Bad Friday
Fri Mar 21 09:15AM
Some things in life simply cannot be relied upon - French bankers, the English weather, Her In Doors's cooking and Titus Bramble to name but a few examples.
Early Doors, however, is conspicuous by its absence from the list. No matter that today is a Bank Holiday, no matter that you lot are probably aren't even going to read this because you're on holiday, no matter that a Sunday service is running on the train lines, making it terribly difficult for ED to reach its lair.
No matter even that it is a slow news day. As long as it is a weekday, ED will always be here for you, unfailing and refusing to flinch from its duties.
Given the choice, of course, ED would have preferred to stay in bed, get up around midday and spend the afternoon lazily boozing down the local before settling down to follow MK Dons' clash with Peterborough in some top League Two action later on, but unfortunately the powers-that-be were not sympathetic to our wishes.
So here ED finds itself, looking ahead to the day formerly known as Easter Sunday but now rebranded as Sooper Dooper Sunday for the benefit of Rupert Murdoch's pockets.
But it is proving difficult to find inspiration on such a miserable morning, especially as ED is a rather narcissistic creature.
Everyone likes the fruits of their labour to be seen by someone. Imagine scoring the winner in a stadium packed with 80,000 screaming fans. Now repeat that thought, only in a half empty ground. Not quite the same is it?
With no one reading this, Early Doors now knows how Wigan players must feel.
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Sick and tired of today's footballers behaving like kids? Think they're too rich, too arrogant? Losing your faith in football in general?
Fear not, for there is a saviour and his name is Fabio Hat!
Apparently, the England coach won't stand for any more nonsense from his players and is set to revolutionise players' attitudes by starting with the way they behave towards referees.
R-E-S-P-E-C-T. That's what it's all about according to the FA, who have already kicked off a new campaign which they hope will limit the amount of abuse officials receive.
Even Ashley Cole has wised up to it - albeit 24 hours too late - after yesterday issuing a grovelling apology to referee Mike Riley for his antics at White Hart Lane earlier in the week.
Clearly Cole knows better than to mess with Don Fabio. The Italian disciplinarian can be quite intimidating when he wants to be - even Stuart Pearce has admitted to being scared of him - and thankfully he is not afraid to throw his weight behind the effort to rid the game of its current malaise.
Respect indeed.
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Newcastle, it seems, are the new Middlesbrough; at least for they are for the purposes of these pages. Whereas a few weeks ago, barely a day passed without a mention of the pride of Teesside, it now appears that their neighbours from Tyneside have taken up the mantle of Early Doors's favourite conversation topic.
It must be a miserable time for Toon fans at the moment (not because they feature regularly on ED - that surely is an honour - more because they haven't won a league game in nine attempts), but they may be able to take some slight comfort from the knowledge that their club is not the only big name teetering on the brink of relegation this season.
Oh no, they're at it over the Channel too, where Paris St Germain are teetering on the edge of the drop zone and in serious danger of losing their place in 'Europe's fifth best league' Ligue 1.
Some may ask the question "does anyone really care?" The answer is probably not, but nevertheless PSG find themselves above the relegation zone by virtue of goal difference only - a distinctly precarious position to be in with just nine fixtures left to play.
The similar predicaments currently afflicting the two clubs got ED thinking and it turns out that it is not just their lowly league positions they have in common.
Indeed, you could say Newcastle are the English PSG and vice versa, although quite which club will be the happier at the comparison is unclear.
What is clear is that both clubs have an inflated opinion of themselves, the Magpies perhaps more so given that the official Newcastle trophy polisher has been idle for the past 30-odd years. At least PSG win the occasional pot.
Both sides currently boast centre forwards who used to be world class but are now injury prone and frankly average (Pauleta, little Michael), defences that are terribly leaky, wide men with no pace (Jerome Rothen, Damien Duff), goalkeepers who are way past their best (Mickael Landreau, Shay Given) and a distinct lack of creativity in midfield.
The comparisons don't stop there - the two clubs have even shared a number of players over recent years. David Ginola and Laurent Robert have dazzled in both black and white and rouge et bleu, as have David Rozehnal, Alain Goma and Didier Domi, only more fizzled out than dazzled.
Both sets of fans have enjoyed a South American influence - the Parc des Princes has seen the likes of Ronaldinho, Leonardo and Rai, while Faustino Asprilla and the trailblazing Mirandinha have graced the turf at St James'.
They even seem to share an ability to unite neutrals into wanting to see them go down this season, if only for the novelty value.
With their pasts and presents so intertwined, who's to say their futures won't be too? Keep one eye on the Parc des Princes for an indication of how Newcastle will fare for the rest of the season, starting with this weekend's game against champions and runaway Ligue 1 leaders Lyon. Oh dear.
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HEADLINE OF THE DAY: Sorry... I couldn't control my tackle (where have we heard that before, Ashley?) - The Sun sticks the knife into 'love rat' Ashley Cole.
TALKING POINT: "The worst ground I've been to is Red Star's in Belgrade when they are playing Partizan, whose ground is a half a mile away. Without fail seats get ripped up and thrown on the pitch and there is usually a small riot. Once I was given a ticket for the Partizan section of the ground by a Red Star supporter (he was in the Directors' box). Have you ever seen that advert where just one person stands and cheers a goal? Can't comment on the toilets as I wasn't even capable of a squeak when I realised my faux pas." james_ssmith is one very brave (or extremely foolish) man.
As for today, would Ashley Cole have bothered with issuing an apology to Alan Hutton and Mike Riley if he had not got such a panning from the media?
COMING UP: It's Friday, and that means we'll have all the latest team news for the weekend's games shortly before midday and a choose 'em or lose 'em guide to Fantasy Football.
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IM this storyToday's definitely a slow one. Ashley turns up again!! Thank God for saturday and Super Duper Delicious Grand Slam Sunday.
From crazy_pee_jay on Fri Mar 21 09:32AMNot a bad way to start what promises to be a dull Friday. If we are trying to get an air of respect into Football why not allow referees to show bigmouthed players the back of his/her hand? I'd get a season ticket at Chelsea even though I live in Spain just so I can come and watch Ashley Cole get slapped. On a more serious note I can never tell, does Early Doors dislike Newcastle or Boro more, if it was up to ED who would go down?
From the.clanger on Fri Mar 21 09:34AMDont worry lads ye are nothing like Wigan!!
From lynch_derrick on Fri Mar 21 09:36AMAh! It was all worthwhile some people have read it. As for Cole maybe he has seen the error of his ways and is going to be a changed man.
From freeandrewdickson on Fri Mar 21 09:38AMIt's all well and good, demanding respect from the players, but its already covered by the rules of the game. Rule 12, Cautionable Offences, 2. Shows dissent by word or action.
How many games would be abandoned if this rule was actually applied and how long would it be before the press started on the "Referee X, seems to be under the impression that fans have paid to see how many he'll send off"?
From wapld20 on Fri Mar 21 09:48AMFifth best league in Europe? Says who? British? Arrogant skunks, british football is more like a rugby just kick and run not much brain work put into the game so unless this is the best football for you its definetely not the best for every one else...
From haletes on Fri Mar 21 10:10AMBan Diouf.
From thomascousins99 on Fri Mar 21 10:12AMleave nufc alone - our plight will have an upturn soon!!! & we still have the best supporters in the land - "stand up if you love the toon"!!!
From carl.garden on Fri Mar 21 10:16AMFor respect, institute a fingers-on-lips policy. If they're gonna act like kids...
From mike_deacon2003 on Fri Mar 21 10:18AMBrilliant article as ever, ED! Ashley Cole? What a twit (polite version!). How he remained on the pitch remains a mystery to me - a tackle well beyond the Eduardo 'intent', which fortunately did not land on a planted foot... The boy is an idiot, and Fabio would do well to have a little chat with him at least - oooh, better still, make him an example..
From mikegscott43 on Fri Mar 21 10:34AMhaletes.. I don't see a huge number of French teams in the Champions League quarter finals.... although 5th best league may be a little unfair - 4th best (after English, Italian, Spanish) maybe, although the portuguese and german leagues may have an argument with that..
From mikegscott43 on Fri Mar 21 10:38AMWell done, 2 days talking bout Ashley Cole when all he done was a bad tackle.
Here's a question, Would ED have spoke so much about it if it was a Man U Liverpool or Arsenal player?
Answer, NO!From sav46e on Fri Mar 21 10:46AMSav46e what are you on about? The whole argument is that the top 4 are treated better then everyone else, thus being why he didn't see a straight red. Chelsea aren't given worse treatment, and it's a shame Ashley Cole wasn't given a dunce hat for his theatrics.
From the.clanger on Fri Mar 21 10:55AMNot a "dickey-bird" on Colin Montgomerie, who it appears is willing himself to be one of Nick's picks for Valhalla
From peterhughes1930 on Fri Mar 21 11:20AMsav46e,spot on again.
From hometerryblue on Fri Mar 21 11:26AMI couldn't agree more, clanger. Every time we (Fulham) play a "top 4" team, we get at least 1 shockingly bad refereeing decision against us.
Boxing Day, 2005 - John Terry's rugby style charge-down in the box with the score at 3-2 and about 5 mins left.
24th Feb 2007 - Our disallowed goal in injury time against Man U, which would have made it 2-2.
And what about the 1 against Arsenal, when the ref gave us a pen, then reversed it because their players appealed the decision?
I'm sure there are more, but none spring to mind. I think it's sad that referees seem to be intimidated by the "big 4" and can't maintain a level of parity, in terms of their decisions.
From bazzabazb on Fri Mar 21 11:27AMIts not just matches between the big 4 teams and other weaker teams. It happens between the big 4 teams themselves......Remember when William Gallas couldnt cope with Nani when Man U played Arsenal in The FA Cup and kicked him when was down, literally! Nothing was said by any of the officials about this 'tackle'. And it wasnt even dicussed in the after match report or anything. Just because Arsenal were losing 4-0 and Gallas himself was being absolutely roasted by ronaldo. rooney, tevez and co. It was quite a disgrace. Its not just teams outside of 'the big 4' that get harsh decisions aginst them.
From niamhrn on Fri Mar 21 11:49AMAshley Cole has always been a cheat and he never accepts that he has transgessed however blatent the offence. When he was at Arsenal he had a box of tricks, appealing for throw-ins which weren't his, taking a free kick (which he has appealed for but not got) so that the gane has to be brought back for a throw in (time wasting) and generally looking like an overgrown schoolboy. Last week at Chelsea he appealed for a throw-in when everyone could clearly see that the ball had gone out off his leg. Cheat! And I am a Chelsea fan who is embarrassed by his antics. Chuck him out of Chelsea and England. Grow up Ashley!!!
From michelangeloindeed on Fri Mar 21 11:54AMPerhaps there'll be more respect when teams like Chelsea stop surrounding the referee at every decision that goes against them. As major WEngland Internationals Lampard, Cole and Terry should know better, Also I wouldn't like to have Drogba on my side ina fist fight. At well over six feet tall it's amazing how he falls over at the slightest touch. What a softie, or is the word I'm looking for 'Cheat'?
From quatt47 on Fri Mar 21 12:11PMEd you have been warned, NEVER compare Newcastle and PSG again. You are just a bunch Of unapreciative *****, Newcastle still play in THE BEST LEAGUE IN THE WORLD. As a fan of PSG I watch Their Matches every Week. Do you Know How It feels To Watch Rothen Miss handle a direct Pass FROM Landreau (our Paul Robinson) at the 90th minute, when you have miles of Space in front and then give the ball to the other team striker who only has to tap the ball in ( Landreau is beaten although the ball was moving at 0.5 MPH). Can You Imagine ? I can't, That is why I watch the Matches Of the PSG. Do You know how lucky you are? It Is (nearly) worse than having Rob Earnshaw and Paul Robinson In the same team. So I Would Like to Say to ED, Stop comparing The PSG with Any other team (even Derby County) because you do not know what Bad (I mean REALY BAD) football is and start appreciating Derby vs Sunderland because in France that would be Grand Slam Drunk Super Whopper Sunday.
From stephann009 on Fri Mar 21 12:49PMI feel obliged to add this next comment because...well i'm bored ok?
In my opinion if a player from team A fouls a player from team B then from both teams the only people that can talk to the referee are the player involved and the team's captain. Any other players are told to keep their distance or "Back off". If they dont, instant booking!From the.clanger on Fri Mar 21 01:11PMbazzabazb your spot on with what you said as a fulham fan i always see a bad decision when we play like when a chelsea keeper gets kicked in the head the game is stopped and a freekick given when it happens to our keeper nothing said play carries on. Against blackburn our defender gets thrown to the floor, @#$%rsen scores and guess what the officals go blind and didn't see anything, if refs what respect try showing some to the little teams first and stand up to the bigger (top 4) teams and treat everyone the same.
From cliffordelkington on Fri Mar 21 01:16PMED well done. Tremendous commitment to work on a Bank Holiday. Sav46e and Hometerryblue, please just accept that the sun does not shine out of Cole (A)'s bottom and that he deserves all the derision that has been directed his way. Hutton might not have played another game of football from that tackle. He was lucky in the way that Eduardo wasn't. Cole should have been sent off for serious foul play and given the mandatory three-match suspension. His apology was petulent and only brought on by the fear that he might not get picked for a friendly (match-bonus please).
Cole should be "rested" from the England setup until he can get his private life off the pitch - á lá Gascoigne.
From g_hine on Fri Mar 21 01:19PMNow there's a point. Would Chashley have issued an apology? Probably not. But then again, he probably hasn't got an awful lot of friends at the moment. Apart from his lass, of course, who, with that Geordie accent, really is something else. And maybe a few mates at Chelsea. And maybe the bank manager. Well, hang on, maybe he's got a few mates...actually, what was the point of the story? Oh yeah, being sorry. Probably not. But then again, who cares? He's finished as footy player. Never mind though.
From fistfullofvisas on Fri Mar 21 02:00PMTell you what though, even though John Terry is six-foot massive, he doesn't look that big in the media, does he? I'm not saying he looks small, but you know what I mean? My mate saw him at a match - John, that is, because he was playing the match, while my mate was watching it - and he said he looked massive. Fair game really.
From fistfullofvisas on Fri Mar 21 02:01PMOh yeah, the appology thing. I think Arsene Wenger should say sorry to Christopher Wreh for wrecking (!) his career. He could have been the next George Weah. I also think that whoever the Juventus manager was at the time should say sorry to Daniel Fonseca for not playing him as much. I also remeber buying Georgi Kinkladze for Liverpool on that champ man game. I'm not sorry for that, because it was fair game.
From fistfullofvisas on Fri Mar 21 02:04PMOh yeah, the appology thing. I think Arsene Wenger should say sorry to Christopher Wreh for wrecking (!) his career. He could have been the next George Weah. I also think that whoever the Juventus manager was at the time should say sorry to Daniel Fonseca for not playing him as much. I also remeber buying Georgi Kinkladze for Liverpool on that champ man game. I'm not sorry for that, because it was fair game.
From fistfullofvisas on Fri Mar 21 02:04PMAshley Cole this, Ashley Cole that! That ref received the treatment he must have thought he deserved. He could have easly sent Cole off just for his reaction, and atleast carded JT for his annoyance.
From jasondharrison on Fri Mar 21 03:30PMThanks for working on a Bank Holiday, ED, some might say it comes with the territory.
A.Cole has a history of petulance why the surprise now? Over-rated and over-paid combine to give a false air of importance that can obly be banished by ignoring hime...in the hope that he'll go away!!From joan7442000 on Fri Mar 21 04:58PMWHAT BULL**** IS THIS?! IF BRITISH LEAGUE IS THE BEST IN THE WORLD THEN HOW COME YOU GOT NOTHING TO TALK ABOUT CONCERNING FOOTBALL APART FROM COLE'S!!! REACTION AND ATTITUDE TOWARDS THE REF?!!!!!!!!!!! YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING...
From haletes on Sat Mar 22 07:48PM
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