Early Doors - Your morning briefing blog

At the risk of becoming less popular around Ibrox than Artur Boruc's 'God bless the Pope' t-shirt, Early Doors must confess it doesn't really want Rangers to win the UEFA Cup final. Put simply, Leo Messi hit the nail on the head when he described their style as "anti-football". Put...More

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[Cue Champions League music, albeit in Nokia ringtone form] Good morning and welcome to the inaugural Early Doors End-of-season awards - the Doorsies! It is time to honour those people who have made this season so special, and look back at the laughter, the tears and the ludicrous tantrums. [Cue...More

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Early Doors thoroughly enjoyed its Sunday afternoon. Due to skin so prone to burning the slightest exposure to sunlight could provoke spontaneous human combustion, it stayed indoors, engrossed in 'The Jewel of the Nile' on ITV. ED loved the on-screen chemistry between Michael Douglas and Kathleen Turner, and laughed out...More

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Alex Ferguson will be the first to admit it - if ever there was a time for backsides to start making funny noises, it will be on Sunday when the final chapter of this season's story unfolds.With just one issue settled heading into the final day - the Worst Team...More

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Hot on the heels of yesterday's revelation that foreign footballers whose English isn't up to scratch could face expulsion from these shores comes the sad news of yet more outdated political ramblings.No matter Enoch Powell has been six feet under for a decade, the politician's controversial views are still being...More

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MORE DESPATCHES FROM SEPP BLATTER'S CHOICE FOR WORLD CUP 2018: If it is a treasonable offence to affix a stamp with the Queen's head upside-down, then surely denying Cliff Richard a Eurovision Song Contest victory should result in a slow and grizzly execution.Yet a documentary has claimed that General Franco...More

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Losing that game to Croatia was the best thing that could have happened to English football. Just look at the state of the players Steve McClown would have been taking to Euro 2008.Wayne Rooney is injured (again), while his replacement Carlos Tevez is showing him up with vastly superior performances.Fellow...More

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Early Doors knows it has stuck up for them in the past, but it sees a growing body of evidence suggesting that foreign owners can be a menace.The merest mention of Tom Hicks, Thaksin Shinawatra or Those Guys Who Bought Derby can cause palpitations among many fans, while next week we may see...More

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Congratulations to Rangers for reaching the Champions League 'B' final last night. Nacho Novo kept his nerve from the spot as Walter Smith's men sealed a 4-2 spot-kick triumph in Fiorentina.It is rumoured that Guantanamo Bay are planning on making suspects watch the entire three and a half hours of...More

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Cheer up Liverpool fans at least you don't have go through the rigmarole of acquiring Champions League final tickets now.After years of educational matches between Chelsea and Liverpool (educational as in they make you want to turn the TV off and read a book), last night's game was a ripsnorter,...More

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