Early Doors - Your morning briefing blog

The City of Manchester Stadium has sprung more leaks than the poop deck on the Poseidon, with no fewer than three club "sources" spilling the beans on Sven-Goran Eriksson's falling-out with Frank Shinawatra and imminent exit from Manchester City.The Express and the Sun spent the day chatting with various shadowy...More

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There is something about footballers that makes them spectacularly bad at fighting. Given the lack of invitation they need to square up to each other, you might think that one or two had thrown a punch in their time. Yet, Duncan Ferguson aside, they fail even to grasp the basics....More

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Newcastle United want to sign Thierry Henry, if today's papers are anything to go by. And Early Doors wants to ride a unicorn through the centre of Hounslow without local chavs attempting to nick its horn, but that isn't going to happen either.While the Toon Army whip themselves into a frenzy,...More

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Such is the blame culture we find ourselves in these days, Early Doors has no compunction whatsoever in pointing the finger this morning and identifying those responsible for last night's under-par Manchester United performance. It seemed unlikely that United-Barcelona would be the biggest snoozefest of the week, considering Liverpool were...More

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Rafael Benitez said earlier in the week that he couldn't believe Liverpool's class of 2005 had managed to win the Champions League. After last night's showing, Early Doors can't believe one of the two sides playing at Anfield are still in with a shout of winning this year's edition.We'd been...More

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Good news for binary fans. The rivalry that deals only in zeroes and ones is back to bore the pants off us for the fourth time in as many seasons. The results of Liverpool and Chelsea's six Champions League encounters since 2005 read thus: 0-0, 1-0, 0-0, 0-0, 1-0, 0-1....More

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During Arsenal's game against Reading, Early Doors noticed a mysterious message on the advertising hoardings proclaiming: "The Cesc Fabregas Show". As billboards go, it was obviously no match for the legendary "Morten Olsen prefers Widex hearing aids", but fairly intriguing all the same.Early Doors naturally assumed it was a sly...More

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Early Doors, it is fair to say, remained less than captivated by events at Goodison Park last night, dipping in only during the breaks in Mariah Carey week on American Idol. ED would love nothing more than to bore you with the details of every performance and the judges' verdicts ("Yo...More

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Anyone who has ever attempted to learn a foreign language knows that in order to guarantee success you have to start with the basics.Early Doors does not mean picking up rudimentary grammar, learning the alphabet or even knowing how to introduce oneself.No, any linguistic course always starts with the swear...More

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Early Doors remembers some slow news days but yesterday was one of the worst since the great news drought of 1864. Not since the time Moses Ashikodi's loan move to Watford adorned the top of this website have ED and its saggy-faced colleagues scratched around so hopelessly in search of something...More

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