Early Doors - Your morning briefing blog

It's all too much

Tue Jan 13 08:57AM

On picking up the FIFA World Player award last night, Cristiano Ronaldo said: "This is a unique moment for me."

This, of course, was a bare-faced lie. It seems Ronaldo has spent more time accumulating personal accolades at various ceremonies than actually playing football.

Although his tally of goals has dropped markedly (10 compared to 25 at this point last season), each strike fewer has been offset by some two-bit individual prize.

In the last nine months, his mantelpiece has become ever-more clogged after he was crowned PFA Player of the Year, Football Writers' Player of the Year, UEFA Club Footballer of the Year, FIFPro World Player of the Year, Ballon d'Or and now FIFA World Player.

At this rate Early Doors wouldn't be surprised if he emerged as a late contender for the African Player of the Year award - he does after all hail from Madeira, which is closer to Morocco than mainland Portugal.

All this award-lifting has given Ronaldo plenty of time to perfect his 'choked-up' face, and he spent a few seconds pretending to fight back the tears last night.

He was jogged back to his senses by the sight of Sepp Blatter, who entered the building sporting a long white scarf that he may well have borrowed from Joan Collins.

As the FIFA award boasts the kind of integrity that Strictly Come Dancing can only dream of, the results were made public - right down to who voted for whom.

So we know that John Terry only placed Ronaldo third despite their shared knack of missing crucial penalties.

The England skipper placed Xavi first and Fernando Torres second - perhaps understandable given the amount of time he had on his hands during Euro 2008.

Wales captain Craig Bellamy opted for Lionel Messi ahead of Ronaldo, while Ireland's Shay Given snubbed the winking winger in favour of the goalkeepers' union pick of Iker Casillas.

In fact the only people who voted for Ronaldo were ones from outside the Premier League who do not have to endure his preening antics.

It was also good to see that Diego Maradona thinks Emmanuel Adebayor is the third best player in the world. And people thought he couldn't be a successful manager.

- - -

It seems Ronaldo is not the only person indulging in disingenuous chat this morning. Maybe it is the effect of football in January, but the newspapers are full to bursting with sarky comments from football's great and not so great.

There is Southend manager Steve Tilson attempting to put the willies up Chelsea ahead of their FA Cup meeting by declaring that the away dressing room at Roots Hall is - shock horror! - uncarpeted.

"I don't go in the away dressing room much. But unless the heater has been fixed since the last game, there's no doubt it will be cold in there.

"The away dressing room at Chelsea was very nice. It had carpet. Ours has a concrete floor - and even that's chipped."

There is Patrice Evra sarkily thanking the FA for banning him following his mower-gate bust-up with a Chelsea groundsman last season:

"I dedicate this win to the FA because I still haven't swallowed my four-game suspension. But I had a nice time with my family and a nice holiday."

There is David Beckham pretending to be committed to the LA Galaxy before adding an ambiguous "we'll see" while winking in Silvio Berlusconi's direction:

"The contract and agreement is I go back on March 9. So I'm going to enjoy it up until then and we'll see."

Then we've got Inter boss Jose Mourinho in brilliantly caustic form, declaring himself unmoved by Manchester United's dismantling of Chelsea - despite taking the opportunity to raid Fergie's booze stash - then pretending to have revealed his tactics for the teams' Champions League tie:

"Was I impressed? No. United deserved to win, but it was not an excellent game. It was an exceptional result but the game was average.

"Did I have wine with Ferguson? Yes, of course. But I didn't bring the wine, he had it already.

"I spoke to him for around half an hour and I told him how Inter will play against them and he told me his formation against us."

And best of all there is the Portsmouth club statement claiming they will take severe action against "any fans involved in indecent chanting or disorder" when Tottenham's Harry Redknapp and Jermain Defoe face their former employers on Sunday. Early Doors will believe that when it sees it.

- - -

'BARGAIN' OF THE MONTH: West Ham's £15m asking price for Craig Bellamy, who was reportedly involved in a tunnel bust-up with former Newcastle team-mate Shay Given. "Bellamy was ranting and raving but not making a lot of sense," said a source.

FOREIGN VIEW: Kevin-Prince Boateng tells Bild all about his time at Tottenham: "I made many mistakes, which I do not want to go into in any more details." Well, OK, not all. A bit.

COMING UP: A whopping nine FA Cup third round games take place tonight - follow all the action LIVE from 19:45 UK time.

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JOHNNY EVANS RULES OK!
Jude,
Learn to win the war not every stupid battle!!!
From jonathangrosskopf on Tue Jan 13 10:24AM
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Tim Flowers is making a come back , next year he'll be crowned the champ .
From rossalexandre on Tue Jan 13 10:25AM
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670 - Annie lol, James Beattie looks like Daniel Bedinfield aswell. 'I've gotta get thru this' video is James Beattie im sure.
From jay8my on Tue Jan 13 10:29AM
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Fine! Fine! Julian,
But You and I know THAT is a PIPE DREAM!!
OK, if you reckon that you can survive without ED - then prove it to yourself and go elsewhere and post to people who "are in your camp": and let the others just chase shadows.
From jonathangrosskopf on Tue Jan 13 10:30AM
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alrite folks.
fair play to ronaldo, he was the best player last year. having said that, he is NOT the best footballer in the world. messi is light years ahead, but suppose its down to form so well done ronaldo.
its great to see the filth listenin to offers for all their star players, how times have changed!! if boyd goes il be absolutly delighted!!
18 games, 1 defeat, semi against the bhoys, bring it on!!
From marcgrant7 on Tue Jan 13 10:33AM
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Ryan Giggs also yelled at his defence to wake up on Sunday's game with Chelsea.
You should have heard the verbals the Schmeichel yelled at his defence too!
But what Stoke did was to have a "real fight" - not good for morale!!
From jonathangrosskopf on Tue Jan 13 10:33AM
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stop doin that u irratating b@stard
From marcgrant7 on Tue Jan 13 10:34AM
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i'm a spurs fan. i do think ronaldo was best player last year but what about brad friedel?top keeper, look at blackburn now and look at his new team villa! 'nuff said!
From peterstedman on Tue Jan 13 10:41AM
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well dun u shape, uv jus completly ballsed up wot used to be a good blog.
piss off an grow a set
From marcgrant7 on Tue Jan 13 10:45AM
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Has ED finally deleted all the SPAMS? Good!!
ED also seems to have deleted everything; even posts about football - sad!
From jonathangrosskopf on Tue Jan 13 10:45AM
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yeah he is really the best in the world ballon d ronaldo
From nodji_alfred on Tue Jan 13 10:47AM
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happy new year anne, u have a good one?
From marcgrant7 on Tue Jan 13 10:49AM
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Yeah Bob Dundee Utd have Hamilton in the next round.
From jay8my on Tue Jan 13 11:00AM
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wots aw this pish wiv jude an bob an fbf etc?
jude please tell me ur no arguin over roxy?
that lass has got u wrapped round her little finger, she will get bored unless u give her a challenge man. roxy if im wrong go on an say, but im obv not. no havin a go jude, just the way im seein it.
anyways bak to the football.
From marcgrant7 on Tue Jan 13 11:00AM
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alrite man
aye, trounced east stirling 4-0 away. never expected to slip up there tho.
hamilton away next round, should be set up for another quarter final
From marcgrant7 on Tue Jan 13 11:02AM
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ED is off-sense sometimes. If Ronald is not playing well, how comes he acumulate those accolades. The awards come because he is playing well and exceptionally well too. Those average players cannot get one, not to talk of acumulating.
From talktoluxyonline on Tue Jan 13 11:14AM
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well dun u gargoyle
im off, deed wiv this. cheers for spoilin the blog, u @#$%
From marcgrant7 on Tue Jan 13 11:15AM
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all premier league captains are envious of Ronaldo. VIVA RONALDO
From kaggwa2000 on Tue Jan 13 11:22AM
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Morinho Morinho! Morinhooooooooo! stop!stop!the world best team,best coach and best players.Morinho what a loser you are!Hey morinho man united is commong R and R with the ball pass to B,B to T what are goallllllll!Hey stop crying Mr.special one!!!
From buteraymondmc on Tue Jan 13 11:28AM
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Sanity has returned. Ronaldo has seemed more ordinary this season. The game at present allows a player to shine for a season and then hacking and injuries step in to bring him down to earth, sometimes literally.
From james_ssmith on Tue Jan 13 12:23PM
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Why are you so convinced that West Ham want to get rid of Craig Bellamy?
From phowe2000 on Tue Jan 13 12:26PM
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looks like all my comments have been deleted, oh well, small price to pay to get rid of that clown!!
wots the crack wiv u jude an fbf, bob?
sorry jude but roxy has u wrapped, give her a challenge an keep her on her toes or she will get bored quicker than a punter at ibrox!!
From marcgrant7 on Tue Jan 13 12:34PM
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191. Not a shame at all, Bobo. Horribly cold here in Belgrade.
From james_ssmith on Tue Jan 13 12:34PM
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195 Or any American president's face in Iran. I only hate Ronaldo when he plays against Arsenal, but that goes for 200+ other players, too! He probably is nice to his mother when she cooks sardines for him in the way he likes.
From james_ssmith on Tue Jan 13 12:39PM
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no messages?
From andy_lycett on Tue Jan 13 12:41PM
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197. Guess it's time for me to go and miaow outside Roxy's kitchen window.
From james_ssmith on Tue Jan 13 12:42PM
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The train ticket including reservations and whole sleeping compartment to myself first class was 100 Euros from Kosice to belgrade via Budapest. I did say within 5 Euros and your suggestions were 10 and then 8. So nobody won unless there other entries while idiots were spamming as I gave up reading the blog.
From james_ssmith on Tue Jan 13 12:48PM
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Sweet seduction in a magazine,
endless pleasure in a limousine,
in the back shakes a tambourine,
Nicotine from a silver screen
In the music,
say the word,
see the light,
join the herd,
Love it comes,
Love it goes,
diamond memories,
go with the flow
From kevin1985kane on Tue Jan 13 12:53PM
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бԆtor
From andy_lycett on Tue Jan 13 12:53PM
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Сㆴor
From andy_lycett on Tue Jan 13 12:53PM
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