Early Doors - Your morning briefing blog

David James cemented his reputation as the Mark Ramprakash of football with a stunning performance against Preston yesterday.Jamo pulled off a string of brilliant saves - including a full-stretch diving effort to deny Neil Mellor - and repelled a penalty in Portsmouth's smash-and-grab win at Deepdale.If you're playing Bolton, James...More

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What does Bryan Robson have in common with a hyperactive toddler at bed time? Neither of them wants to go upstairs.Captain Marvel has parted ways with Sheffield United after refusing to be shunted into some desk job at Bramall Lane with the grandiose but meaningless title 'Director of Football'.He takes...More

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It's Valentines Day - the armchair football fan's worst nightmare. It may be day invented by Hallmark perpetuated by Disney and taken to saturation point by florists everywhere but it's also a day certain misguided individuals take as sacrosanct.Early Doors is a metrosexual online blog and is fully aware that...More

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Nigel Reo-Coker yesterday bemoaned the demise of football as a contact sport, recycling the familiar line: "It's not even a man's game." And even a cursory look at his face would suggest he is right.The Aston Villa midfielder has picked up eight bookings this season for a series of mis-timed...More

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Police are reportedly considering the introduction of 'mosquito' ultrasonic devices to break up gangs of antisocial youths.This young-person deterrent emits a piercing noise so high-pitched it can only be heard by people younger than 25. It sounds like one of those things country folk put in their gardens to scare...More

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Hats off to fans of Manchesters United and City, who observed an immaculate minute's silence at Old Trafford yesterday without so much as a ring tone disturbing the calm.Although the school teacher in Early Doors feels compelled to point out Sir Alex Ferguson appeared to be chewing gum as he laid...More

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The imminent fall of the Roman empire (well, several hundred years down the line) is characterised by the image of Nero fiddling while Rome burned. It is not clear what he was fiddling with, since the violin would not be invented for another 1,000 years.For Napoleon it was the decision to send...More

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36 minutes - That is exactly how long it took some England fans to turn on Fabio Capello.Just after the half-hour mark, with the game scoreless and England looking less than fluent, a section of the crowd decided they had had enough of this Italian character.Their ire was raised by...More

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In the bad old days of reality TV, before executives realised it was more fun to humiliate contestants, hosts used to simper that "they're all winners".It was in a similar spirit that Early Doors watched Super Duper Tuesday (a name presumably on loan from Sky Sports), the day that was...More

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Early Doors isn't saying the England squad are a bunch of scruffy oiks, but when a manager who makes his players put on a shirt and turn off their mobiles for dinner is accused by an insider of creating "a military camp", you have to wonder.Fabio Capello's other "boot camp-style"...More

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