Dandyish Defoe
Wed Jan 07 08:48AM
Early Doors was rather concerned yesterday when it was revealed that Jermain Defoe would be paraded around White Hart Lane before kick-off in their match against Burnley.
'Parading' sounded weirdly like the kind of thing the Americans might do to a captured terror suspect, but thankfully ED's worst fears were not realised. Merely its second-worst.
Defoe marked his return to London by dressing as a Dickensian cockney street urchin, complete with a flat cap and dandyish scarf issuing forth from the front of his jacket. As looks go, it could best be described as Russell-Brand-meets-chimney-sweep.
The little man put on a brave face despite the biting cold and the fact that he was missing Celebrity Big Brother, a show that provided the world with his current squeeze Chantelle Houghton - somebody who shot to prominence despite nobody ever having heard of her. A bit like Avram Grant, really, except Chantelle won.
Defoe's evening at the Lane was further bad news for Channel 4, who saw around 25 per cent of their audience wiped out as soon as he left the comfort of his sofa.
The euphoria at Defoe's return seemed a bit strange given he was deemed surplus to requirements this time last year. Only Tottenham fans could consider it a massive success to spend £15m on a player they sold 12 months ago for half that amount.
Although, this being a Harry Redknapp signing, there was plenty of wheeler-dealering to reduce Tottenham's outlay.
First of all, Defoe's Portsmouth contract had a sell-on clause ('Arry would have known since he was the bloke who wrote it) - meaning Spurs would receive about 30 per cent of the fee should Pompey sell him.
So effectively Spurs paid a large chunk of the £15m to themselves. Throw in the fact that Pompey still owed them money for him and Defoe really starts to pay for himself. Harry probably cashed in Mrs Redknapp's Nectar points to reduce the outlay further.
Redknapp also went on the defensive over claims that he is plundering his old club, saying: "People say I raided Portsmouth, I didn't. I said I wouldn't try and upset them.
"They wanted to sell, to us or Man City or whoever was going to afford him. It wasn't a case of me going back to Portsmouth to upset Jermain to come here."
Of course not. It was merely a case of making it abundantly clear that Spurs wanted Defoe, to the point where some nitwits made death threats against him and made his future at Fratton Park untenable.
- - -
It can be frustrating for players who find themselves ignored by their manager and unable to force their way into first-team contention.
But Fulham flop Leon Andreasen has taken things a bit too far by making what appears to be a threat of violence against his own team.
"If a bomb was dropped on the dressing room and four players broke their legs, maybe I could look forward to some playing time," he said, rubbing his hands together and cackling with glee.
In these times of heightened security, Andreasen can expect a knock from the Old Bill. If for no other reason than to ask him what kind of bomb would result in four broken legs and no other injuries.
Rumours that Andreasen was spotted in an animated canyon buying TNT from Wile E. Coyote have been proven to be untrue, however.
Fortunately for everyone, Andreasen should secure a move to Hamburg before he has the chance to blow up so much as a balloon.
- - -
On the day when David Beckham made his Milan debut in a friendly, he showed signs of gaining a more important success - social acceptance from Italian football's beautiful people.
'TV presenter' Ilary Blasi and her hubby Francesco Totti have been described as Italy's Posh and Becks - a description that rather undersells the eye-poppingly lovely Blasi.
Totti has laid down the welcome mat for their fellow A-listers, but issued a warning that their arrival may not meet with the approval of some, less attractive, people.
"I am really curious about David's arrival in Italy," Totti said.
"He is an icon. I am delighted he has chosen to play in our league, even if it will be for a short spell.
"Beckham is a lad I like a lot, just as I like his wife. They are two beautiful people to see. Many will envy them."
- - -
QUOTE OF THE DAY: Nemanja Vidic on communicating with Sir Alex Ferguson - a
language barrier even Sergei Bubka would struggle to clear: "I had
problems at the beginning to understand him well. He's
been here more than 20 years but he has preserved the thick Scottish accent. A
lot of players don't catch what he's saying, especially foreign players, but our
results confirm he is getting the message across."
FOREIGN VIEW: 'Inter-Cassano: What a temptation' - Early Doors is truly aquiver with excitement at the prospect of Jose Mourinho taking football greatest loon under his wing.
COMING UP: Manchester United take on Derby in the Carling Cup at a freezing Pride Park. Carlos Tevez's punishment for mouthing off at Fergie is that he has to play. That's live from 19:45 UK time.
Its a bit Bjork now don't you think?
From andy_lycett on Wed Jan 07 12:09PMcareful annie, remember i'm gonna get hunted down.
brrr its cold here, bout -2 this morning.
i believe ye guys have it worse
From kgh_r on Wed Jan 07 12:14PMstevie g is a cheating scumbag!
From kgh_r on Wed Jan 07 12:16PMHi All,
Double double bluff!!
Go to Cowshot Corner (CC)!!
And you all thought i was a cuddly guy.... roar gwr!!!
New person for 2009!!!!!!
From jonathangrosskopf on Wed Jan 07 12:19PMPost 3: Arshavin = Liverpool don`t want.
From adepye62 on Wed Jan 07 12:19PMANNIE,
I see you also on CC.
YOU MUST BE A BUSY BEE!!
Get your bat out as Julian keeps bowling NO BALLS!!!From jonathangrosskopf on Wed Jan 07 12:38PMSEXPILES!!!!!!!!
From sexpile.robk on Wed Jan 07 12:53PMA tennis blog, thanks so sneaky Anne
From andy_lycett on Wed Jan 07 01:24PMSo Annie! How does Michael Jackson know when its time for bed??
From andy_lycett on Wed Jan 07 01:27PMMichael you are damn right, you are indeed a Pete a Pan mushroom cloud laying mother funker
From andy_lycett on Wed Jan 07 01:33PMCheerio Cheerio Cheerio Cheerio Cheerio Cheerio Cheerio Cheerio Cheerio Cheerio Cheerio Cheerio
From andy_lycett on Wed Jan 07 01:35PM"Who is this Jude.Surf?, bring him to me, let kneel before Zog"
Name that film for 10 pointsFrom andy_lycett on Wed Jan 07 01:37PMThe Pink Avenger ..............Cometh,...be afraid, be very afraid
From ilurvemen22 on Wed Jan 07 01:39PM"Who is this jude.surf?, bring him to me, let him kneel before Zog"
Name that film for 10 bonus pointsFrom andy_lycett on Wed Jan 07 01:39PMoops re type
From andy_lycett on Wed Jan 07 01:39PM1566-How beautifully descriptive
From andy_lycett on Wed Jan 07 01:41PMI think people should pay for Arshavin the amount they want' When he flops then all qwill start to realise YOU cannot put prices up like this anymore as the players aren't wirth it. Let whoever spend their money and learn from their silly mistakes. On the other hand, if Arshavin does kick off toa lot of goals over the next season then it'll be a good buy. All this he is **** he won't cut it, doesn't cut it with me! How can anyone say what a player will be like iun the English league until he has had time to develop, become stronger, get used to English food, the language! I could go on...
From human_arts on Wed Jan 07 01:42PM1578-Lets hear it for the big brained hombre
From andy_lycett on Wed Jan 07 01:43PMIts Esther you need Jude not ED!
Was he not really your uncle or something like that??From andy_lycett on Wed Jan 07 01:45PMI see that the Early Doors jackel pack is in feeding frenzy ...yawn..again
From ilurvemen22 on Wed Jan 07 01:46PMHi all,
Back from a mini lunch.
My outline of the best english cricket team has been posted up for all to see and criticise.
But you all have to do the same: Being grown ups that you are.
Not doing capitals as my computer had to be rebooted so many times due to the 100's of spams that the whole system crashed.
A 1st for you Julian!!!
If you don't want to be teased and driven mad then why be a masochist with all these inane spams!!
If i talked like that to you in real life you'd have long gone.
Self PR is great but going over and over the same silly things day after day is like boiling cabbage - tastes yuk!From jonathangrosskopf on Wed Jan 07 01:51PM1595-Thank God I am safe, but will let the Asian lad at our corner shop know that you are after him!!
From andy_lycett on Wed Jan 07 01:54PMOh dear. I see its still a bundle of fun on ED. Think im going to count my spare change during boring work hours from now on.
From jay8my on Wed Jan 07 01:57PMHave u lot ever had boiling cabbage it tastes yuk.
From jay8my on Wed Jan 07 01:59PMPoor,, poor, FitbutallTwat; even Robbie Keane scored more times than you ,last year
From ilurvemen22 on Wed Jan 07 02:04PMYou know your hit list Jude, do you confer with Dr Fox? Or Jonathon King maybe??
From andy_lycett on Wed Jan 07 02:04PMJulian,
If you haven't spammed today, then you sure have a record of spamming previously!
I doubt that Bob would want to spam himself - too obvious;
i can't cos i don't know how!
Grant isn't here;
Alan's gone on a walkabout back to see his beloved Liverpool;
Annie's too much a lady to want to be bothered and anyway can post on 3 blogs simultaneously;
So when all that's left is you Julian aka Jude!
QED!!!From jonathangrosskopf on Wed Jan 07 02:04PMAlan, You're back from your drive to see your beloved Liverpool and have a 1;1 with Benitez.
Are ou he secret spammer - a nod and a wink will do!
That book was good but i'm partial to a detective mystery!From jonathangrosskopf on Wed Jan 07 02:09PMIts a stubborn old ED today. Then again its been a stubborn old ED for a while now.
From jay8my on Wed Jan 07 02:14PMAnnie,
You give me too much praise to be the secret spammer!
It's a genuine mistake whenever 2 of my identical postings come up.
Yesterday everyone of my postings got changed by Big Brother ED.
Can you imagine me ever spamming the same silly thing - i'd get bored reading it!
Anyway, Julian gave the game away with his his couldn't care less comment 1623!From jonathangrosskopf on Wed Jan 07 02:16PM
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