Cow Corner Blog

Fred is back as wickets tumble

Wed Jul 16 01:27AM

6.38PM - SA 101-3 (29 overs) - Ashwell Prince works both bowlers off his pads for boundaries and that's stumps after an eventful day. Join us tomorrow for more.

SCORECARD | MATCH GALLERY     

6.15PM - SA 82-3 (25 overs) - WICKET! More success for England late in the day as Kallis chops Anderson onto his stumps. Then drama as Amla gets a leading edge off Flintoff and Vaughan takes a diving "catch" at mid-off. The batsman is three quarters of the way towards the pavilion before the outraged visiting dressing room send him back. After a lengthy review, third umpire Richard Kettleborough says not out with replays inconclusive as they so often are in these scenarios. Boos from the 17,000 crowd who have consumed about 235,000 pints of Tetley's between them.

6PM - SA 69-2 (22 overs) - Smith works Anderson through mid-wicket for a boundary and Amla cuts the Burnley bronco to the fence. WICKET! But then Freddie strikes. He comes around the wicket to Smith who fends a lifting delivery to Strauss who takes a fine low catch at first slip.

5.45PM - SA 58-1 (19 overs) - Freddie is getting a bit of a head of steam up as he hits Amla on the helmet. Graham Gooch is also getting a bit annoyed, saying of Pattinson's inclusion:

"The international game is in danger of being devalued if we have many more selections like this.
"Can you switch from being a proud Australian to a passionate Englishman overnight?
"I grew up in London watching great men like Ken Barrington, Colin Cowdrey and Fred Trueman play for their country.
"Representing England is more than just cricket, more than just a game or a pay packet. It's a tremendous honour, and it should be treated as such by players and the selectors. Is this what playing for your country has come to?"

5.30PM - SA 51-1 (16 overs) - WICKET! McKenzie drives Anderson through extra cover for a boundary to bring up the fifty but he goes next ball as he is squared up and old bucket hands Flintoff takes a good low catch at second slip.

5.15PM - SA 47-0 (13 overs) - Ooooff!! McKenzie rocks back and pulls Broad through mid-wicket. Anderson is back but well down on pace. This three day break looks to be taking its' toll.

5PM - SA 39-0 (9 overs) - I'm not sure what roller Smith asked for but the pitch is not doing much and the sun has just come out. The captain pushes Anderson down the ground for a fourth boundary and Pattinson's display of stunning mediocrity means Flintoff is into the attack. But he is too leg-side and is clipped to the fence by McKenzie. Someone has had a little too much Loud Mouth Soup and we have a fully clothed streaker who is hacked to the floor by a steward, very much in the style of Claudio Gentile. Broad on at the Rugby Stand End and guess what - more fours! Smith cutting late behind backward point on two occasions. On the bright side at least we are good at riding bikes fast - Cavendish wins again in Le Tour.

4.45PM - SA 19-0 (6 overs) - Pattinson gets one to fizz at Smith but he is then driven down the ground by the SA skipper on two occasions before being cut behind square for yet another boundary. Three overs for 16 and quite frankly, very average so far.

4.30PM - SA 4-0 (3 overs) - Pattinson, who is the new Kabir Ali who was the new Mike Smith who was the new Peter Martin who was the new Martin Bicknell who was the new Neil Mallender who was the new Steve Watkin, gets the new ball. About 85mph but no swing yet. By the way those seamers all made their debuts at Headingley.

4PM - England 203 (52.3 overs) - WICKET! Pattinson's second ball is a leading edge down to third man for four runs and the 200 arrives as Morkel fires down five wides - not sure that even pitched on the cut part. But the sorry innings comes to an end as the debut boy edges Steyn through to Boucher who collects his fifth victim.

sir_skillalot - we will have a competition rollover. Indeed we will do it after tea. Some Yahoo! flip flops plus the golf balls for the person to tell me how many runs Pattinson will concede in his first five overs of Test cricket.

3.45PM - England 188-9 (49 overs) - WICKET! Morkel digs one in short to Monty Panesar who meekly fences it straight to de Villiers.  Debut boy Pattinson is batting below Monty so we can only assume he is unsure which end to hold. A top first-class score of 33.

3.30PM - England 181-8 (46 overs) - WICKETS! A wild flat footed swish from Flintoff to a short wide delivery from Steyn and he gets an edge through to Boucher. An ugly end to an ugly 28-ball innings and habitkwe wins the golf balls. Then Broad plays a loose drive to a full delivery from Morkel outside off and de Villiers takes a sharp catch above his head at fourth slip.

Talking of ugly we are enjoying the debate about ugly cricketers but there is one clear winner, step up the Nawab of Pataudi.

3.15PM - England 173-6 (43 overs) - Stuart Broad is playing like the real Clive Lloyd as he plays a lavish cover drive off Kallis before flicking Steyn to the square leg fence and cutting him over the top of the slips.

To celebrate CMJ has just brought around a plate of Garibaldis. Garibaldi, Italian revolutionary, ends up as a kind of biscuit. It's quite interesting, you know, the number of biscuits that are named after revolutionaries. You've got your Garibaldi, of course, you've got your Bourbons, then of course you've got your Peek Freens Trotsky Assortment.

3PM - England 154-6 (40 overs) - Flintoff is playing like Clive Lloyd. Not the former West Indies captain but the postman from Altrincham. Anyway it's good enough as he slashes a rank long hop from Morkel to the fence. More boundaries come via a streaky uppish drive past backward point and a loose cut shot. He needs to be a hero now as WICKET! Bell looks to drive Kallis again but it's two foot wide of off and all the Sherminator succeeds in doing is dragging the ball into his middle stump.

2.45PM - England 137-5 (37 overs) - Bell drives Kallis through the covers and then it's Freddie time. Ntini's first ball is met by a flat footed drive which is in the air but beyond the slip cordon and four runs. Flintoff has not made it to 20 in ten of his last 14 Test innings. Bell then drives Kallis past mid-on and it's time for a drink - 1/2 a pernod.

2.30PM - England 123-5 (34 overs) - WICKET! Ambrose hooks Steyn to the fence but he then edges Ntini through to Boucher as he feels for one after the bowler goes around the wicket. The brittle England middle order is now exposed and here's Freddie who gets a big cheer despite being from the other side of the Pennines. First ball, he's right in line and defends it down the pitch.

2.15PM - England 113-4 (32 overs) - Flintoff is padded up and next in. With Tim Ambrose at the wicket, he should be ready as the keeper managed just 10 runs in the disappointing NatWest Series against New Zealand

2PM - England 109-4 (29 overs) - It's a runs safari as Pietersen works a too straight a line from Ntini through the leg-side for a pair of boundaries and Bell drives him down the ground. Pietersen then thumps Steyn through the covers and everything looks good until WICKET! A little too much hubris from KP who after hitting 18 from nine balls since lunch plays a flat footed drive to a good length Steyn delivery and Smith takes the catch at second slip.

1.45PM - England 80-3 (25 overs) - Pietersen must have had a good scoff at lunch as he's come back after the adjournment with some vigour. Cutting a Steyn buffet ball to the fence before driving with alacrity past mid-on.

1.30PM - We have just had a gander around the Western Terrace and can confirm that several members of the public are already what is technically known as "seven sheets to the wind". Expect carnage on the bowling green at the Original Oak tonight.

1PM - England 70-3 (24 overs) - WICKET! Morkel goes around the wicket to make Strauss play and the left-hander fences at a good length delivery to hand Boucher a routine catch behind the stumps. Pietersen smashes Jacques Kallis straight past a static Steyn at mid-on for his second boundary and Ian Bell drives Ntini down the ground but still a good morning for South Africa. At least Tim Ambrose is not batting at six....oh damn he is.

12.45PM - England 57-2 (21 overs) - If you catch the replays tonight you'll see AB de Villiers appeal for a catch at third slip that has gone straight through his hands. Strauss is reprieved after referral, no wicket for Morkel and de Villiers gets the bird from the crowd - we thought he was an upstanding Christian. He should expect some words when he bats and maybe the match refereee will get involved. Cowers suggests roasting the hell out of AB with a pomposity pistol.

12.30PM - England 55-2 (18 overs) - This outfield is wetter than Leon Brittan ("mmm, that's good satire!") but Strauss' pull off Morkel goes for three to bring up the 50. Then he drives the near 2 metre fast bowler past mid-on for his third boundary after driving square to the pickets in his previous over. Morkel certainly won't need a ladder when he puts the Christmas decorations up in Vereeniging.

12.15PM - England 41-2 (15 overs) - WICKET! Steyn gets Vaughan once again. Some nice away movement and the England skipper prods tentatively at a full length delivery to Smith at second slip. It could have been three as the quickie goes up for a big appeal against Kevin Pietersen. Hawkeye shows it would have smashed into the middle of the leg-stump but umpire Harper says no and then KP responds by hooking the fast bowler into the Western Terrace.

NOON - England 26-1 (12 overs) - WICKET! Morkel has just strangled Cook down the leg-side. Not in a Kenneth Bianchi sort of way but in a feather edge through to Mark Boucher sort of way. Actually it's a rank bad decision from Billy Bowden as there was no willow involved, just the bottom of the thigh pad.

11.45AM - England 23-0 (9 overs) - Strauss cuts Ntini to the fence and Cook drives on the up through the covers for three. He had taken 21 wickets in seven Tests before this tour but now looks a shadow of his former self. Smith has seen enough and Morne Morkel comes on.

swads43 - it's not a stupid quiz question. A stupid quiz question would be "Why do Ants go to discos?" And where's the erudite james ssmith - I hope we havent upset him.

11.30AM - England 13-0 (5 overs) - It's not a quick pitch. Indeed it is slower than a remedial reading class and Cook has all the time in the world to pull Steyn past square leg for another four.

robinkillner was the winner of Monday's fleece with his answer of 19. E-mail your postal details to cow.corner@yahoo.co.uk. We post to all major locations apart from Guam, American Samoa and Skipton.

11.15AM - England 8-0 (2 overs) - After an eight minute delay we get going. Some early swing for Dale Steyn but Andrew Strauss drives him down the ground for two to get the scoreboard moving. Ashwell Prince does an early impression of Bambi on Ice as he slips on the wetfield and even though Dude Where's Makhaya has a packed offside field, Alastair Cook manages to pierce it with a cut to the fence.

It's competition time! To win a pack of three golf balls - yes three - simply tell me how many balls Andrew Flintoff will face today. If you don't play golf then they can still come in useful as a missile for chasing away ASBOs from bus stops.

11AM - The pitch is cold and damp and it looks a good toss to win. A brief showers has prevented a prompt start but it should be only a matter of minutes. Pattinson had planned to go to Alton Towers with the kids today but instead he is making his debut and in his pre-match interview, he sounded as English as vegemite. Chris Tremlett must be pulling his hair out after being named in the initial squad and then missing out. And what about Matthew Hoggard on his home ground - he is a swing bowler. And we've not even mentioned Simon Jones or Steve Harmison. Very weird.

10.45AM - 29-year-old Pattinson only arrived to play in England at the top level this summer having grown up in Victoria, Australia. The former roof tiler was born in Grimsby and was not even in the original squad. He was summoned yesterday after only six first-class matches for Nottinghamshire. Very much a horses for courses selection - there's been loads at Leeds down the years. We will get a list to you soon but we remember Mike Smith and Steve Watkin.

10.30AM - South Africa win the toss and elect to bowl. Graeme Smith said there is "weather around". Well there's always weather around but we think he's just missed the key word "dodgy". Neil McKenzie is fit so the Proteas are unchanged. Michael Vaughan reveals he has only seen Pattinson bowl in a Twenty20 match and doesn't know much about him - join the club!

10.15AM - Nottinghamshire's Darren Pattinson has been handed a shock debut. Sidebottom has been ruled out through injury while Paul Collingwood has been dropped. We are genuinely shocked.

10AM - Flintoff will definitely play today, but he has revealed that he is more than happy to stay in the ranks from now on, saying he has no intention of ever captaining his country again...

We know that Freddie Flintoff is returning to the side - but who will he replace? And what of the fitness of Ryan Sidebottom and James Anderson? When we know, you'll know...

Have you any thoughts on how the second Test might go? Perhaps you had a dream last night? Let us know. Last night, I dreamt I was at a Japanese wedding, and a crazy woman was shouting at me and chasing me through a medievil-style hotel. Not very pleasant. 

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