Lazy days
Tue Jul 15 08:58AM
It looks as though two of the laziest players in the game are about to head on up to Manchester. Manchester United have finally got those dollar signs ringing up in Tottenham's eyes in their pursuit for Dimitar Berbatov, while Ronaldinho looks likely to sacrifice success in the quest for cash by rocking up at City.
We've all heard the guff spouted by top players about it being a short career and all that, but with a handful of highly lucrative sponsorship deals, including one with an obscure company that makes photocopiers, Ronnie probably isn't short of a bob or two.
It's well known that the Brazilian only turns up to around half of Barcelona's training sessions, which was fine when he was the best player in the world and they were winning things, but as soon he put on a bit of timber and his performances dropped it became a scandal.
Quite what Mark Hughes's reaction will be to the star acquisition that he didn't ask for putting in about four hours work per week at Carrington remains to be seen.
Spurs striker Berbatov may also have to buck his ideas up if he moves to Old Trafford.
The Bulgarian is one of the most lethal strikers in the Premier League, but his body language seems to cause offence in some quarters.
He has revealed in the past that he models his look on Andy Garcia in The Godfather Part III, but his lolloping about the place, swinging his arms and hiding his hands up his long sleeves, is more akin to Harry Enfield in Kevin and Perry Go Large.
ED reckons that, like many gifted youngsters, he just finds this whole football lark too easy, and therefore doesn't feel as though he needs to put in maximum effort. A move to United could change all that, and the world could soon see the very best of the Berb.
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As is probably painfully obvious, Doors doesn't get out that much, preferring to spend most evenings crying itself to sleep atop a mattress on the floor, forced to mentally replay the moments when it all went horribly wrong.
Needless to say, it doesn't attend many showbiz soirees, but it was cock-a-hoop to hear about a recent launch party for some football-related media package or other, attended by a couple of former players and a smattering of people who make a living out of being a bit famous.
Apparently one of the highlights of the evening was sleazeball one-hit wonder Har Mar Superstar blasting penalties at Peter Shilton while wearing a yellow poncho.
Quite what the small talk between Pixie Geldof and fellow guest Martin Keown would have been over a few canapés is anyone's guess.
ED would like to think that Pixie asked him why he didn't just wallop Ruud van Nistelrooy instead of that funny forearm smash thing, and in turn Keown could have asked the celebrity offspring exactly what her purpose on this earth was.
Football stepped into this daft realm around the same time as all the cash came flooding in, but a bunch of ligging non-entities who care nothing for the game quaffing free booze at a footie-based shindig is a bit much really.
Just to clarify, it was Har Mar Superstar wearing the poncho, not Shilts.
- - -
Perhaps a long-secreted desire to become a 3AM girl is being revealed here, but it would be foolish not to mention the news that Amy Winehouse has been collecting Euro 2008 footie stickers.
Apparently it's to lift the spirits of her husband in prison, though if ED was banged up for three to five in Parkhurst it doesn't think the sight of Razvan Rat's squad photo or action shots of Stephan Lichsteiner would really do the trick.
Let's just hope that she's not been using that shiny Dariusz Dudka sticker to heat up something she shouldn't.
- - -
FOREIGN VIEW - German tabloid Bild passes verdict on Ronaldo's new high-stacked hairstyle: "Afronaldo in Hippie Hair vacation.! No, that is not Don King, but nearly..."
TALKING POINT - andywalker269 clearly believes that the words 'social' and 'mobility' have no place next to each other: "Rooney is from a council estate. You can put him in nice suits, take him to Italy to get married, give him lorry loads of cash...at the end of a day he will still be a council estate scally who likes fags and booze."
Bencornelius23 likes to distract from the lack of female attention by reminding people of the time of day: "It's a shame the girls aren't here dis morning to add another dimension to this mornings board as it seems to be very slow this morning."
Kevmun82 has retribution in mind: "I'd like to see Celtic sign El-Hadji Diouf. Not to play, you understand, but instead they strap him to a gurney and wheel him out at half-time for every fan to come down one by one and spit in his face. See how he likes it. Money well spent!"
Today - Who is the laziest player you've ever seen?
how can berbatov be lazy, he scored 23 goals last season, how many goal assists ( i hate that term) and his very presence in the team is enough to give the opposition a worry, he's very economic with his energy and his positional sense and late arrival in the penalty box just in time is enough to lose his marker
From roxydgurl on Tue Jul 15 09:33AMi would have to say Robert who used to play for newcastle was pretty lazy, all he had was a shot.
From jay8my on Tue Jul 15 09:34AMi don't think tottenham ever loses because berbatov isn't "interested enough", if he ever looks bored, it's because he's not getting much of the ball. he doesn't have rooney-level intensity, but that's not always such a good thing, is it?
From jcpotvin on Tue Jul 15 09:36AMjcpotvin I don't actually think Voronin would be a big hit with the teenage girls, not that many of the teeny boppers that are fans of Ronaldo would be screaming for Voronin! Ponytails aren't that popular with most women! As for who I think the laziest player is hmmm that's a toughy as there are an awful lot of players who are lazy but I think I have to go with Massimo Donati... much to my disappointment he's a lazy b*stard, stands about all day looking pretty and doesn't do much, he needs a good kick up the ar$e and I'm very prepared to do the honors!
From claire881 on Tue Jul 15 09:38AM3 things
1.jay, can u believe i finally got a mention on ED! Although not an entrirely positive 1 i admit!
2.How exactly is berbatov lazy?
3.hello roxy, u may be interested to know that a german friend of mine has said that their papers are full of podolski to spurs links
From bencornelius23 on Tue Jul 15 09:40AMQprs patrick agjeman is the laziest player i have ever watched...its just ridiculus
From raulpeeves on Tue Jul 15 09:42AMRonaldo is lazy, it only takes one phonecall to make his move to Madrid stick and let us all get back to our lives.
From the.clanger on Tue Jul 15 09:42AMC. Ronaldo is the lazyest player, one phonecall would make his sodding move official and spare us all the agony.
From the.clanger on Tue Jul 15 09:44AMwell, i will confess, vo-ronin looks a little more like a russian porn star than a teen pin-up, but you can't blame me for trying to unload him (ponytails aren't that popular with most people) and his league-two caliber skills to a rival club! besides, united doesn't need to import anyone, they have vidic, ginger scholes and the dashing wes brown ~ handsome boy modeling school indeed.
From jcpotvin on Tue Jul 15 09:44AMI'd like to nominate Barry "Captain Fantastic" Ferguson as a lazy sod! Right he stands about and tries to look busy, makes zero effort to tackle or really do anything of much use, he won't run to the ball it has to come to him, he's a laxy @#$%! Now I must admit his lazy b*stard and every other kind of b*stardness don't bother me when he's playing for Rangers cos the more lazy players they have the better for Celtic but when he's playing for Scotland and doing a job that could easily be done by a traffic cone its starts to get on my wick! He certainly shouldn't be captain! Still though he also seems to be a master of the force as most sports writers in Scotland can't wait to give him a @#$% 9 after every game... maybe they're confusing it with the number he wears instead of a rating! He's always man of the match no matter how little he does or how many throats etc he grabs! He's just a b*stard!
From claire881 on Tue Jul 15 09:53AMjc don't forget about little rabid-dog rooney... even though he plays like a jack russell on steroids he does lower the average level of looks in the united team. and if ronaldo's diamond earrings leave to join madrid we'll officially be the ugliest team in the premiership...
From jcverm on Tue Jul 15 09:53AMwhat the hell where did my comment go!!!! it was FOOTBALL related!!!
From dannickbates on Tue Jul 15 09:57AMWhen Hammers were letting in 4 Goals a game toward the end of the season I wondered if they were being lazy or if Terry 'Just Let Me Keep my Directors Box' Brown had been handing out the sleeping pills in order to make a quick buck at the bookies
From arttidesco on Tue Jul 15 09:58AMthat is easily the most worked up i've ever heard anyone ever get over barry ferguson ~ sheesh, don't be so @#$% traffic cones.
From jcpotvin on Tue Jul 15 10:00AMglen johnson. nuff said
From lifeisblu on Tue Jul 15 10:00AMGiven there lack of Performance in Euro 2008 surely Switzerland and France qualify in the lazy stakes followed closely by Austria who only managed an extra time penalty
From arttidesco on Tue Jul 15 10:01AMOliver Kahn always looked pretty lazy to me. Just used to stand there watching the game. Probablly only did 1 or 2 things per game
From chrisnewman950 on Tue Jul 15 10:01AMTalking of lazy players... Harry Kewell! Best thing he ever did for Liverpool was decide that he was suddenly injured in THAT CL final when the going had got a bit tough. Off comes Kewell, on comes Hammann and the rest, as they say, is history!
From gemma.lornie on Tue Jul 15 10:01AMLooks like the comments are being eaten faster than a hot dog in Coney Island
From g_hine on Tue Jul 15 10:01AMDurban Dan it helps if you press the 'Submit comment' button
From arttidesco on Tue Jul 15 10:02AMa whole page got yanked
From jcpotvin on Tue Jul 15 10:02AMha ha man utd really do have the ugliest team in the prem.
From jay8my on Tue Jul 15 10:03AMMorning Mr Numanoid your right about Kahn the nice thing about the Hermans is that if each of their players does one or two things they win
It is called being organised From arttidesco on Tue Jul 15 10:05AMdont think any 1 has mentioned how lazy anelka is yet, he just sits on a plane and moves clubs.
From jay8my on Tue Jul 15 10:05AMany team with van der sar and j.s park(probably the ugliest human being in history) has to win the ugliest team award
From bencornelius23 on Tue Jul 15 10:05AMg_hine is so funny and smart.....not!
From jay8my on Tue Jul 15 10:07AMjc of Bin Ladens Toon are you having an ID crises or are you in the Christiano Ronaldo vanity league ?
From arttidesco on Tue Jul 15 10:08AMAnd what the hell is septic arthritis because it sure as hell kept him out of action for a season.... lazy b'?@*£d syndrome me thinks!!!!
From gemma.lornie on Tue Jul 15 10:08AMJoey Barton is probably not working to hard for his lolly this morning
From arttidesco on Tue Jul 15 10:09AMtroll united has some unfortunate looking lads ~ vidic is a character out of 'princess bride' and gary neville looks like a dracula!
From jcpotvin on Tue Jul 15 10:09AM
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