Getting shirty
Mon Mar 17 08:34AM
If Premier League players still had to wash their kits would they be so quick to toss them aside? The weekend before Super, Oh my God it's huge probably bigger than Jesus, Sunday was a relatively quiet one in the top-flight.
As draw specialists Arsenal continue to work in binary numbers allowing Manchester United to move a bit closer towards the title, the main talking point was what do you do with your kit when substituted.
Reading forward Shane Long apologised for throwing his shirt to the ground after being substituted during his team's 2-1 defeat by Liverpool at Anfield.
In an excuse reminiscent of 'my dog ate my French verb table', the player said that his frustration was with Andre Marriner, the referee, rather than Reading manager Steve Coppell.
Meanwhile fellow Irishman Robbie Keane, seeing his number raised for the seventh time in eight matches, threw his tracksuit top on to the floor of the dugout during Tottenham's loss to Manchester City.
But in defence of Keane's colourful exit, it was St Patrick's Day and maybe he was just in a rush to put on his diamond encrusted hoodie on for a big night out at Faces in Ilford.
However the biggest crime against apparel came from Cristiano Ronaldo who can't use being a genius in his defence for giving his shirt to Robbie Savage.
Rams captain Savage, never shy of massaging his ego, as well as his Michael Bolton barnet, claimed: "After the final whistle I said to Ronaldo 'do you want my shirt?' and he said 'OK, have mine. It was nice because people have been saying I'm finished at this level."
Robert, you are finished at this level you play for Derby.
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Kevin Keegan's apocalyptic reign as Newcastle gaffer continues tonight at Birmingham City with the dreaded drop hanging over the ex-permed striker like the Sword of Damocles (or should that be like a baseball bat on the M25 at Reigate Hill).
In 1989 Newcastle were relegated after finishing 20th in the top flight, having failed to win any of their final nine matches.
After 29 matches that season, Newcastle had won seven times.
After 29 matches this season, Newcastle have won seven times.
Relegation - like death but more important - does not respect reputation and unless you support the Big Five you would have tasted it.
That's the Big Five as it used to be in the days of the Big Match when you were granted 12 live games a season on ITV and they had to feature Arsenal, Tottenham, Liverpool, Everton or Manchester United.
If you remember when the Gunners or the Scousers were playing outside the top tier, you are more likely to be on a Saga cruise than reading this, but United were in the Second Division as recently as 1975 while Spurs were amongst the also-rans in 1978.
That is the end of today's history lesson kids for which we will receive a small Government grant.
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SPORTING QUOTE OF THE WEEKEND: "If he doesn't (apologise), then I'm gonna kick three colours of **** out of the little *******, David Coulthard turns the airwaves blue after colliding with Felipe Massa in the Australian Grand Prix.
FOREIGN VIEW: One fan was stabbed and 174 were arrested after fighting among Boca Juniors supporters in the latest outbreak of Argentine violence. The trouble came a day after a Velez Sarsfield fan was shot dead on the way to the stadium and fellow supporters rioted, forcing their team's game at San Lorenzo to be postponed.
TODAY'S TALKING POINT: What's the best strop on a football field you've seen - recount those tales of players sulking spectacularly at being taken off. Anyone who has swapped a shirt with Cristiano Ronaldo or who can scan a ticket stub of Liverpool's last Second Division game in 1962 will receive a Eurosport Yahoo! pen.
COMING UP: Is Jay McEveley still the worst player in the Premier League? A crack squad of algebra specialists are working on Team of the Week as we speak.
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IM this storyYou don't get a government grant for the history lesson - I'm afraid it's not a core subject. You might feasibly get one for the reference to binary. The government tends to award those dealing with Maths, Science and English (I have disregarded your contribution to the furtherance of the English language)
From g_hine on Mon Mar 17 08:48AMAnd St Patrick's Day is actually today; yesterday had the privilege of being the final day of the drinkers holiday "Paddy's Weekend", and it many places Parade Day.
From not_blonde_really on Mon Mar 17 09:19AMOne would have to go a long way to beat Eric 'Seagull' Cantona. There again, maybe just a longer run up would get you into row two...
From simondenham on Mon Mar 17 09:21AMBest exit crown must go to Eric (Kung Fu) Cantona - hands down (but NOT feet). Newcastle to win the Championship next year - not if they don't improve! Coulthard showing that great sporting chivalry he is so well known for is nice to see. Well done Hamilton and yes, I'm Scottish. Happy Paddy's Day!
From geelte on Mon Mar 17 09:21AMWash their own kit, you're having a laugh! You're more than likely to see them on ebay, so that players can supplement their meagre wages. Followed Monday by "Sorry Boss, someone stole it off the washing line".
From wapld20 on Mon Mar 17 09:21AMThe best article I've read since the "mosquito" one.
But what's with the free gift? A eurosport pen? You lot must have a tight budget, offer something that's actually worth writing something good up.. a fackin pen, your having a laugh lol
From tarek.taylor on Mon Mar 17 09:23AMLike the history lesson, but just to clarify (aka rub it in!) I think you'll find that the mighty Gunners are the only team out of the 'big five' that have only ever been relegated from the top flight once. We spent two years out, 1913/14 and 1914/15.
United have been relegated 5 times, Liverpool 3 times, Everton twice and that other 'team' 4 (count 'em, 1, 2, 3, 4!) times.
From therealdaklone on Mon Mar 17 09:24AMAND THE WINNER IS... "Kung fu Kantona". No wonder he's into beach footie, lots of artsy foot-work! Newcastle have to be relegated so we can get back to the days of Boro bashing with no distractions.
From crazy_pee_jay on Mon Mar 17 09:38AMArsenal have had longest tenure of 1st Division /Premier in the world All the other teams have been relegated one time or the other Have any top teams in Europe or South America been relegated in their respective leagues? John
From hamerjohn61 on Mon Mar 17 09:43AMWell, I think the best ground exit should be given to the palyers playing for Inter and Valencia during Valenci vs Inter Champions League game, they were flying out of the ground!!
From horizonmalta on Mon Mar 17 09:43AMIn the busyness of profit making and the lack of pride many premier footballers have. I personaly would not not pay some of these premadoners in washers do we forget that tis is a chtistian country yes i can understand peoplr forgetting this do we need the referance to God and Jesus and by the way thereis nothing bigger than either FACT
From sjsn777 on Mon Mar 17 09:46AMIn fact, Paddy's day was officially Saturday. My Irish contacts reliably inform me that on the rare occasions when Easter is this early, St Patrick is asked to move forward to avoid celebrations, and, more importantly, drunken celebrations, happening in Holy Week.
From alastair.bathgate on Mon Mar 17 09:47AMTo hamerjohn61: Yes, several Italian ones last year!!!!!!!!!!!
From geelte on Mon Mar 17 09:49AMWhat page you been reading sjsn777?
From geelte on Mon Mar 17 09:51AMGod what a rant sjsn777,... yes I said God. Waiting for eternal damnation now I've blasphemed. I think the last Christian in the premiership was Dailly
From g_hine on Mon Mar 17 09:58AMGeelte got in there before me on the italians being relegated but, I'll be the first to say, g_hine, that darren moore is actually a born again christian. Obviously won't be in the Premiership for too much longer but still...
From bjw_floyd on Mon Mar 17 10:04AMAs the ? was on the football field La Cantona doesn't count cause he was in the crowd at the time of his major girly strop.I saw Francis Lee and Stormin' Norman Hunter having a go which gave everyone a laff.Liverpool coming up on the rails, the whips out, all the other runners and riders beginning to tire TORRES FOR KING
From sted858 on Mon Mar 17 10:20AM@ hamerjohn61: In Germany, Hamburg SV is the only team never to have been relegated from the Bundesliga. Admittedly that has only been in place since 1963, but they were one of the best pre-war sides as well.
From garethcoletranslations on Mon Mar 17 10:26AMArsenal, do indeed have the longest record in the top flight. However they bought there way in, rather than the usual method of gaining promotion.
From stevegarvey1963 on Mon Mar 17 10:28AMTo all you Gooners out there, don't start getting too big headed just yet. You may have the longest unbroken stretch in English top flight, but Everton have been in the top flight for more years overall than any other club. Also, to therealdaklone, Arsenal may have only been out of the top flight for 2 years as you say (excluding WW1 years), but you fail to mention that when they were promoted they finished in FIFTH place in Div 2, 4 points behind Barnsley (3rd) and 2 points behind Wolves (4th), so Arsenal's promotion to the top flight must go down as one of the dodgiest in history to put it mildly - bungs are obviously not a modern phenomenon! Hull are currently 5th in the Chamionship - maybe they can get automatic promotion?! We all know the phrase transfer on a Bosman, but maybe we should have promotion on an Arsenal? At least Everton and the other clubs got promotion back into the top flight by their results on the pitch, not dodgy deals and bungs. Moral higher ground resides at Goodison, or soon to Kirkby
From andywalker269 on Mon Mar 17 10:29AMsjsn777 - if we're going to split hairs, the Jesus-God comment was a reference to a comment made by John Lennon of the Beatles. Who, from Liverpool and having changed the face of popular music, are arguably more relevant to British culture than a religion developed in the Middle East...
From redamaher on Mon Mar 17 10:48AMto andywalker269 and stevegarvey1963, and other Spurs fans who don't like the fact that Arsenal are better than them, while we may have got into the 1st division by dubious means (allegedly, there's still no proof) 90 YEARS AGO the fact that we've stayed in the top flight is surely something that you can respect and maybe, I don't know, give up the grudge?
From godot_isnt_coming on Mon Mar 17 11:13AM@#$% on brum beat kevs boys [i,d love it just love it] if newcastle were relegated dc,s comment was cut out of the repeat i thought itv showed the re run in its entirety alas ney i think they are talking coultards .is robbie savage got the worst hair in the league? i remember jason somebody having a pineapple on his head
From coe606 on Mon Mar 17 11:18AMjason lee
From jiverson2x on Mon Mar 17 11:31AMps gallas had a decent stop the other week ,my grant still hasn,t come through and we really could do with it on sunday
From coe606 on Mon Mar 17 11:35AMgodot, nearly 90 continuous years in the top flight is amazing, no dispute there. I just wanted to point out the dodgy way Arsenal achieved year 1 of the record run. No grudge, just wanted to give balance to the story. And for all your may, allegedly, and no proof language, get real - 5th doesn't get promoted ahead of 4th and 3rd without some grubby deal being struck. The record, no matter how impressive it is, started off in a distinctly Italian way!
From andywalker269 on Mon Mar 17 11:36AMAnd godot, "Moral higher ground resides at Goodison, or soon to Kirkby" suggests that andywalker269's an Everton fan - it's not only Spurs who don't like Arsenal!
From not_blonde_really on Mon Mar 17 11:46AMso arsenal got in first with the brown envelope trick, resurected in in the seventies and eighties to good effect alledgedly i bet you still talk about the war on a slow night or when watching middlesbore ps must lurn tu tork propur inglund so i don,t get censurd
From coe606 on Mon Mar 17 11:57AMHey andywalker269 et al! You are indeed correct, there is something decidedly fishy about the original promotion but as Godot points out, it was a good few years ago now and we have remained in the top flight since then through our own merit. The nice (or not-so-nice, depending on your point of view) thing about the facts is that they are just that - facts - morality doesn't enter into it. I'm sure we could work up a good list of incidents throughout football history that have affected the course of league titles and relegation battles which could be considered morally questionable, but at the end of the season the points on the board tell the only tale that really matters.
From therealdaklone on Mon Mar 17 12:02PMI suppose there might be a market in unwashed, used professional footballer kit. After all, there's nowt as queer as folk, is there. Talking of sleaze, I've always loved the way Arsenal snuck back into division 1 after the First World War. Almost as good as winning the Cup 0-0 against united a couple of years ago after being totally outplayed. Football is great for enabling one to be evil vicariously.
From james_ssmith on Mon Mar 17 12:04PM
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