.....not guilty is not guilty in the eyes of the law, whether by technicality, verdict or the prosecution presenting no evidence.....he has been acquited. He didn't escape prosecution, he appeared in court
From andynpeters on Wed May 07 10:25AM
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He had a statutory defence, this doesn't make him not guilty. It just means the CPS isn't able to pursue it at court. Hence the dropped charges. Flintoff is just lucky that Lancs constabulary are more inept than his current batting.
From g_hine on Wed May 07 10:58AM
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I can remember India's opening batsman Sudhir Naik on the 1974 tour to England was nicked for shoplifting for "forgetting" to pay for some socks - I think it was at M&S.
A group of Pakistani cricketers were allegedly caught smoking dope on a West Indian beach in the early hours.
And how about Shane Warne, Shoaib Akhtar, Runako Morton and our own Sir Beefy ?
From arviemail on Wed May 07 11:12AM
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You've also forgotten "The Cat" from that list
From g_hine on Wed May 07 11:26AM
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without wishing to sound childish...
"Wankhede likely to host remaining Mumbai games" - The stadia in India have much more amusing names than our poor efforts
From g_hine on Wed May 07 12:11PM
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Yestaday, I surfe on a sugar daddy dating site sugarmingle. com, I accidently saw Ronalda's naked photos,very hot,,, I am wondering what kind of relationship he is seeking on that site.
From lindalovehorse1 on Sun May 11 02:44PM
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