Early Doors - Your morning briefing blog

Getting on the property ladder can be hard. The credit crunch and the resultant tightening of mortgage lenders' belts has left the most unlikely people homeless, with no hope of affording a place of their own.You might think Jonathan Woodgate's estimated £60,000-a-week pay packet could get him a nice mock...More

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Well, for 85 minutes the best club competition in the world was a whole lot of nothing.Both Liverpool and Chelsea looked set for drab goalless draws in the Champions League, the Blues in a game of quite breathtaking awfulness.Then it all changed - at least it did at Anfield. First...More

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After the season he has had, Rafa Benitez must feel like jacking it in - but he knows he will forfeit several million pounds in compensation if he quits Liverpool.So, with the sword of Damocles not so much hanging over his head as plummeting inexorably towards his cranium, Rafa can...More

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David James cemented his reputation as the Mark Ramprakash of football with a stunning performance against Preston yesterday.Jamo pulled off a string of brilliant saves - including a full-stretch diving effort to deny Neil Mellor - and repelled a penalty in Portsmouth's smash-and-grab win at Deepdale.If you're playing Bolton, James...More

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What does Bryan Robson have in common with a hyperactive toddler at bed time? Neither of them wants to go upstairs.Captain Marvel has parted ways with Sheffield United after refusing to be shunted into some desk job at Bramall Lane with the grandiose but meaningless title 'Director of Football'.He takes...More

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It's Valentines Day - the armchair football fan's worst nightmare. It may be day invented by Hallmark perpetuated by Disney and taken to saturation point by florists everywhere but it's also a day certain misguided individuals take as sacrosanct.Early Doors is a metrosexual online blog and is fully aware that...More

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Nigel Reo-Coker yesterday bemoaned the demise of football as a contact sport, recycling the familiar line: "It's not even a man's game." And even a cursory look at his face would suggest he is right.The Aston Villa midfielder has picked up eight bookings this season for a series of mis-timed...More

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Police are reportedly considering the introduction of 'mosquito' ultrasonic devices to break up gangs of antisocial youths.This young-person deterrent emits a piercing noise so high-pitched it can only be heard by people younger than 25. It sounds like one of those things country folk put in their gardens to scare...More

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Hats off to fans of Manchesters United and City, who observed an immaculate minute's silence at Old Trafford yesterday without so much as a ring tone disturbing the calm.Although the school teacher in Early Doors feels compelled to point out Sir Alex Ferguson appeared to be chewing gum as he laid...More

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The imminent fall of the Roman empire (well, several hundred years down the line) is characterised by the image of Nero fiddling while Rome burned. It is not clear what he was fiddling with, since the violin would not be invented for another 1,000 years.For Napoleon it was the decision to send...More

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