Cow Corner Blog

The incredible introduction of Cow Corner

Tue Apr 15 11:25AM

Today heralds the start of a new cricket season, a day when overseas players don four jumpers in a desperate attempt to stave off the onset of hypothermia and a day when we not only launch a comprehensive live county cricket score service but a new daily cricket blog.

Cow Corner had a sheltered upbringing - it was educated from home and forfeited text books for hardback copies of Wisden Almanack with the only visual stimulation being the John Player League. "Cowers" is the illegitimate sibling of Early Doors and can often be seen on park benches around St John's Wood trying to sell signed copies of Colin Dredge’s autobiography. Cow has been known to bowl some military medium whilst wielding the long handle at the bottom of the order and answers to one God and one God only, that known as Benaud.

The first edition of Cow Corner is the online cricket blog equivalent of the assassination of John F Kennedy – a definitive "where were you when?" moment which will go down in the annals on a par with the never to be forgotten moment when Mark Ramprakash finally got into the thirties in a Test match.

If you are bored with online commentary along the lines of:

1.1 Martin to Cook, no run, forward defensive

1.2 Martin to Cook, no run, forward defensive

1.3 Martin to Cook, no run, PLEASE HIT THE THING AT SOME POINT THIS MORNING

And have found in the last couple of years our rivals’ attempts at banter has become staler than a budget loaf at Lidl (hmmm, we wonder why that could be), then Cow Corner is the place to be.

Every day of this international summer we will be updating the blog every 15 minutes from 10am to 7pm. You will be able to keep up to date with the all the action via our commentary and ball-by-ball scorecard plus we will be providing plenty of colour and a forum to discuss the day’s events.

We will be getting right to the heart of the important issues such as how long would it take Mike Gatting to eat his own body weight in pork pies and does Arnie Sidebottom know that it isn’t his son opening the bowling for England but the illegitimate child of Robert Plant.

England are playing 48 days of international cricket this summer and that means two things – Bob Willis will say "terrible England" on at least 96 occasions and Cow Corner will be giving away 48 competition prizes (for those of you who went to a state school after 1983, we will clarify – that’s one competition per day).

So Cow Corner is the place to be for all the scores, chat, irreverent discussion and most importantly the place to be for freeloaders and those wishing to boost their rating on ebay (NB: marketing have just e-mailed in to confirm that a pair of Yahoo! flip flops have been secured, we repeat flip flops)

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And it’s not just international cricket – every weekday during the summer there will be a new post on Cow Corner.

Unlike our sibling Early Doors, CC doesn’t care for early mornings with a good night’s sleep paramount after a heavy night lying on the bed having a cheeky flick through laminated magazines full of Bells, Willeys, Butts and even the occasional Sidebottom.

But by Noon we should have mustered something topical whether it be county cricket, the IPL, the ICL, the WWF or the CID and remember CLICK HERE for all the scores from around the county grounds where 29 pensioners are currently thumbing through the 2008 Saga catalogue as Azhar Mahmood asks himself why he’s not playing for the Chennai Super Kings right now.

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We also want to delve into the grass roots of the game although our early attempts to become the official online blog of the Estonian national team have been snubbed.

There are few things more English than incompetence on a cricket field, well maybe apart from building airport terminals and missing penalties.

So we wish to adopt your club team – the less talented the better. If you play for Heckmondwike 6s in Division 13b of the Bradford Half Holiday League or are hideously out of your depth at a higher standard, we want to know.

This is an unrivalled chance to ridicule players at your club on a national level – so send us your feedback below and if we get some good naff teams, we could even launch a virtual league sponsored by someone of equal incompetence – British Gas seem to fit the bill.

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QUOTE OF THE DAY: "Boris Johnson, I don’t know who he is," Sussex coach Mark Robinson (first-class innings 259, first-class runs 590) shows that his knowledge of politics is on a par with his ability to play a forward defensive.

FOREIGN VIEW: The Royal Challengers received a boost when Zaheer Khan announced that he had regained his fitness and that he would feature in the inaugural match of the Indian Premier League, when the Bangalore-based outfit take on the Kolkata Knight Riders on Friday. But no news yet on whether the Hof will be watching his side in action.

TALKING POINT: Come on become famous – enter your team or a team in your local league as a contender to become Cow Corner’s useless adopted club side of 2008.

COMING UP: Seven Championship games are up and running - VISIT THE LIVE SCORES and find out who is seeing it like a golf ball early on this season.

Comments1 - 24 of 24

County cricket is the equivalent of watching rochdale v barnet on a damp tuesday evening. 12 people, 4 dogs and chicken pie. It's for the proper supporters and not for the likes of the 20/20 glory hunters.
Bring on the pies, much more of Cow Corner and another Championship for Sussex!
The Shark
From thomson_iain112 on Wed Apr 16 11:13AM
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Are you in any way related to Early Doors? I wish Early Doors was written by a farm-yard animal... Great blog...
From rubenheimer on Wed Apr 16 11:14AM
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Morning Cow's Corner,
I think you should adopt my local team, the Mighty Haslingfield CC with an average squad age of 37 and a wonderful sit on roller, and a picturesque setting there is no-one better than this small village on the outskirts of Cambridge.
Oh, nearly forgot, we are rubbish.
From the_kop2003 on Wed Apr 16 11:17AM
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Just what I need to go with the coffee. Just a thought if its Cricket in April it must be snow stopped play somewhere!!
Guys you have just got to adopt Birdlip & Brimpsfield CC 2nd XI Last year we finished off the bottom of Div 6 Glos County League and still got relegated to Div 7 most players sink more pints of Guiness than the runs they score, the wicket keeper has a white stick and the bowlers pride themselves on not going for too many if we bat first as the total is small enough to chase. Catches are things on the loo door. Leg before is a method of transporting guiness home and anyone foolish enough to score 50 or get 5 wickets is immediately sent to the club doctor for an ego implant prior to introduction to the 1st XI Captain and not seen again.
Wardy
From theonly008uk on Wed Apr 16 11:28AM
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Nice pic of the cow, maybe you could have put Heather "i hate lawyers who dont work for me" Mills instead of that one though. and what about looking at the rest of the world's crappy cricket leagues? or is that purely and english thing, eh? either way, good start to the life of cowers!
From adogshow on Wed Apr 16 11:28AM
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Well done Cowers, just what the barmy army (armchair division) needs, a propper outlook on the perfect game. Sorry I can't nominate a local team to follow as I live in Somerset and all our stars are playing for the Cider Men.
From stevecoles332 on Wed Apr 16 12:30PM
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great start
From marklampard on Wed Apr 16 02:03PM
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I don't understand @#$% about this sport, but long life to the cow!
From blacheny on Wed Apr 16 02:07PM
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why does it have to called cows corner? long may it be so
From thomas_rea1977 on Wed Apr 16 02:27PM
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if thomas_rea knew that the technical term for "letting loose with the bat" was called a slog, he would certainly know that where the ball ends up is most often called "cow's corner". This was probably because it used to land in a field and was a suitable name.
From the_kop2003 on Wed Apr 16 02:45PM
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I'm passionate about Arsenal, but cricket was my passion. I can bore for Britain on the subject. My nomination for the worst team was Harlequins Riyadh in the mid-1980's for whom I played and wrote the match report. Some of my team mates actually started reading again as a result. But we were bad; incompetent, unfit, abusive to opponents. Wonderful days of concrete pitches, coconut matting, a stony outfield and young fir opponents from South Asia. harlequins wasa throwback (usually very wide of the stumps) to the days before WG grace introduced skill into the game. I shall reserve the story about about the camel on the pitch for a suitable occasion.
From james_ssmith on Wed Apr 16 03:07PM
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You're going to avoid stale banter so you immediately discuss Mike Gatting & pork pies.....
From crickmarina on Wed Apr 16 03:12PM
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The summary scorecards are giving balls and boundaries for the last man out but not their score?!
From crickmarina on Wed Apr 16 03:16PM
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Cow corner, what memories that brings back, there were only two areas on the ground 1) was cow corner for four 2)over cow corner for six. My highest score was 63, and when I reached 50 the opposition captain said it was the stuffiest 50 he had ever seen, I told him he was lucky, I had my eyes shut most of the time. In the same fixture the following year, as I walked out to the crease the opposition under instructions from the captain walked towards me. I thought it can't be tea yet, no, they, to a man, fielded on the leg side. I thought you cheeky b's, my first shot was two on the off, they never budged, the next shot was lashed through cow corner and them for four, the next was skyed towards cow corner and I was caught. The captain said as I walked, head down, past him, "just like shelling peas" that was respect.
From tonym2946 on Wed Apr 16 03:21PM
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cow corner? think we have plenty to beef about this summmer. cricket is for intellectualls like what i am. on a more serious note (e sharp. played for yorks) cricket is the sport of the thinking man. thinking this year we will be different. oh dear!
From rees415 on Wed Apr 16 03:27PM
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I nominate the Frogmore CC sunday side that I inherited as Captain when Andy Gardner emigrated to Merseyside. It took us until mid august to win amatch which would not have been so bad but My family were away, coming back on the monday. Hence back to my place much Newcastle Brown, Steve Millbank's simultated sex with the hoover folowed by fart lighting, bed at about 4 am.
Family arrived at 6am having driven overnight.
From oldtimekopite on Wed Apr 16 03:27PM
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never mind hasling. i played for micklehurst. i reckon we woz the best rubbish around.
From rees415 on Wed Apr 16 03:30PM
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seems i have been dismissed already. hope it was only the one finger?
From rees415 on Wed Apr 16 03:35PM
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Can't really compete for the worst team title but for anyone who thinks the great literary art form of the club match report is dying or has gone, check out www.cardiffcavaliers.com (see the section on Previous Seasons as 1st game of 2008 was rained off, now there's an unusual occurence). All the best to everyone who plays, follows and supports the great game. The Oracle
From vandjsparkes on Wed Apr 16 03:42PM
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oracle i wish you well. you poor deluded boy
From rees415 on Wed Apr 16 03:50PM
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Looks like Murray's doing the business again for Sussex, great player. Such a shame what's happened to his native country during his playing career
We would have seen more of him on the international scene, had it not been for Zimbabwe's turmoils.
From rilegg on Wed Apr 16 04:22PM
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I can nominate at team. Malvern College U15B's. Last year as U14's we went the whole season without winning a single game. We can't have scored more than 150 runs all season as we where mostly out for less than 20. We are looking like we are going to have an even worse season this year so i hope you will adopt us as useless adopted school side of 2008. ( we don't count as a club)
From weeman27bob on Wed Apr 16 08:47PM
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I love this mad corner - will come back
From max_zorglub on Thu Apr 17 11:47AM
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1
From c99m08 on Tue Aug 12 10:47PM
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