Early Doors - Your morning briefing blog

Getting shirty

Mon Mar 17 08:34AM

If Premier League players still had to wash their kits would they be so quick to toss them aside?

The weekend before Super, Oh my God it's huge probably bigger than Jesus, Sunday was a relatively quiet one in the top-flight.

As draw specialists Arsenal continue to work in binary numbers allowing Manchester United to move a bit closer towards the title, the main talking point was what do you do with your kit when substituted.

Reading forward Shane Long apologised for throwing his shirt to the ground after being substituted during his team's 2-1 defeat by Liverpool at Anfield.

In an excuse reminiscent of 'my dog ate my French verb table', the player said that his frustration was with Andre Marriner, the referee, rather than Reading manager Steve Coppell.

Meanwhile fellow Irishman Robbie Keane, seeing his number raised for the seventh time in eight matches, threw his tracksuit top on to the floor of the dugout during Tottenham's loss to Manchester City.

But in defence of Keane's colourful exit, it was St Patrick's Day and maybe he was just in a rush to put on his diamond encrusted hoodie on for a big night out at Faces in Ilford.

However the biggest crime against apparel came from Cristiano Ronaldo who can't use being a genius in his defence for giving his shirt to Robbie Savage.

Rams captain Savage, never shy of massaging his ego, as well as his Michael Bolton barnet, claimed: "After the final whistle I said to Ronaldo 'do you want my shirt?' and he said 'OK, have mine. It was nice because people have been saying I'm finished at this level."

Robert, you are finished at this level you play for Derby.

- - - -

Kevin Keegan's apocalyptic reign as Newcastle gaffer continues tonight at Birmingham City with the dreaded drop hanging over the ex-permed striker like the Sword of Damocles (or should that be like a baseball bat on the M25 at Reigate Hill).

In 1989 Newcastle were relegated after finishing 20th in the top flight, having failed to win any of their final nine matches.

After 29 matches that season, Newcastle had won seven times.

After 29 matches this season, Newcastle have won seven times.

Relegation - like death but more important - does not respect reputation and unless you support the Big Five you would have tasted it.

That's the Big Five as it used to be in the days of the Big Match when you were granted 12 live games a season on ITV and they had to feature Arsenal, Tottenham, Liverpool, Everton or Manchester United.

If you remember when the Gunners or the Scousers were playing outside the top tier, you are more likely to be on a Saga cruise than reading this, but United were in the Second Division as recently as 1975 while Spurs were amongst the also-rans in 1978.

That is the end of today's history lesson kids for which we will receive a small Government grant.

- - - -

SPORTING QUOTE OF THE WEEKEND: "If he doesn't (apologise), then I'm gonna kick three colours of **** out of the little *******, David Coulthard turns the airwaves blue after colliding with Felipe Massa in the Australian Grand Prix.

FOREIGN VIEW: One fan was stabbed and 174 were arrested after fighting among Boca Juniors supporters in the latest outbreak of Argentine violence. The trouble came a day after a Velez Sarsfield fan was shot dead on the way to the stadium and fellow supporters rioted, forcing their team's game at San Lorenzo to be postponed.

TODAY'S TALKING POINT: What's the best strop on a football field you've seen - recount those tales of players sulking spectacularly at being taken off. Anyone who has swapped a shirt with Cristiano Ronaldo or who can scan a ticket stub of Liverpool's last Second Division game in 1962 will receive a Eurosport Yahoo! pen.

COMING UP: Is Jay McEveley still the worst player in the Premier League? A crack squad of algebra specialists are working on Team of the Week as we speak.

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Darn, forgot to add the ironic smiley to the end of my previous post!!
From therealdaklone on Mon Mar 17 12:07PM
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therealdaklone, points on the board DO count, you are absolutely right - that is why Barnsley should have been promoted and not the Gunners! Just because there have been what you call other morally questionnable promotions and relegations, are you saying that makes Arsenal's ok? Or points ont eh board only count after the 1915 season? If Barnsley hadn't been cheated out of their place in the top flight, who knows perhaps they would have gone on to conquer England and Europe, and the Gunners might have been also rans. It's easy to dismiss it all as a long time ago and say everyone was at it at some time or another, but Arsenal will always be the team that bought its way into Div 1. George Graham was obviously just following club tradition with his brown envelopes eh?
From andywalker269 on Mon Mar 17 12:16PM
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And before someone jumps on me and says it is nonsense about what might have been with Barnsley, since ED has been talking about history today, speculating about what might have been if x and y had not happened in a historical sense is called a counterfactual. Do I get a grant now?
From andywalker269 on Mon Mar 17 12:29PM
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Worse player in premier league has to Rasiak (Anelka's replacement) at Bolton.He has two speeds-stop and reverse.
From r.williams98 on Mon Mar 17 12:29PM
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andywalker269, I make no judgement on the right or wrong of the promotion and was only trying to point out that football is so strewn with injustice and morally questionable behaviour, some going for us and some against, that this indicent is less significant than the intervening years of consistant performance as a measure of the clubs stature...or to put it another way; we may or may not have bought our way in, but we've stayed in because we're good
From therealdaklone on Mon Mar 17 12:54PM
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If only England defenders could score penalties
If only Gordon Banks had been fit that time
If only the weather had been clear at Munich
If only we had stood up to Hitler at Munich twenty years before
If only Colonel F had not squared the FA over Arsenal
If only Gavrilo Princip had been a footballer
If only we had played football with the American colonists
If only Good Queen Bess had got married and had enough kids for a football team
If only the score had been Lions 0 Christans 5
If only Pilate had said no way am I showing JC a red card
If only Adam had said I want an orange not an apple at half time
If only Andy Walker and others could enjoy the moment and not whinge about times that have never been.
If only ....
From james_ssmith on Mon Mar 17 01:03PM
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james_ssmith that was the most boring thing i have ever had the displeasure to read. Ever.
From the_kop2003 on Mon Mar 17 01:14PM
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up the TOON - we will stay up - say goodbye to the MAKEMS again, next year it will be the year of the smoggy, going down sound familiar. Best strop - KK and id love it if we beat them
From nielbuller on Mon Mar 17 01:25PM
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The biggest strops are always by El Hadji Diouf who cannot stop spitting like the donkey he is.
From thomascousins99 on Mon Mar 17 02:28PM
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r.williams98 .. My instructor once told me reverse gear was actually the fastest of all gears
From tarek.taylor on Mon Mar 17 03:22PM
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I'll never, ever forget Michael Ball's amazing strop when he and Dick Advocaat very nearly came to actual blows after he was subsituted for Rangers during a defeat to Celtic. I've never seen something so petulant and yet so brilliantly hilarious at the same time. Happy Days.............
From kevmun82 on Mon Mar 17 03:27PM
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Biggest strop has to go to Mido when he was taken off in the final, he called the manager a donkey and had a hissy fit
From tarek.taylor on Mon Mar 17 03:54PM
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Will people please remember that arsenal was ELECTED to the EXTENDED first div when it expanded to 22 teams after 1st world war. Get your facts right please.
From pwhitsa on Mon Mar 17 04:47PM
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robert savage is finished....newcastle will probably get relegated unless they let obafemi martins play.... the most underrated player in the league is Micheal Carrick
From omobobo on Mon Mar 17 05:59PM
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this is weird
no offence
dont mind
From gurdeep10 on Mon Mar 17 07:51PM
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Only 2 ellipses by omobobo today, what is the world coming to!
From is_spc on Mon Mar 17 09:12PM
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THis does sound rather mad, but if Newcastle are relegated, it will show the fans that the club isn't the greatest thing since sliced bread and might give them a perspective that managers NEED TIME. Although I really hope they don't because I will no longer be able to show my face at college. (My principal's a Mackem)
From yeovilfan1 on Mon Mar 17 09:48PM
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