Teenage kicks and toilet humour
Thu Mar 20 08:47AM
"Crash", "Bashed", "Simply the Beast". There was only going to be one man making today's back page headlines - Ashley Cole. Perhaps "Dirty Bashtard" might have been more appropriate - his horror tackle very nearly broke Alan Hutton's leg - but as if that alone wasn't bad enough, his reaction in the aftermath was nothing short of appalling.
Just a day after FA chief Lord Triesman vowed to get tough on pompous, arrogant players who show a lack of respect to referees, Cole took it upon himself to prove just how pompous, arrogant and disrespectful he can be.
In a metaphorical two-fingered salute to the establishment, Cole turned his back on Mike Riley as he was shown a yellow card and, despite the referee's insistent pleas for him to show some respect, Cole simply walked away spouting forth some choice expletives like a spoilt child.
ED is sure that if there was a bedroom handy to storm into, he would have been off before you could say "don't the slam the door".
Now we all know Cole has been enduring a few problems in his personal life recently, but taking out his frustration on a referee really is too much.
Off the pitch, Cole is reportedly busy trying to find a way back into his wife's good books, even refusing to go out with the lads the other night, preferring instead to stay in and play on his Playstation like a good boy. But those traits of teenage life now seem to be appearing in his professional life too.
Instead of taking his punishment like a man, Cole, 13, even had the temerity to try to convince Riley - and later Gus Poyet on his way down the tunnel at half-time - of his innocence, wagging his finger at the Spurs assistant manager in yet another horribly arrogant gesture.
John Terry also got in on the act, inexplicably backing up his team-mate by pursuing Riley in a pretty good re-enactment of the Andy D'Urso/Old Trafford incident as Triesman delivered a litter of kittens in front of his telly.
Just a brief aside - ED will eat its own capello if Fabio Hat gives JT the England armband after last night.
- - -
The old Wembley holds many memories for many people. The White Horse Cup Final, Bobby Moore holding aloft the Jules Rimet trophy in 1966, Evel Knievel's failed attempt to jump over 13 buses, the Wembley Lions speedway team, a WWF Summer Slam event, Live Aid - the list of classic events at the old stadium is seemingly endless.
To this day, ED's particular favourite remains a gridiron game between the Miami Dolphins and the San Francisco 49ers back in 1988 as a youthful Doors snatched its first glorious taste of American culture.
For the record, that taste soured pretty soon after kick-off as Dan Marino was hardly given a chance to impress his legions of English fans and ED missed the Dolphins' last minute winning touchdown because it had left early to avoid the crowds.
Nonetheless, it was an enjoyable day out. But there are some bad memories too, mostly stemming from the famous old stadium's later years when it seemed to crumble under the weight of its own history. Or more likely an almost total lack of renovation works since it was built in 1923.
One direct consequence of that neglect was the Empire Stadium's terrible toilet facilities. ED remembers when wee used to practically rain down on supporters from the upper gantries, making a day out at the cup final a daunting experience for even the most hardened match goer.
With anything between around 80,000 bladders emptying themselves in one venue over the course of a couple of hours - and with just one loo for every 250 spectators - the toilets simply could not cope with the sheer volume of urine passing through them.
But with the fan-to-bog ratio now reduced to 34:1 at the new stadium, England can finally be proud of a ground that meets today's gleaming standards.
Which all leads us, in a horribly round about way, to believe that such high standards are de rigueur at stadia around the world these days, especially at major sporting events like the Olympics.
Think again.
Beijing organisers are having to refit the toilets at three main Olympic venues after complaints from foreign athletes about having to use the antiquated squat and thrust method.
Most toilets in China are still of the squat rather than sit-down variety, as spectators and competitors at recent test events in otherwise state of the art venues like the "Water Cube" aquatics centre has the misfortune to discover.
"In my personal point of view, there are cultural differences between Chinese and Western people. Chinese are more used to squat toilets," said Yao Hui, a senior official responsible for the management of Olympic venues.
"Toilet alteration projects at the Bird's Nest (National Stadium), the Water Cube and National Indoor Stadium are ongoing and if technical conditions permit, all the toilets in these stadiums will be changed."
- - -
QUOTE OF THE DAY: "If someone wants to buy Diego, they have to kill me first. Diego will only leave Werder over my dead body." Werder Bremen president Jurgen Born sets himself up for the mother of all falls when the Brazilian leaves in the summer.
TALKING POINT: Who would you like to see make a comeback in the Premier League? Mark Hateley's dad and a Liberian politician, apparently.
"Tony Hateley - once headed a goal when the ball was six inches above the turf. Couldn't do anything with his feet except stand on them. There's a tribe in Brazil that play football exactly like Hateley did. They head the ball along the ground." james_ssmith
"Georgi Kinkladze and Petr Katchouro, though the latter wasn't that good as the former, if I remember. George Weah too, because he had quite possibly the best second name to come out of a debt-ridden and war-torn Liberia. And maybe Daniel Fonseca. In fact, all of these - apart from Katchuro - were awsome in the early days of Championship Manager. I yearn for another Liberian-Uruguayan-Georgian triangle of net-rippling death." fistfullofvisas
For today, let's have your views on the worst stadiums you've ever been to. Standing on the uncovered terraces behind the goal at Danish side Aalborg's pre-renovation ground on a dark and rainy Saturday afternoon singing offensive chants in English with local hard core fans has to rank up there as one of the worst matchday experiences ED has ever endured.
COMING UP: Eintracht Frankfurt against Energie Cottbus in the Bundesliga is about as good as it gets tonight. Of course, our German Brüder in Munich will be scoring that game live for you, so log on from 19:30 GMT and watch those 90 minutes fly by! Or, even better, if you speak German, you'll be able to follow text commentary on eurosport.yahoo.de as well. Wunderbar.
- - -
E-mail this story
IM this storyWhat a big difference between Chelsea's two Coles, SuperJoe and that annoying little brat... Maybe Joe should join a club known for football, rather than a bunch of overpaid prima donnas. It seems the more money JT gets paid, the more toys he buys and then just throws them right out of his cot! Stevie G all the way...
From jcverm on Thu Mar 20 11:48AMI was at the Spurs match last night and thought Chelsea had an extra player in black, given the appalling decisions made by the ref. Not sure why Ashley Cole got away with a yellow. It should have been a yellow card for the dangerous tackle and another for the bad attitude to the ref, but for some reason Mike Riley thought a "word" would have more effect. Spurs had some moments of good football, but again were let down by poor defending, but they managed to go from 3-1 to 4-4 draw much to the fans amazement.It was an exciting game to watch, despite bad behaviour of some players.
From sam53a on Thu Mar 20 11:54AMCole deserved red, no doubt about it, shame on you Riley (we all know football referees are shameless anyway). Spurs and Chelsea should be playing once each month. It was a great show again. Sorry that Berbatov didn't score the very last minute. Would be the best ending. Talking bout worst stadiums - anyone ever visited Bulgaria?!?!?!
From raykov_t on Thu Mar 20 12:01PMhometerryblue, do you want to pull your tongue out of JT's hoop? The guy is, putting it kindly, a national disgrace and a slightly above average defender. Everyone joins the Chelsea bashing brigade because your team is full of muppets that will try any tactic to win, and spit their dummy out of the pram when they lose. You have no chance of winning the title, and you got dumped out of the F.A. cup by Barnsley with £200m on the pitch. Deal with it.
From agentblue_99 on Thu Mar 20 12:04PMcole should have got a straight red for that obsene tackle on hutton,and as for terry backing him up he should not be given the england captincy when the squad is announced today.Both cole and Terry are overrated players and are like two year olds throwing temper tantrums.Cole should be fined for his lack of respect for the referee and for also the tackle on Hutton.
From janetthehobbit on Thu Mar 20 12:04PMall the numpties moaning about ED banging on about Cole's petulant behaviour, rather than the actual football played, need to realise that ED raises a valid talking point. The arrogance of modern day players is VERY much worth talking about, especially when (for example, John Terry fans) the England Captaincy is at stake. Steven Gerrard might have had his wilder moments as a youngster but he never acted like a spoilt brat, and has never chased after a ref like he wanted to do him some serious harm. I agree that a captain's role should include the opportunity to raise a point with the ref (who are far too overprotected by the F.A. rules)in defense of a team-mate, but these arrogant chelsea w***ers are a disgrace to the spirit of the game, as are chelsea fans' attitudes on the whole. Funny how it all seems to have coinsided with the arrival of Abramovich and his billions, before him I'd hardly ever met a chelsea "fan". Money doesn't give you the right to dictate how the game should be played or the spirit in which it should be played, y'know! To all fans of other clubs, don't worry, once Roman gets bored and leaves these so-called fans will all creep back into the woodwork (or most likely go back to supporting the dreaded Manc scum!)
From sammy_jb_uk on Thu Mar 20 12:16PMcashley 'tweedy' cole should never be allowed on a football pitch again
John 'thug' Terry should never captain England again
Joe 'fantastic' cole should join a proper footballing team...
From toksonice on Thu Mar 20 12:25PMDoes anyone believe that Ashley Cole would stay at Chelsea if someone offered him an extra 5 quid a week?
From khsnowball on Thu Mar 20 12:36PMThe new Wembley toilets may have a ratio of 34-1 but they are very poorly designed. There is not enough room to get past the people standing at the urinals without bumping into them which slows everyone down. As a consequence there are empty spaces whilst the queue gets longer. I was at the FA Cup final last season and it took me the whole of the half time break to have a wee. That's why people are late to get back to their seats. The hugh concourse could have been a couple of metres smaller and the tolets a couple of metres bigger - problem solved! By the way, I have been to Wembley twice and found the same problem in two different areas of the stadium.
From michelangeloindeed on Thu Mar 20 12:56PMBy the way - I hate the seats at Wembley as well - too big, to set back and too far apart. It doesn't feel like being in a crowd and it is harder to create an atmosphere. And don't get me going on that middle tier!!!
From michelangeloindeed on Thu Mar 20 12:57PMIf there were ever a Sports WORST Personality Award, I'll definitely vote for Cashley!
From chonsou on Thu Mar 20 01:23PMdamoah, to suggest that cashley did nothing wrong AND was right to put Riley 'in his place' is such an absurd statement that i actually laughed before i realised you were serious.
From manofdann on Thu Mar 20 01:43PMThis is a joke - to even consider that Ashley 'Thumbprint' Cole was right to mouth off is beyond a joke.
The petulent, arrogant moron should have been booked for dissent as well as a booking for the tackle.
He should be suspended for his behaviour as an example
Grwo up Chelsea fans, you have nothing bar children in your squad and poorly disciplined ones at that - it's no surprise that your trophy cabinet will be more barren than A. Cole's bedroom activities.
I'll eat my capello too if Terry becomes captain. These players are so highly paid now that I reckon that they even believe they are above the referees now as well as the fans.
And what is the odds that sav46e has been a fan for about 4 years - glory hunting twat
From adamjonesio on Thu Mar 20 01:55PMso Cole and Terry got their places in hte england squad,bad behaviour does pay then.Capello must not have been in his right mind when he picked them two gerrard should be the captain
From janetthehobbit on Thu Mar 20 02:01PMI couldn't agree more with adamjonesio. From one adam to another eh. I wish i had a decent capello to sink my teeth into..
From the_kop2003 on Thu Mar 20 02:06PMI think we should paste these msgs together and sent them to that pratt Ashley cole's address in the hope that he might altogether @#$% off out of the country for the entire of his pathetic, waste of a human life. But I'm sure he has heard all this shit before every single time he steps out of his house - you would think such a low public opinion of one person would result in that person to take a look at himself and wise the @#$% up but I guess that is wishful thinking for a scum of the earth, piece of shit that is on the bottom of your shoe, Ashley 'Do us all a favour and shoot yourself in the face' Cole.
From cmcmulkin01 on Thu Mar 20 02:06PMWorst stadium would be the Alexandria Stadium here in Egypt. There are no seats to sit on, basically you stand the whole time. Not to mention they separate both set of fans using a thin line of police men. Think of it. 100 men with sticks separating thousands of supporters from going into a frenzy and having one hell of a royal rumble.
From yehia18 on Thu Mar 20 02:10PMWell I'm a Chelsea fan (and have been for 38 years before you start on about Abramovich)and I cant stand A Cole either. Not only is he a liability as a defender and cost us some crucial goals last season but as has been noted he's a thoroughly unpleasant and spoiled brat. JT is a great captain for Chelsea but doesn't do himself any favours with regard to the England job - parking his Bentley in a disabled parking place in Esher to name one thing. However, every team has individuals that are hated by other teams fans so it's not just Chelsea that have overpaid, unpleasant characters on board......if they play with passion for the badge their own fans aren't gonna care. The worst ground I've ever been to that should have been better (no point in bashing the Colchesters and Dagenhams of this world) was Selhurst Park, worst toilets too, actually the whole ground was a toilet.
From zolaisking2003 on Thu Mar 20 02:47PMAshley Cole is such an idiot!!!!!!
From chikajudenwankwo on Thu Mar 20 03:18PMWorst ground? The new Wembley. Looks like an airport. With prices to match. (And I've yet to see any exciting football there - other than the Carling Cup final perhaps...)
From rubenheimer on Thu Mar 20 05:19PMYou lot gotta lay off ashley cole, how many english players lack discipline? I am a Chelsea fan and l have noticed this erratic behaviour by ALMOST all english players in the EPL. Rooney is no exption.
From kudachisepo2000 on Thu Mar 20 09:17PMchelsea is up for sale at end of season ,so be prepared , its going to the arabs ,as the russian is looking into formula one its all the talk here in asia ,
From pompey80uk on Tue Mar 25 02:30PMI've just read page after page of comments about the major football talking points of the moment and they are all spot on! Everyone is having a go at ashley and all the chelsea fans are sticking up for him (well nearly all) and you'd expect that because that's what supporting yer teams all about, but surely now some changes should be made? The term professional footballer should be changed to paid footballer because the way some of them behave is anything but professional(Masherano at old trafford to add more frustration to us liverpool fans!!) but they do get paid and some of them get quite a bit more than a roof tiler from wiltshire. if we behaved like some of them do we'd get the sack. But lets not blame them all!! it is still a great game and I thought the Tottenham Chelsea game ranked with Liverpool Newcastle but it's a shame so much time and energy need to be spent on the other issues rather than the game.Capello wether you like it or not is the england supremo and I bet you will start to see some changes, in fact we already did when the england players who were subbed in paris appeared on the bench with collar and ties. good show!!keep that up and the football side of things as well as the behaviour will improve as well From EEDIEMANUK
From edwardske on Sat Mar 29 05:06PM
Comment on this article
Please sign in to add your comments.
This site is Copyright © 2008 Yahoo! and Eurosport. All rights reserved.
- Terms of Service
- Updated Privacy Policy
- Copyright/IP Policy
- Remarks and Suggestions
- Corporate info
- Jobs at Eurosport
Notice: We collect personal information on this site. To learn more about how we use your information, see our Privacy Policy.