Cow Corner Blog

Going Live!

Wed May 14 11:56AM

Cow Corner is giddy as an eight-year-old on Christmas Eve.

No, it's not because it has scored tickets to the Sex and the City movie, but because England start their international summer tomorrow in the first Test against New Zealand.

What it means for Cow Corner is that it can abandon its present "scan the papers frantically for something interesting to write about" set-up, and take on a dynamic live format instead.

Cowers will be strapping on its several-sizes-too-big pads, slipping a 'youth' box into its borrowed jockstrap, shunning a helmet for its Richie Richardson-style floppy hat and striding confidently out to the middle.

Every 15 minutes from 10am there will be a new update on the action at Lord's, plus plenty of reader interaction and the usual guff.

There is a good reason why tickets are still widely available for the New Zealand series - after all, why would you bother turning up in person when you can enjoy comprehensive coverage and whipcrack banter right here?

With heavy showers forecast for tomorrow, expect plenty of fevered discussion on the relative merits of Victoria sponge versus Dundee cake, and whether Cow Corner's adopted team Birdlip & Brimpsfield 2s should employ a second spinner at the weekend.

So join us bright and early tomorrow as we watch Matthew Hoggard not carrying the drinks while rain sheets down on St John's Wood.

- - -

It is a sad day when a bat is excluded from a game of cricket simply because of the colour of its varnish.

The MCC has long been known as a preserver of traditional values in cricket, but Cow Corner thinks it has gone too far with new laws brought in last week.

Rules were ostensibly revised to outlaw handles made of titanium and carbon fibre. But the MCC have sparked a race row by sneaking in a clause banning any alterations to the colour of bats.

It just so happens that black bats are the trademark of Allen Stanford, the Texan billionaire who has put up £50 million for a five-match series between England and the West Indies.

Stanford has threatened to pull out if he can't have black bats, and for once Cowers thinks a Texan billionaire has got it right.

It is clear discrimination and a bitter blow to black bats everywhere, whose hopes of being wielded by a Pietersen or a Gayle hang in the balance.

Cowers calls on the MCC to reconsider its stance and allow these innocent victims to follow their dreams.

- - -

The ECB are kicking around an idea to reduce County Championship matches from four to three days - which is still two-and-a-half too many for most people's tastes.

The proposal, from former Lancashire spinner Jack Simmons, recommends increasing the number of overs bowled each day to 120.

Judging by current over rates. Play would have to start at 6.30am, with only the slimmest chance of finishing by nightfall if both sides agree to forfeit their breaks for meals.

Can't see the likes of Rob Key and Ian Blackwell going for that, somehow.

- - -

TALKING POINT: Day two of the great Ryan Sidebottom giveaway! Well, we're not so much giving away Ryan Sidebottom as a Yahoo! biro, which is almost as good.

A first person to guess correctly how many wickets the Sideshow Bob look-alike will take in the Test series against New Zealand gets the swag.

Incidentally, 9, 10, 12, 13, 14, 17 and 18 have already gone. You know it's only three Tests, right?

Cow Corner goes for Pernod, craig.washington opts for Pimms - the great cricket beverage debate goes on, as this contribution from nickbroberts shows: "Now Arnie Sidebottom - there was a guy. A childhood hero of mine, despite the Man U connection. I remember nipping out of 6th Form to go down to Headingley to watch him - and for the record, it was always a pint of Tetleys in those days, never Pimms..."

Today's question - Beer? Spirits? Absinthe? What's your preferred poison for a day at the cricket?

LIVE TODAY: Mark Ramprakash is after his 100th first-class century, although it took him 18 balls to get off the mark. Find out if he gets it with our live County scorecards:

Comments1 - 20 of 20

Ack, Sidebottom will take 5 methinks. As for the drink, it depends on the weather: beer if it's sunny, absinthe if it's raining and I want to go home.
From mike_deacon2003 on Wed May 14 12:28PM
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Anything that knocks me clean out! (only kidding)
From samuelbanks on Wed May 14 12:50PM
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Its a good question today Cows. Thats the sort of thing that will guarantee you more posts. To give a serious answer to your question; my favourite poison for a day at the cricket is Cyanide. No you know im only kidding.I find you can't beat a nice can of cider for a day at the cricket.
From samuelbanks on Wed May 14 01:00PM
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sidebum to get 11
From gremlin_the_cat on Wed May 14 01:45PM
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GOT TO BE GOOD OLD BLACKTHORN(WITH A SMIDGE OF BLACK CURRENT)
From daveharris63 on Wed May 14 01:59PM
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I guessed 14 yesterday. That was dumb. I was caught up in the excitement of the pen competition. And its possible I'd had a couple of pre-cricket ales. I'm going for a far more sensible 6 wickets today. And the best cricket drink? Definitely Purple-headed s**tkickers - Half guiness, half cider topeed with blackcurrant. Mmmmm.
Anyone going tomorrow? I'm relying on the radio and various scorecards but plan to get on the aforementioned PHSKs on friday and saturday. Although i heard there's a chance of rain.
From rubenheimer on Wed May 14 02:15PM
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On the subject of drinks... can anyone out there confirm or deny the story I've heard about the Asutralian cricket authorities a few years ago banning the use of "beer wenches"? As I've heard it, it was a practice employed by groups of men attending test matches but not wanting to miss any of the action. They employ an escort/streetwalker (depending on their budget) to parade around in a bikini all day and make trips to the bar.
From c_e_davison on Wed May 14 02:22PM
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WOW! Why haven't I heard of Beer Wenches before? I can't believe it. What a great idea. Cricket grounds should emply such people to keep us suitably lubricated during a day. Why don't any grounds sell drinks straight to punters in their seats?
And while we're on the subject, I'd like to see more beer snakes this year. It was about te only thing keeping me entertained during some of the abysmal cricket against India last year.
From rubenheimer on Wed May 14 02:40PM
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I don't understand all this talk of cricket drinks. There can only ever be one cricket drink - tea. That's why India and Pakistan enjoy the game - they produce all the tea, and the rest of the Commonwealth drinks it.
From gilesmthomas on Wed May 14 02:41PM
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Sidebottom WILL get 19 wickets. I always thought that bats were dark brown with fluffy bits, flew around at night and some had pointed teeth and a penchant for blood. Apparently they are now Texas black and fly around changing rooms - perhaps money can get you anything.(Except from the M.C.C.)
From cafeclemence on Wed May 14 02:48PM
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Cold, fizzy lager if I am at the game - or vodka martini with lime and loads of ice if I am chilling to the radio in the garden...
From garethcoletranslations on Wed May 14 02:57PM
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All this talk reminds me of one time I knocked off school with a friend of mine to go to watch Yorkshire v Somerset in the quarter-final of the B&H - Somerset players including Botham, Richards, Garner and of course the Demon of Frome, all rather more interesting than our own team...well, OK, perhaps Colin Dredge wasn't, after all.
I nipped off to get the beers (Boycott was batting!), and on my return found my friend talking to - the Deputy Head. Caught banged to rights, all I could do was apologise for not buying him a pint. Next day back at school it turned out 15 of us had had similar ideas. The other 13 all got detentions, whereas we got off scot free for admitting our guilt.
From nickbroberts on Wed May 14 02:59PM
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Given that 9 through 14 are all taken, I'll take Sidey for 15. I think that's slightly more likely than 8. Am I the only one who thinks he's trying to look like the 1970s version of Roger Daltrey?
From button_hitter on Wed May 14 03:00PM
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Depends on the weather. Used to be a cup of hot soup. Now with global warming something more cooling. I would say Pimms with plenty of lemonade and cu@#$%ber rather than beer if only to reduce trips to the toilets.
From james_ssmith on Wed May 14 03:18PM
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Although I accept that Pimms is a useful way of eating a salad whilst imbibing alcohol, it all sounds a bit MCC for me. The correct beverage is without doubt a pint.... and in answer to the above, it is well do@#$%emted that anything exciting always happens whilst on a run to the beer tent or to the loo, so the more pints the better...obviously sending someone else to get the pints . I have tried sending someone else to the loo, however for some reason both options seem to end in damp trousers ( I expect the beer wenches would have a similar effect) I will take the missing 11 for Sidey if still available please thankyou... Pernod Cowey!!!! very european.
From terrysmith2104 on Wed May 14 04:11PM
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‘A cricket ground is probably the only place in the world where you can enjoy a drink without fear of being beaten up or spat at’. Samuelbanks.
From samuelbanks on Wed May 14 04:51PM
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The Hong Kong 7s used to be great. Carling and Fosters used to have their beer girls (in skimpy but decorous outfits) circulating with canisters of beer on their back and pressure hoses to decant the beer into 3 litre plastic jugs. Of course, being hard-working Hong Kong Chinese they were extremely fast and incredibly efficient with the beer dispensing and the change giving.
From falveyphk on Wed May 14 05:38PM
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I'll take Ryan for 16 All Black scalps, please, Cowers... oh... and you can't beat a nice cool pint of Tetley's (but it's horrible in plastic!!!)
From hornystevers on Wed May 14 06:11PM
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The Editor/writer of Cow Corner is former England cricket captain David Gower. Eurosport originally wanted to call Cow Corner-Gower's Corner but decided it would be much too cheesy. So they opted for an old fashioned cricket term instead. No actually, thats rubbish.
From samuelbanks on Wed May 14 06:54PM
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as far as drinks are concerned mines a pint or 5 of the blond with the black dress ,as far as the match is concerned i hope its very competitive and england win of course
From djzion09 on Wed May 14 08:04PM
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