Cow Corner Blog

An attractive package

Fri May 30 01:06PM

The England one-day squad contained one mild surprise and one troubling insight into the ECB's selection process.

The woefully out-of-form Tim Ambrose (recent scores 5, 11, 31, 0, 3) got the nod over Matthew Prior (six scores over 50 this season - more than anyone else) and the incumbent Phil Mustard in the wicketkeeper slot.

Selector Geoff Miller said the decision "reflects our desire to use the same wicketkeeper in both the long and short forms of the game." A rubbish one.

Again, Cowers doesn't really understand the need for consistency. Surely the first and only criterion should be who you think is going to play the best.

A slightly baffling decision, perhaps, but not as shocking as Miller's revelation that a size of a man's box directly affects his chances of representing his country.

Justifying Graeme Swann's inclusion ahead of Monty Panesar, Miller said he preferred the Notts man "from a package point of view".

That being the case, Cowers can only conclude that, in Monty's case, the 'big hands equals big manhood' theory does not apply.

And Alistair Cook must be spectacularly well-endowed to get the selectors to overlook his glacially-slow scoring rate and include him in the limited overs side.

- - -

The shy and retiring Shane Warne has used his column in today's Times to gloat about how well his IPL franchise, the Rajasthan Royals, are doing.

"Over the past week or ten days, people over here have suddenly started to realise that Rajasthan Royals are serious candidates to win the IPL," he opened ahead of today's semi-final against the Delhi Daredevils.

Cowers dipped in a little further down to find more self-regarding guff: "We spent less on players than any of the franchises, yet topped the group. Money, to me, was a red herring."

Choking back the vomit, we skimmed forward to discover the king of spin still staring lovingly at his own navel: "It is no coincidence that three of the Royals - Sohail Tanvir, Shane Watson and myself - are among the top ten bowlers for the competition."

First of all, it's "me" not "myself". Second of all, shut up. Nobody cares. The IPL is basically a turbo-charged knockabout in the park.

The real reason the Royals topped the group is because they were the only ones trying.

Cowers' own adopted team, the Deccan Chargers, were billed as the Harlem Globetrotters of the competition with the likes of Adam Gilchrist, Herschelle Gibbs, Shahid Afridi, Andrew Symonds and Scott Styris in an allegedly explosive batting line-up.

Yet by the end the Chargers were propping up the table after winning just two of 14 matches. Less Globetrotter than Rodney Trotter, if you will.

Follow the first semi-final between Rajasthan and the Delhi Daredevils from 3.30pm, with the Chennai Super Kings taking on King's XI Punjab in tomorrow's second semi-final.

Monarchists will be heartened to see three of the last four with Royal connotations in their names. And Delhi's inclusion is obviously good news for Evil Knievel fans.

- - -

TALKING POINT: What do you make of the England one-day squad? What selection criteria would you use? Which team do you want to win the IPL? Does it even matter?

Feel free to answer any or all of those questions in the space provided.

LIVE NOW: It's day one in the county championship, and we've got all the live scorecard that's fit to print RIGHT HERE.

Comments1 - 17 of 17

I'm chuckling like a cheese wheel!
From the_kop2003 on Fri May 30 03:35PM
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simon jones should be given a workout in the 1 dayers and then be brought back against south africa!
From swads43 on Fri May 30 04:01PM
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"a turbo-charged knockabout in the park." about somes it up. Some fun for cricket mad indians maybe (though I read reports that most of the tickets were given away free) and a big payday for some retired stars, but little relevance to cricket in general or the rest of the world.
Can't agree with Swads.....lets see Jones get through half a dozen county matches before he's risked.
As for England's wicket keeping selections, who knows. Beginning to think they just pick a name from a hat.
From andynpeters on Fri May 30 06:19PM
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er ...."sums it up" honest I can spell I was just distracted by a delightful Spanish barmaid......well actually by the beer she was pouring me
From andynpeters on Fri May 30 06:23PM
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It's weird.............................................
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..................................Why wasn't alec stewart chosen for the wicket keeping place???????????
From rishigupta001 on Fri May 30 08:14PM
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simon jones took 5 for 92 against glos last week,point made i thinks!
From swads43 on Sat May 31 07:34AM
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He's a fine bowler Swads.....I'm a fellow Welshman...and took 4-14 today....but one 5 wicket haul doesn't mean he's test match fit just yet. He's had a horrendous time with injuries and needs to be bowling lots before he's risked
From andynpeters on Sat May 31 12:55PM
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Cow - cricket is primarily a weekend game = and here you are, taking saturday and sunday off without the hint of a blog ??? Surely a sign of this glorious game dying out in this country - can't blame anyone with the boring lot masquerading as the national team nowadays - one talisman Freddie is out with injury and the only other one KP has his sights firmly set on distant shores and riches
From arviemail on Sun Jun 01 05:58PM
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If you had seen the IPL final good - otherwise eat your hearts out... now I know cow corner is hopelessly out of sync and out of tune - best of luck with the oldies posting 4 and a half replies to test cricket coverage - WATCH OUT NEXT WEEK FOR ENGLAND OLD BOYS TAKING UP NEW ZEALAND LAST STRING XI and scraping towards a 5-day draw... ably aided by the weather and other miscellaneous factors - whilst real cricket takes off and takes wings in another continent..
From arviemail on Sun Jun 01 07:21PM
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R.I.P. COW - and test cricket
From arviemail on Sun Jun 01 07:25PM
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IPL - Who was there ? -
SA - Graeme Smith, Jacques Kallis, Albie Morkel, Makhaya Ntini, Dale Steyn, Herschelle Gibbs etc.
Australia - Hayden, Ponting, Lee, Symonds, Warne, McGrath, Lee, Hodge, Marsh, Watson etc.
SriLanka - Jayawardene, Sangakkara, Jayasuriya, Murali, Maharoof, Fernando, etc.
NZ - Vettori, McCullum, Taylor, Oram, Fleming etc.
West Indies - Gayle, Bravo, Chanderpaul, Sarwan etc.
Pakistan - Umar Gul, Shoaib Akhtar, Akmal, Afeez, Asif, Tanveer etc.
India - all players.
Who missed out ???? nobody noticed because there were no other test playing countries of note whose players missed out - and oh... did somebody mention England ??? who are they and which planet are they on ???????????? and which b*****dy planet are their supporters and bloggers on ????????????
From arviemail on Sun Jun 01 08:50PM
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Cow - bury your head deeeeeeeeper in the sand - the IPL was the biggest ever cricket tournament - and the trophy was the most expensive ever commissioned for any sporting contest - and the opening and closing ceremonies were the costliest for any event (including olympics and pathetic footie world cups overseen by the stingy Sepp Blatter and his cronies)... Blatter, if you want a crash course, take an economy class trip to India mate...
From arviemail on Sun Jun 01 08:53PM
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ipl is the last chance for the older players to earn a bit of money before they have to retire,innit.
From swads43 on Sun Jun 01 11:01PM
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swads43 - it is more money than younger cricketers will earn in a lifetime playing county cricket in england
From arviemail on Mon Jun 02 12:06PM
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70K a year - that is what david beckham (and m.s.dhoni) earn in a few minutes
From arviemail on Mon Jun 02 12:07PM
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so all ye talented cricketers - ditch the old game and move to 20-20 (in the future you will also get 10-10 or 5-5 or 3-3) - just look at it, you get oooodles more money for playing less overs - who wins ? ALL of US...
From arviemail on Mon Jun 02 12:09PM
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and we can go home in 60 or 90 minutes with a definite win-loss result - no more dreary draws after five days
From arviemail on Mon Jun 02 12:11PM
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