Cow Corner Blog

The Perennial Bridesmaid

Mon Jun 02 12:15PM

Aussie cricketers clearly don't do long, drawn-out retirements.

Damien Martyn announced his intention to retire from international cricket mid-series, days before he was due to line up in an Ashes Test against England in Perth.

A couple of weeks later, Justin Langer said he would be calling it a day at the end of the Sydney Test...just one day before it started. Now Stuey Macgill takes it a step further and quits mid-way through a Test match.

At least when Adam Gilchrist did something similar, his was the final match of a series. Macgill didn't even afford the selectors that luxury - Australia still have a Test remaining in their current series in the West Indies. Someone will be frantically stuffing jock straps and sun-cream into a suitcase as Cowers writes.

The recurring line from retiring players is always: "I just knew it was time to go."

If "knowing the time right" was the only criterea to retirement, Cowers would have jacked it all in years ago for a life in a small cottage by a river in the south of France: breakfasts of Camembert and red wine; mornings spent reading Flaubert and Camus in a hammock with a glass of vino at his side; afternoon trip to the local vineyard; before long and leisurely dinners of venison bourguignon with a bottle of the local tipple to wash it all down.

At least Macgill's retirement chat was a little more insightful than that.

"One of the treats for a bowler playing Test cricket is that you have a champion bowling up the other end," he said. "Bowling with some of crickets all time greats such as Glenn McGrath, Shane Warne, Jason Gillespie and Brett Lee has made my job a lot easier. I want to be sure that exciting young bowlers like Mitchell Johnson enjoy the same privilege."

Macgill should try telling that to poor old Muttiah Muralitharan or Danny Vettori, two guys who have never come close to enjoying said privilege.

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You'd think Macgill's retirement should bring sighs of relief from England fans looking forward to the 2009 Ashes. After all, the leg-spinner has over 200 wickets in just 44 Tests at the best strike-rate of any modern spin bowler, just 53, and has an incredible 39 wickets against England in only six Tests.

The problem is, Macgill's retirement could prompt the return of Shane Warne...and that's the last thing England need.

Only last month, Warne said: "If Stuey MacGill fell over and broke his leg, and there were no other spinners around, and Ricky came out and said, 'Mate, can you please help us out for this one-off tour? We need you', that is something I would weigh up."

With the Aussie spin-cupboard as bare as a barbie doll and Warne in top form in the IPL, Cowers doesn't think it will be too long before Macgill finds himself with his leg between two slats on the bed-board and Ricky Ponting stood over him with a Grey Nichols asking him to lie back and think of Australia.

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TALKING POINT: Retirement; where do you plan to spend yours?

LIVE: County action, and the fourth day of The Stuey Macgill Memorial Test Match from Antigua,

Comments1 - 16 of 16

Retirement, the term does not apply to those of us under 40. As we work into our dotage to pay for those lucky enough to be able to draw a pension.
However, should I get lucky and live past my working years, I would buy an underpowered car, a heavy caravan and drive up and down the A66 infuriating the younger more impatient drivers trying to enjoy what little holiday they have. Having seen many of these oldies doing similar over the past week, I can only assume this is obligatory once you reach 60.
From g_hine on Mon Jun 02 01:17PM
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retirement - an england cricketer can retire at 95 and still expect to get a call back because of the lack of talent - england is the most backward country in cricket - 66 places behind papua new guinea and haiti
From arviemail on Mon Jun 02 01:26PM
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oh - and did i forget fiji - who are 99 places ahead of OLD BLIGHTY in the cricket rankingsn - they dont drink warm beers on cold summer afternoons y'know old chap - eh eh eh - jolly good jolly good
From arviemail on Mon Jun 02 01:29PM
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g_hine... really take a pill and go to sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee[
From arviemail on Mon Jun 02 01:32PM
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anyway - cow corner or buffalo corner or whatever it is - is not going to get more than 7-8 posts, of which 6-7 will be mine - so what the hell......... LONG LIVE IPL AND DEATH TO TEST CRICKET - OH OH OH
From arviemail on Mon Jun 02 01:34PM
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THIS IS FINAL - COW CORNER HAS BECOME BEEEEEEEF CORNER - becos u hv been slaughtered cowers - you are toooo lazy to respond and post answers - drown in your pernod's and spare us the agony - REST IN ETERNAL PEACE
From arviemail on Mon Jun 02 01:36PM
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Is anybody else bothered to read this and respond ??? Hail cricket and ho India and IPL...
From arviemail on Mon Jun 02 01:38PM
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COW, BUFFALO, SPRINGBOK or any other bovine creature - PLEASE PUT A RESPONSE ON A CRI-CRI-CRI-CRICKET BLOGGGGGGGGGGGGG
From arviemail on Mon Jun 02 01:39PM
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All responses are mine - HIP HIP HURRAY - and COW says I have 600000000 characters and no HTML pleaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase
From arviemail on Mon Jun 02 01:41PM
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any cricket FANATIC's hereeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee ?
From arviemail on Mon Jun 02 01:42PM
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Woah Nelly...
Arviemail, I think perhaps you may need a holiday there old chap... Nothing on Cow Corner is worth having a coronary over.
From g_hine on Mon Jun 02 01:51PM
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Same old arvie, always blogging!
Give it a rest dammit!
From the_kop2003 on Mon Jun 02 02:14PM
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Arvie now whilst this may end up pandering to your obvious need for us to give old Cowers more attention.
I'm just preparing a nice Lager and Valium for myself as that's the only way to deal with hyperactive people, I get a nice buzz on and can't be arsed to be worry about the crockery atop the Welsh dresser
As for retirement I fully intend to take The Auteur's route namely marrying a showgirl and spending as much time as is feasible in a library without neglecting said brides 'needs'.
From son_of_squid on Mon Jun 02 02:15PM
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cowers has got his own personal troll...............don't feed the ****
From swads43 on Mon Jun 02 06:41PM
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I bet stuart macgill might not consider himself good enough to wear the baggy green but he'd consider himself good enough to play in the IPL and take a big pay cheque, its coming to the point were financial interest comes before country
From djzion09 on Mon Jun 02 09:42PM
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my day is made - i got a couple of sleepy heads to post responses and boost cow rankings - well done son_of_squid, swads43 and djzion09.. you win the next keyring, fleece and pen respectively - when the holy cow wakes up from his pernod-induced stupor
From arviemail on Mon Jun 02 09:50PM
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