Early Doors - Your morning briefing blog

Defending the indefensible

Fri Mar 14 09:00AM

Early Doors has a crazy theory - Frank Lampard is the most underrated player in the Premier League.

Does anyone actually think he is any good, either as a man or as a footballer? Early Doors has always written him off as rubbish, and yet it can't help but notice a big, steaming pile of evidence to the contrary.

That privileged, public school upbringing, the slightly portly frame and the 20 deflected goals a season just don't make him that appealing.

When people say he and Steven Gerrard can't play together for England, nobody talks about dropping Stevie G. Fat Frank is always the 'logical' fall guy.

Even Chelsea fans don't seem to like him that much, despite the fact that he is frighteningly consistent and - before this season - hardly ever missed a game.

Those in the market for a blood-and-guts Englishman gravitate towards John Terry, while Didier Drogba gets the credit for leading the side's attack.

But over the last four-and-a-half years he has weighed in with 60 league goals and 46 assists. No midfielder in the country has been more effective.

Now Chelsea have got in on the act, cussing Lamps by stalling pointlessly over a new contract that they will obviously give him in the end.

Peter Kenyon might be trying to make a point about tightening the purse strings, but in which case why did he recently hand a new five-year deal to Paulo Ferreira?

A former Mourinho pet favourite, Ferreira is now a 29-year-old benchwarmer who has the makings of being the new Winston Bogarde - a man who started two league games in four seasons at Stamford Bridge, politely refusing the club's invitation to leave and preferring to see out his £2 million-a-year contract.

If karma really existed, Lampard would tell Kenyon to stuff off and sign for Barcelona on a Bosman.

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Following his recent goal splurge, Lampard's stock is now back on the rise and, once he bags that lucrative £130,000-a-week deal, he will go back to being massively overhyped.

These things come full circle. Chelsea were mocked for paying £17 million for Claude Makelele, a man who appeared to contribute absolutely nothing.

Then a fit of emperor's-new-clothes appreciation broke out, with pundits drooling over the way he read the game and did all 'the little things'.

As a result, the defensive midfielder was thrust into the unlikely situation of being the sexiest position in football, and men like George Boateng and Gilberto Silva were treated like sporting deities.

Pele was somewhat ahead of the game when he became briefly infatuated with Nicky Butt at the 2002 World Cup, declaring him the player of the tournament.

Order has since been restored - it is now generally acknowledged that anyone with a modicum of self-discipline can operate effectively as a holding midfielder, and that Cristiano Ronaldo - not Owen Hargreaves - is the man who makes Manchester United tick.

- - -

If Steed Malbranque turns to page 89 of the Sun, he will find himself pictured inside a milk bottle, like one of those matchstick model ships.

The Frenchman has been labelled a 'bottler' (geddit?) after ducking out of Spurs' shootout loss to PSV Eindhoven - despite taking penalties during Fulham days.

Although Malbranque missed three of his nine spot-kicks while at Craven Cottage, he surely had a better chance of hitting the target than scuff-merchant Pascal Chimbonda.

But where is the photo of Andy Johnson inside a pint of semi-skimmed? AJ once scored 11 penalties in a season for Crystal Palace, yet was taken off for Thomas Gravesen in extra time, shortly prior to Everton's defeat on penalties to Fiorentina.

- - -

QUOTE OF THE DAY: "Mr Coppell is the boss here but basically he does nothing during training." Reading's Marek Matejovsky reveals the secret of Steve Coppell's success.

FOREIGN VIEW: Remember Freddy Adu? Well, he 's still alive and scoring massive goals. The former New Pele stuck away a penalty in the United States's 1-0 win against Panama last night to help Team USA towards the Olympics. Adu's side drew the other day against Cuba, who subsequently had to play against Honduras with only 10 men after the rest of the squad defected.

TODAY'S TALKING POINT: ianbec on whether shirt colour makes any difference: "Don't know about the colour, but what about the design? Apparently some academics think wearing vertically-striped clothing makes you look thinner. Is this why Mark Viduka signed for Newcastle?"

To discuss over the weekend: Who is the most underrated player in the Premier League?

DISS OF THE DAY: The third and final part of kevmun82's devastating critique of the Early Doors triumvirate: "I really tried to think of something witty (for 'witty', also read 'juvenile') to say about the one at the back but I was struggling. I kinda liked him in a way (not THAT way), until I realised just how smug he looks in that picture. The kind of look that says 'I drive my Granny's old Corsa, but I've tricked it out, souped it up and now it's a pulling MACHINE!! No, I don't have a girlfriend and yes, I still live in my mum's Box Room despite being in my mid-30s, but I don't have a bedtime AND my friends are allowed to stay over, so beat that'."

Thanks kev, it's been a lot of fun. You are now the lucky recipient of a life ban from appearing on Early Doors.

COMING UP: The Champions League draw is live a-live oh! Follow video streaming from midday. Also, stick around for our full and massive preview of all the weekend's action.

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Im with you guys, I dont like Fat Frank at all. Silly prat he is - got one of those demeanours that just makes me wanna smack him square in the nuts.
"Game of rochambo Frank?"
Get rid of him from the England midfield and play Gareth Barry in his place. Bye bye frank lol
Quality work as always ED. Unlucky on the lifetime ban Kev haha
From neo_booie on Fri Mar 14 09:17AM
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tough luck kev. i was beginning to look forward to your posts as much as the ED briefing.
From bmaq007 on Fri Mar 14 09:30AM
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only the idiots in this country can consider Lampard is less important tha n Gerard!
From a.ovcharov on Fri Mar 14 09:42AM
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I agree as well...Fat Frank is the same @#$% as the whole chelsea squad is. He won´t play any better even for 200,000 a week and I cannot see why would any other squad wanted to sign him. I would not dare even for free! Most underrated player in the Premier league? I guess J. Defoe...
From peto.ceco on Fri Mar 14 09:44AM
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a candidate for the most underrated player in the prem has to be Alvaro Arbeloa. The guy can play across the back four and has a penchant for getting forward. It's almost as if he just turned up at liverpool, put on a red shirt and blended in. At one point he was one of the very few players to play nearly every game!
oh, and i don't think banning Kev is the answer. in the spirit of fair play Kev should send a picture of himself in and let ED question his living arrangements, marital status and transport situation.
From screamouk on Fri Mar 14 09:46AM
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Winning in a football game is about goal-scoring and certainly, one of a player's thicknes in a team will be his ability to score goals. Frank has scored 107 goals even as a midfielder; i beleive he's thick. If his latest performance does not appeal to Chelsea management to get him settled, they should be blamed when he leaves for Juventus or anywhere. For the records, I have not met any Chelsea fan who doesn't like Frank, we all love him and wish him well at Chelsea.
From sylvesterakere on Fri Mar 14 09:49AM
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The most underrated had got to be Andriy Shevchenko.
From akilesh_radhakrishnan on Fri Mar 14 09:50AM
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ED, I think you - and so many others - are so wrong about FL. I think he is one of the very few good things about Chelsea. So what if 73% of his goals are deflected, most of Gary Linekar's goals were scored by standing in the way of an otherwise perfectly decent shot, but no-one seems to hold that against him. As you say, consistency and goals. And what is it about the "fat" theories? Maybe you have all got magic mirrors that shave off a couple of stone and hence delude you into thinking FL is a bit of a Teletubby (Dumpy Lumpy?) by way of comparison?
From garethcoletranslations on Fri Mar 14 09:50AM
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2 Points:
1: Why put AJ in a bottle when the player who replaced him scored from the spot, good tactical substitution i'd say. Blame Yakubu whose run up reminded me of Mick Jagger before he got the wrong side of 50.
2: As for Frank, i've decided to pay a lot more attention to him this season after just discarding him as a one season wonder, then a two season wonder, then a ..... Well you get the picture. I must admit for chelsea he does impress but J Cole aside i'm trying to think of another "Great" premiership midfielder who has consistently done it for England. S Gerrard - NO, A Lennon - NO, O Hargreaves - NO. So at least Frank's not alone their.
From paulchappell82 on Fri Mar 14 10:01AM
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Defending the indefensible? is that Frank or the pic of Early Doors ?
From ken.mcg on Fri Mar 14 10:01AM
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Jimmy Bullard...... FACT!!!!
From aaron_armstrong_uk on Fri Mar 14 10:04AM
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"Defending the indefensible?" - I thought you were talking about ref's tendencies to grope players' tits whilst, er, addressing them from behind... Lampy-baby doesn't look too happy about it though... [Insert joke here about the ref's look of bemusement stemming from his surprise at Frank being such a tight-arse...]
From garethcoletranslations on Fri Mar 14 10:08AM
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Frank is the best midfielder in england,without question.
From hometerryblue on Fri Mar 14 10:12AM
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I would say Rob Green at west ham. despite conceding 4 goals in 3 consecutive games i still think hes better than most keepers in the prem.
From benyoungs on Fri Mar 14 10:13AM
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Michaels Carrick. a solid player who never get mentioned.. ever... until now.
From yeovilfan1 on Fri Mar 14 10:16AM
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As far as i understand it..Pele hasnt recinded his staement and therefore its still got to be Nicky Butt......j/k
How can Shevchenko be "under"rated...he cost a packet and hasnt delivered.
Just thought i would throw Richard Dunne into the bearpit..at 43 pence per tackle he's well underrated...good job theres a new deal in the offing.
From asxtc on Fri Mar 14 10:18AM
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Jimmy Bullard all the way....and a nice barnet to boot
From denisclohessy on Fri Mar 14 10:29AM
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Joe Cole has gotta be the most under-rated, Chelsea dont play him regularly at all but when he plays u can see his skills and desire to well.
As for Frank, no chelsea fan hates him thats a misconception. if this is so than the same can be said of Ronaldo. Why do ManU fans hate him?
From umar2050 on Fri Mar 14 10:30AM
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Ronaldo is the man who makes Manchester United tick? Hmm. Think you may find that Rooney is the man. Check out the ratio of losses when the boy doesnt play. Underrated? That would be big Sam as Newcastle manager. Careful what you wish for dear skunks!
From d.mcallister316 on Fri Mar 14 10:33AM
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for me Jimmy Bullard isn't one of the most underrated players but he does win two presitgious awards.
Firstly he'd win the Mr. Nice Guy Cup. He's the nicest guy in the prem; not an ounce of ego in him. A refreshing change in a culture of big heads and even bigger wage demands.
and secondly the Worst Barnet Trophy. Lets face it, it's a bit of a helmet isn't it. Then again Arsenal's Sagna looks like someones either tipped icecream on his locks or he's part Lemur.
From screamouk on Fri Mar 14 10:44AM
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and how can anyone say Joe Cole?? he gets mentioned everytime Chelski are on the box by the studio team!
From screamouk on Fri Mar 14 10:44AM
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Early Doors would love to be as high in the football punditry ranks as Lampard is in the footballing world. The fact that Early Doors use misplaced sarcasm to put their biased opinions across only augments the fact that they are Conference League quality at best!
From jim_bojanski on Fri Mar 14 11:00AM
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Most underrated player - got to be Everton's Leon Osman - when will he get his England chance??
From bob.berry103 on Fri Mar 14 11:02AM
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The most underated player in the premiership is N'Zogbia.
From thomascousins99 on Fri Mar 14 11:02AM
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Jeez, we really are a sensitive bunch aren't we ED? Was i a bit too close to the truth? In all seriousness, there was no malicious intent on my part, just (what i thought was) a bit of banter, so if i did cause any offence i do apologise.
In the interests of fairness, i don't drive as i am rubbish at it due to freezing up and panicking too easily in lessons and i DO have a girlfriend who i live with. I look sort of like a shorter, fatter version of "comedian" and television "personality" Brian Conley, (imagine that if you will, or rather if you dare) i live in Aberdeen but support Celtic (glory hunter jibes please) and i have a full head of hair which unfortunately is really really grey at the front despite the fact i'm only 25. Riff on that all you like ED.
As for best underrated player, i'm with nearly everyone in saying Jimmy Bullard, closely followed by James McFadden.
Am i forgiven?
From kevmun82 on Fri Mar 14 11:08AM
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with such speed and balance down that left flank, the most underratted player has to be clichy. probably the best left back in the world right now. as for frank, even though i just dont like the guy, i must admit, he knows where the net is. i hope chelski lose him in the summer. that will make the prem, next season a two-horse race again...
From toksonice on Fri Mar 14 11:21AM
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AJ only scored from the penalty spot as a regularly diving in the penalty area. Perhaps that was why he was taken off. Mind you he could have just rolled over in the penalty area before taking the spotkick that would have worked.
I agree with Jimmy Bullard as being the most underrated player.
From john_wingfield on Fri Mar 14 11:27AM
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i think most underated epl player is chelsea's SWP
From admire162 on Fri Mar 14 11:30AM
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i think most underated epl player is chelsea's SWP
From admire162 on Fri Mar 14 11:31AM
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Yossi Beanyoun is the most underrated player in the prem. He can run around a sideback and still get in front of goal before the centre backs and he scores a lot of goals.
From g_tande on Fri Mar 14 11:34AM
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