It's red, round and weighs about five ounces.
Tue May 27 11:19AM
Two incidents over the weekend in two different Test matches are a reminder that sport hurts.
Young New Zealand batsman Daniel Flynn woke up on Saturday morning looking like Ricky Hatton's sparring partner after having his front tooth knocked out by a James Anderson bouncer.
And the blow, which also cracked one of his lower teeth, contributed to England's victory as the pugnacious left-hander took no further part in the match.
Flynn, like many of those in fancy dress in the cheap seats at Old Trafford on Friday, suffered a groggy and sleepness night of nausea and vomiting.
Cowers once defended a short corner in hockey with his gums and has a lot of sympathy for the Kiwi.
And over in Kingston (trench town, not leafy Surrey), Shivnarine Chanderpaul had to have a brain scan after taking a heavy blow to the back of the head from a Brett Lee bouncer which sent him crashing to the ground.
"I did not know where I was, my entire body went numb. I could not move my hands and I could not move my feet," Chanderpaul said after regaining consciousness.
The fact that he got back on his feet, eventually, and completed a century underlines that Shiv protects his wicket with the vigour you would protect your new Russian supermodel girlfriend if you took her for a date around the Wormwood Scrubs exercise yard, two months into the governor's ban on Congenial visits.
Of course, rearranged faces are part and parcel of Test cricket; Mike Gatting famously had part of the bridge of his nose embedded in the ball after a Malcolm Marshall bouncer in Jamaica.
Lillee and Thompson, Hall and Griffith, Trueman, Larwood etc etc - these guys were all as quick as Lee or Shoaib Akthar but batsmen had to face them with only their box and thigh pad (check out the great clips on the Inter-web of Brian Close chesting away a Michael Holding over).
It seems unfathomable that it was only 30 years ago that Mike Brearley and Dennis Amiss introduced the helmet to international cricket - a contraption that was later used by the builder in The Village People.
Amiss' version, which could "take a double-barrel shotgun from 10 paces," has been streamlined and modified ever since but only when his eyes had gone did Viv Richards don the lid and Cowers can never remember Richie Richardson wearing a helmet, instead preferring the wide-brimmed maroon hat that cast a three-yard shadow over the wicket.
Whilst we miss Sir Isaac Viv Richards swaggering to the wicket, jaws champing on the omnipresent stick of gum - we don't blame anyone coming out to the middle looking like they've just decamped from Basra.
- - -
"So Monty's gone from folk hero to hate object within the space of a couple of years. Saviour one minute, to being dropped, recalled and rubbished for appealing. Maybe we all ought to be a bit more reasonable in managing expectations" wrote j.watling last week in response to the Dull Monty.
Well, he did miss the point that there is little doubt that Panesar is the best slow bowler England have had since Derek Underwood.
The point we made was not that Cowers thinks Monty is a bad person, just that he is ball-achingly boring.
After taking a career best 6-37 and winning the man of the match, we would have loved for him to say, "Yeah man, we stuck it right up em. Sir Edmund Hillary, Peter Jackson, Dame Kiri Te Kanawa, Neil Finn, Frank Nobilo, Jonah Lomu, Russell Crowe - your boys took one hell of a beating."
Instead we got: "For us to turn it around and end on a positive note was a good sign for us. We knew we had to bowl them out if we were going to be in this game."
Thanks Monty.
- - -
TALKING POINT: What's the worst injury you've ever seen on a cricket pitch and which cricketer gives good interviews.
CRANKY SIMON HUGHES QUOTE OF THE DAY: "Strauss had talked recently of changing to a lighter bat and he used it in this match to sculpt his runs with a silky touch. Instead of straining for pugnacious dominance he kept his flashing blade sheathed, trusting his knack of accumulating runs with nurdles and neat deflections."
FEEDBACK COMMENT OF THE TEST: In response to the spamtastic "I am lucy. A beautiful woman from New York. Internet is a quite good place to meet friends and even find whatever your need. i am just in the beginning of my career and want to find a rich man, maybe to be my sugar daddy. so i uploaded my hot sexy even nude photos," andynpeters pipes up: "But what do you consider a winning lead on this pitch Lucy?"
LIVE TODAY: It's taken ever longer than a Roger Waters guitar solo but the IPL group stage is nearly over. Chennai are currently on 14 points and victory in their final match against Deccan at 3.30pm will see them in the IPL semis.
Cowers... please... "It's taken ever longer than a Roger Waters guitar solo" Roger was teh bass player with Pink Floyd. David Gilmour is the man responsible for those superb lilting, melodic solos (As a Pink Floyd fan, I know, trust me)
As for the worst injury... you'd have to go a long way to beat that Gatt incident. Shiv showed remarkable courage to complete his ton before going to hospital.
From elmhurst99 on Tue May 27 12:00PMCowers - I am disappointed... Sir Vivian Richards NEVER ( I categorically repeat ) NEVER wore a helmet in his playing days and his eyes were never "gone".. In fact it was Richie Richardson who resorted to wearing helmets at the later stages of his career - you owe an apology to Smokin' Joe..
From arviemail on Tue May 27 12:24PMThe worst injury I have seen on a cricket field was in a club match back in Calcutta, India in the 1970's in the pre-helmet days when a demonic fast bowler hurled a bouncer - the batsman fended it off and the ball first hit his left forearm (breaking it) and then thudded on to his mouth, knocking out more than a couple of teeth.. I will never forget the thud which I heard whilst fielding at mid on..
Sadly, the two worst injuries that I have heard of have both been fatal - first was my uncle (mum's younger brother) who was felled by a bouncer to his temple and died immediately. The second was ex-Indian opener Raman Lamba who died whilst fielding at short leg in a match in Bangladesh - a full blooded pull hit him on the head..
Hey Cowers, you bring back sad memories with this sort of question you know..From arviemail on Tue May 27 12:40PMFinally, the cricketer who gives good interviews must be the Sri Lankan wicketkeeper Kumar Sangakkara - the man is multi-talented, he is a well-spoken lawyer as well and his vocabulary and choice of words is amazing - but for sheer comic value, the award should go to Inzamam-ul-Huq
From arviemail on Tue May 27 12:44PMSuch flattery CC (though sadly no response from Lucy!!!!) Plus, since I was the only one not to think Vettori would be unplayable yesterday, I scored the keyring.....does life get better than this???
From andynpeters on Tue May 27 01:16PMWith comments like this, it is difficult to laugh off health and safety as a joke. Whatever the reasons for not taking up HawkEye or other computer technology, all sports should (and do tend to) move with the times for protective equipment. It is a shame that protection is so much more expensive than the basic equipment needed. Some may think that batting or fielding short without a helmet makes you macho, but there's little masculinity in having to have somebody else dress you because your CNS has stopped functioning properly.
From g_hine on Tue May 27 01:23PMBtw, You missed Ngaio Marsh from your list of famous non-cricketing Kiwis (Although, like Hillary, she's dead)
From g_hine on Tue May 27 01:31PMSimon Hughes - To$$er
From g_hine on Tue May 27 01:32PMGhine....I assume that for many people the risk of physical injury adds to the appeal of a sport (not to me though). If you really wanted to make cricket much safer, surely a rubber ball would do the trick? I suspect it would not be a popular move with many people.
From andynpeters on Tue May 27 01:38PMNo, I disagree. even wearing protection does not make one impervious to injury (like Flynn, say) . Protection mitigates against the risk. Watersports are fairly risky, but only a lunatic would partake in these sports without knowing how to swim.
Likewise F1 is still exciting even though the safety record has improved exponentially since the 70's
My problem, is that the cost and a fond rememberance of those who did not wear such items, stigmatise protection.
Risk should be managed to an acceptable level
I am not saying that it shouldn't be scary to face a delivery from a fast-bowler. I just think that any sport-related death is one too many.
From g_hine on Tue May 27 02:00PMg_hine and andynpeters - i ask you this question - what is sport and what is not ?
look at boxing - if the same act was committed outside the ring, the two participants would be hauled to the nearest police station and charged with assault or GBH.
Similarly F-1 if the driver did the same thing out of the track, he would be done in for speeding and banned from driving..
should we justify normal unlawful acts just by making people do it in a confined space and enjoying the result ?From arviemail on Tue May 27 02:09PMwhat i mean to say is (a) the objective of boxing is to knock the opponent out and (b) the objective of F-1 is to make your car go as fast you can past other drivers : now both are criminal offences if committed in normal life - this is not true of any other sport. Should we pardon criminal offences in the name of sport just because it is not committed in public but in designated "sports" arenas ?? The people who devised and manage these so-called sports need their heads tested
From arviemail on Tue May 27 02:16PMAh philosophy...
There are a great number of pastimes that I think are classifiable as sport. As long as they follow a strict code, then accidents should be few and far between.
But yes, boxing is a peculiar sport. The combatants are encouraged to beat each other up to the point of knocking the opponent out. And then if long-term damage is sustained, the winner is vilified by the very same papers that were hyping the fight in the first place.From g_hine on Tue May 27 02:21PMWhy was South Africa not awarded man(men?) of the match having scored 234 of Englands 496 runs?.From Vic in Cape Town.
From koornhoop on Tue May 27 02:21PMjust look at Muhammad Ali - I am sure he will give back all his titles, medals etc. just to get up in the morning and lead a normal life
and Ayrton Senna ? we don't even have him to know what he would have preferred..From arviemail on Tue May 27 02:41PMI don't think Ali's Parkinson's was brought on by boxing-related injury... forgive me if I'm wrong, but I thought Parkinson's was a congenital illness
From g_hine on Tue May 27 03:01PM...and if some bloke started chucking darts around in my local bar (we don't have a dartboard) I'd think it was a bit rum too - and that's not even a sport.
But surely the point of any sport is to be the best you can at it. For a racing driver you don't need to travel at 180mph to prove this as long as the drivers you are competing against are restricted to the same cars but in most forms of racing you must not forget that the teams are not the individual drivers but more importantly the manufacturers. So it is each manufacturer trying to outdo the other and to build the fastest car. The only limiting factors being the ability of the driver and the physical constraints imposed by any particular circuit. Move F1 to oval circuits and fill the cars with a monotonous stream of robots (shurely already done somewhere) and the cars will get faster; move it to the side streets of Muswell Hill and it will probably get slower.
The thing is that while driving slow cars around North London might still be a sport - and so would boxing even if you made them all dress up in cotton wool and promise not to hurt each other - would anyone pay to watch it or sponsor it? If not then would anyone pay the sportsmen to compete? This would make them all amateurs and if I'm not wrong this largely sums up amateur sport as it already stands. So all you need to do is get rid of professional sport.
But then let's not forget rugby - which has a long and illustrious list of "amateur" casualties and which would also probably be against the law on a public pavement.
And anyway I'm pretty sure you can't take an F1 car on the road.
From bertie.nunn on Tue May 27 03:45PMI have also heard that studies conclude that if you were to replace the air-bags in every car with large metal spikes the number of accidents would probably go down as everyone would be forced to pay a wee bit more attention to what they were doing and maybe, just maybe, put down their bloody mobile phones and stop doing their make-up.
From bertie.nunn on Tue May 27 03:51PMI always apply my make-up whilst driving. The wife won't let me do it at home
From g_hine on Tue May 27 04:29PMGetting knocked out by a boxing glove and fist, is different to being knocked out by 3 thugs with glass bottles with knives, continually kicking the preverbial out of you until you end up in the crematorium, as there are rules of combat in boxing. As for speed limits in F1, the drivers make mistakes due to car failure, or driver error at extremely high speeds, speed limits were introduced because dopey idiots who shouldn't be allowed near a petrol lawn mower, let alone a car, couldn't drive along a straight motorway at a speed above a recommended 70mph without crashing it up a tree. Perhaps football should be banned, 22 blokes kicking a ball round a field, spitting away, perhaps someone could catch something, slip over on it and file a health and safety law suit or when a player goes within 2 yards of another and falls over, the ref ought to send the fouling player's team, management, and fans off and the team automatically relegated from the league, or would banned for life be more suitable?
From markkeats on Tue May 27 04:49PMVery funny, but the facts speak for themselves. Instilling a Health and Safety mentality in all but the extreme idiots (and Jeremy Clarkson) has reduced work and leisure-related deaths to something of a rarity. This is a good thing
From g_hine on Tue May 27 05:11PMA while back, Devon Malcolm stopped a Barnes Wallace with his bonce during a test once. That incident sent me to sports shop damn pronto for a helmet!! Does anyone remember that incident in more detail??
From richardpmjones on Tue May 27 05:49PMRe: arviemail - I wouldn't be so sure about a lot of sports people not being willing to take the risk. F1 especially, they go in knowing the risk. What is life without a little risk?
From claudiadennis77 on Tue May 27 07:26PM"What is life without a little risk?"....generally a little longer Claudia
From andynpeters on Tue May 27 07:48PMGhine ol' fellow. Ali's Parkinson's was broght about by taking a large number of blows to the head. It is NOT a genital disease. For genital diseases, see football, preferably Brazilian. You get the gist.
From eliotot on Wed May 28 11:40AMRisk generates adrenalin, which in turn lengthens life. You got it wrong, Andy.
From eliotot on Wed May 28 12:42PMDepends if your risks pay off eliotot.....and I think your claim that adrenalin lengthens life is highly dubious.....about on a par with calling Parkinson's "genital" when it might well be congenital, which is a different thing entirely
From andynpeters on Wed May 28 02:05PMrush of adrenalin has been directly linked to increased blood pressure and heart attacks
From arviemail on Wed May 28 02:18PM... and where the hell is cow today ? it is past 2 pm ????
From arviemail on Wed May 28 02:19PMParkinson's is primarily caused by head trauma, thus it leads me to believe that a number of blows to the head brings about the trauma needed for someone to suffer from the disease.
From zeeram_v on Wed May 28 02:21PM
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